I can't be the only one

[It2ly]

So..i hope im not the only one who goes through this
but it seems whenever i make a mistake others just have to point it out
even when i notice it
especially when they know i have autism
all my friends treat me like im either to crazy to smart or to stupid
everyone thinks i dont think before doing things

but i do i just choose to do them anyway because why tf not

the only one who gets me is my brother who is also autistic
and has social anxiety

i am either to awkward to talk to others or to quiet
or to shy

when im upset
i like to hide it but it only makes me cry more
and it makes me cry even more when no one notices

i hate it when im in the middle of a convo with someone and someone else comes over talks to them
and then they leave

i know its a normal thing
but i find it like their ignoring me
and dont want to speak to me anymore

whenever my friends are upset
the others give them treatment
and cheer them up
when im upset
no one cares

NO ONE

and when they do they think im upset over something i would nevee get upset over
they treat me like the autism in me is the biggest part of me when its not

yes i was diagnosed with autism when i was three

but that doesnt mean i still have it if i dont show any signs
to it

so maybe im midly autistic

Who really cares
everyone at my school makes fun of autism
so i feel even more awkward
everyone in general makes fun of autism.. wheather its low or high
and i have the need to defend everyone..all the time

people say autism makes you emotionless
but due to my social anxiety
i feel emotion all the time i guess i can thank my social anxiety for making me feel empyhy but still

theirs so many problems when you tell someone you have autism
they always think im gonna have a panic attack at the slightest noise
they wonder why i cover my ears at loud noises (its because i have sensitive ears duh)

they wonder why im so observant and they try to make me better at maths because autistic people are meant to be good at maths and science

both of those subjects i hate the most

i prefare art! and drawing and anime

i wish i never told them i had autism
and i wish they got my jokes
my sarcasm
and sometimes i wish i got theirs

but..i hope im not alone in this

even when i go to autism groups i feel different

 

[SusanLR]

when im upset
no one cares

NO ONE

and when they do they think im upset over something i would nevee get upset over

I just went through this again tonight. Just a few hours ago and tonight I feel hurt and angry. This is why I tell no one. In this case I live with the person and they had to find out. I couldn't keep up the act of being what NTs want and we would get into fights over silly things. I'm scolded, called crazy, don't make things clear enough or whatever the case may be it's my fault to hear him tell it.
Everytime he talks with me like he is trying to understand and will still care, wham, just give it a few days, sometimes just a few hours and I'm scolded and he's angry. I always ask if he can clarify what I did and he can't or just runs away. How do you find a solution to a problem if you can't talk about it?
Everytime I let myself try to trust he understands and cares, hurt again. Wish I could find happiness with just my own company then I wouldn't get hurt.

 

[Ambi]

So..i hope im not the only one who goes through this
but it seems whenever i make a mistake others just have to point it out
even when i notice it
especially when they know i have autism
all my friends treat me like im either to crazy to smart or to stupid
everyone thinks i dont think before doing things

but i do i just choose to do them anyway because why tf not

the only one who gets me is my brother who is also autistic
and has social anxiety

i am either to awkward to talk to others or to quiet
or to shy

when im upset
i like to hide it but it only makes me cry more
and it makes me cry even more when no one notices

i hate it when im in the middle of a convo with someone and someone else comes over talks to them
and then they leave

i know its a normal thing
but i find it like their ignoring me
and dont want to speak to me anymore

whenever my friends are upset
the others give them treatment
and cheer them up
when im upset
no one cares

NO ONE

and when they do they think im upset over something i would nevee get upset over
they treat me like the autism in me is the biggest part of me when its not

yes i was diagnosed with autism when i was three

but that doesnt mean i still have it if i dont show any signs
to it

so maybe im midly autistic

Who really cares
everyone at my school makes fun of autism
so i feel even more awkward
everyone in general makes fun of autism.. wheather its low or high
and i have the need to defend everyone..all the time

people say autism makes you emotionless
but due to my social anxiety
i feel emotion all the time i guess i can thank my social anxiety for making me feel empyhy but still

theirs so many problems when you tell someone you have autism
they always think im gonna have a panic attack at the slightest noise
they wonder why i cover my ears at loud noises (its because i have sensitive ears duh)

they wonder why im so observant and they try to make me better at maths because autistic people are meant to be good at maths and science

both of those subjects i hate the most

i prefare art! and drawing and anime

i wish i never told them i had autism
and i wish they got my jokes
my sarcasm
and sometimes i wish i got theirs

but..i hope im not alone in this

even when i go to autism groups i feel different

This is why I don't want anyone to know - it's already bad enough when they misunderstand me, but I think it would be 10 times worse if they knew. I'm sorry you are in this terrible situation.

 

[Kevin L.]

So..i hope im not the only one who goes through this
but it seems whenever i make a mistake others just have to point it out
even when i notice it
especially when they know i have autism
all my friends treat me like im either to crazy to smart or to stupid
everyone thinks i dont think before doing things

but i do i just choose to do them anyway because why tf not

the only one who gets me is my brother who is also autistic
and has social anxiety

i am either to awkward to talk to others or to quiet
or to shy

when im upset
i like to hide it but it only makes me cry more
and it makes me cry even more when no one notices

i hate it when im in the middle of a convo with someone and someone else comes over talks to them
and then they leave

i know its a normal thing
but i find it like their ignoring me
and dont want to speak to me anymore

whenever my friends are upset
the others give them treatment
and cheer them up
when im upset
no one cares

NO ONE

and when they do they think im upset over something i would nevee get upset over
they treat me like the autism in me is the biggest part of me when its not

yes i was diagnosed with autism when i was three

but that doesnt mean i still have it if i dont show any signs
to it

so maybe im midly autistic

Who really cares
everyone at my school makes fun of autism
so i feel even more awkward
everyone in general makes fun of autism.. wheather its low or high
and i have the need to defend everyone..all the time

people say autism makes you emotionless
but due to my social anxiety
i feel emotion all the time i guess i can thank my social anxiety for making me feel empyhy but still

theirs so many problems when you tell someone you have autism
they always think im gonna have a panic attack at the slightest noise
they wonder why i cover my ears at loud noises (its because i have sensitive ears duh)

they wonder why im so observant and they try to make me better at maths because autistic people are meant to be good at maths and science

both of those subjects i hate the most

i prefare art! and drawing and anime

i wish i never told them i had autism
and i wish they got my jokes
my sarcasm
and sometimes i wish i got theirs

but..i hope im not alone in this

even when i go to autism groups i feel different

I went through much of the same issues when I was younger, and still do even as an adult.

First, don't let anyone be dismissive of your feelings. Your feelings are important, and don't let anyone get you to believe that there is something wrong with you because of them.

Try to find a person--worthy of your trust--to help coach you socially in an unobtrusive, gentle way. If you have trouble talking, try to be a good listener. Almost anyone loves to have a good listener around, and listening to other people will help give you insights into social pitfalls.

I wish that I could tell you that it gets easier, but it doesn't. What does get better are your skills and resources for dealing with it, which is almost as good.

 

[Suzanne]

Hi there.

You have just described my life and I am old enough to be your mother!

I feel sure that you will feel much better soon, psychologically, for having joined aspie central and perhaps your brother will want to join, because it is truly a very supportive forum.

I did laugh with your description about now NTs are with us, because I have had the same thing. Oh, you must be so good at maths etc and I laugh and say: we are mutual enemies.

I have very little worth in the nt world. I am ignored and talked over and to say it makes me feel subhuman is an understatement. It obviously as to be HOW I put myself across that repels people.

Now, if your "friends" are willing, you can direct them here, so that they can gain a better understanding of you.

You can come on here and rant away and will not be judged. Why? Because we ALL know what you are going through and at your age, you need a heck of a lot of support.

You are no longer alone.

 

[Alaska]

So..i hope im not the only one who goes through this
but it seems whenever i make a mistake others just have to point it out
even when i notice it
especially when they know i have autism
all my friends treat me like im either to crazy to smart or to stupid
everyone thinks i dont think before doing things

but i do i just choose to do them anyway because why tf not

the only one who gets me is my brother who is also autistic
and has social anxiety

i am either to awkward to talk to others or to quiet
or to shy

when im upset
i like to hide it but it only makes me cry more
and it makes me cry even more when no one notices

i hate it when im in the middle of a convo with someone and someone else comes over talks to them
and then they leave

i know its a normal thing
but i find it like their ignoring me
and dont want to speak to me anymore

whenever my friends are upset
the others give them treatment
and cheer them up
when im upset
no one cares

NO ONE

and when they do they think im upset over something i would nevee get upset over
they treat me like the autism in me is the biggest part of me when its not

yes i was diagnosed with autism when i was three

but that doesnt mean i still have it if i dont show any signs
to it

so maybe im midly autistic

Who really cares
everyone at my school makes fun of autism
so i feel even more awkward
everyone in general makes fun of autism.. wheather its low or high
and i have the need to defend everyone..all the time

people say autism makes you emotionless
but due to my social anxiety
i feel emotion all the time i guess i can thank my social anxiety for making me feel empyhy but still

theirs so many problems when you tell someone you have autism
they always think im gonna have a panic attack at the slightest noise
they wonder why i cover my ears at loud noises (its because i have sensitive ears duh)

they wonder why im so observant and they try to make me better at maths because autistic people are meant to be good at maths and science

both of those subjects i hate the most

i prefare art! and drawing and anime

i wish i never told them i had autism
and i wish they got my jokes
my sarcasm
and sometimes i wish i got theirs

but..i hope im not alone in this

even when i go to autism groups i feel different

I am sorry you have had these bad experiences, but it is just something you have to learn to deal with if you are an Aspie or Autie. You can learn and develop better social skills and that will make this stuff easier to deal with. It will get better as you learn more.

You are on the right site to find people so you do not need to feel alone in social problems and in dealing with NTs. Probably most of us have shared at least some of your experiences.

 

[Momo]

This sounds just about right to me, and that's why I never really tell anyone about my Aspergers unless I have to. It just never seems to end well usually. The fact that people always make fun of it and put you in little stereotypical boxes just about drives me nuts. No, you are not the only one feeling this way. Heck, my own father used to laugh in my face about how I was an "f**** up person". But the truth is, you're not. You don't need to listen to those bullies either.