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Featured I can feel a Burn Out coming.

Discussion in 'Friends, Family & Social Skills' started by Rocco, Feb 20, 2020.

  1. Rocco

    Rocco Wandering Trainwreck V.I.P Member

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    For the last few weeks i have been struggling with feelings of being burned out and on the precipice of a downward descent.
    I keep telling myself, “One more day...” and i keep hoping i will endure. The stress and drama have been accumulating like a snow drift piled far above my head.
    I tried to warn two people that have recently become involved in my life, about what is coming if I cannot prevent the storm. As to be expected, I think one or both misunderstood my words of caution for words of ending all communication. I do not have the energy to convince folks or argue my point.

    Have you ever been aware enough to sense the impending doom of a future burn out?


    Edited to add:
    Burn out is what i call the emotional and physical exhaustion, caused by work and or socializing. It can last days/weeks/months and seems like a depression, or reclusive behavior pattern.
     
    Last edited: Feb 20, 2020
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  2. rainfall

    rainfall Playing in the rain =P

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    I may not be talking about the same thing but I call them breakdowns. Then there's the rebuilding. A compilation of all the things in life I didn't or couldn't or didn't even know I needed to deal with, etc., that one last thing sends me into it. I went through that again just recently and previously I've pushed myself through them but this time I just kept my distance as much as possible from anyone that might bring me further down and made it through with some new info on myself as a result. It's unfortunate that our warnings are not understood as it complicates things even more and adds to the pile.
     
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  3. RockyMountainAidan

    RockyMountainAidan New Member

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    Hello. I would consider them breakdowns too. This does not make them bad though, it keeps the good people in your life close, and the bad ones it will push away. It is hard to make new friends and keep good friends in your life. When I went through several of those spurts, I had no one around me and nobody understood. I became very angry and started lashing out. When we "warn" people, they very often do not understand the need for a warning or find it to be aloof. That is why I do not have more than one friend. It can be hard, but give it breathing room and come back to it after doing something you find relaxing. I hope this makes sense and helps.
     
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  4. GadAbout

    GadAbout Well-Known Member

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    When I have had a burnout or shutdown I withdrew from commitments and went into semi-seclusion. Although sometimes necessary, this is not optimal, as it usually means burning some bridges.

    See if you can achieve the same thing by cutting back on some commitments and spending some time doing mindfulness meditation. Other stress-management techniques such as massage also helped me although they are mere band-aids.

    Good luck. This does not mean you are a failure - just that you reached a breaking point.
     
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  5. Aspychata

    Aspychata My Art Work

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    So sorry to hear this, l think everyday is another day closer to your goal. Maybe if you think about what you are trying to achieve. Then this will migate some of your burnout.

    Also look at your past accomplishments. I have moved really far from where l was when l was just divorced. I was battered and confused. I now stand firmly, have a lot of confidence due to my jobs and l am so much happier. Good luck to you.
     
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  6. onlything

    onlything Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I'm sorry to hear it, things must be really tough for you now... But you said it yourself, it's one more day closer to rest. You'll get there soon enough, for now, keep going. You can do it, you know? Almost there.

    It's the same for me. As long as I focus on the present and tell myself 'it's fine, it's almost there', I can keep going. As soon as my head 'breaks down', I break down. Can't help it. Can't stop it.

    If I feel it coming, I tell people that I need to distance myself, to focus on other things, to have some space to deal with stress. Most of the time they won't understand, so I make sure to follow up with a 'generic' written message about how important they are to me but that I'm slowly getting to the end of my rope (due to work etc.) and I need some time to work it out myself, to give my full focus to the issue. Can't really do anything else.

    I hope it gets better for you soon. Good luck and please take care.
     
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  7. Bolletje

    Bolletje Overly complicated potato V.I.P Member

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    Oh do I know how you feel. I was still building up my hours at work after a three month absence for depression and I got hit with an increased workload in december. I figured I’d just buckle up and power through it, which worked in December. However, in January I found myself struggling with writing reports and falling asleep at work. At the same time I got a huge load of work dumped on my desk. My supervisor and my manager both fell sick at the same time and I didn’t have anyone to ask for help while work kept piling up. I knew I wasn’t going to be able to handle this for a long time so I just called in sick.

    In the end I was too late after all because I’ve been home sick for three weeks now and my manager and occupational physician have told me to stay home until April to recuperate. I’m annoyed that I didn’t catch it in time even though I’ve been through this again and again.

    And now I’m in a phase where I don’t want to leave the house, wear my pyjama’s all day and don’t want to talk to people except for by text. I’m trying to break the funk by going to visit some old friends in another city next weekend. I really hope I can motivate myself enough to actually do it.
     
    Last edited: Feb 20, 2020
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  8. Rasputin

    Rasputin High Functioning ASD / Aspie V.I.P Member

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    This is the approach I have taken also, and luckily the last time this happened I had fulfilled my existing commitments when I withdrew.
     
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  9. justin_havu

    justin_havu Well-Known Member

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    I left my last band due to burnout, among other things. Mainly the places we've been playing have been too small and too crowded, and I couldn't handle it, (I can't handle being around people anyway, everyday things even, like grocery shopping, or going to the pharmacy to get my meds, are a total disaster.) Also, every winter is bad, and seems to get worse every year. I've gained close to 60 lbs, I only eat the same couple things every day, and haven't been exercising, which ironically, is something I really enjoy.
     
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  10. Yeshuasdaughter

    Yeshuasdaughter Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Man that burnout is already here.

    I'm just not available right now to take your calls. You can leave your name and number and if I'm mentally fit enough, I will return your call.
     
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  11. Major Tom

    Major Tom Searching for ground control... V.I.P Member

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    Sorry to hear life is wearing you down. I know the feeling definitely, but due to a stable home at least, I'm able to avoid them usually and also having some kind of stress relief helps (for me splitting and gathering firewood).

    I say take some time to yourself, you probably need it and hopefully things will get better if you do that and try and remain positive.
     
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  12. Kirsty

    Kirsty ND

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    Sometimes, Cassiopeia, (going from my own experience) all I want is a cuddle and nothing else can fill that void by being chronically alone; even a professional full body massage is not enough. I have two male friends, but there’s strict boundaries about cuddles in case they turn it sexual.
     
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  13. Bolletje

    Bolletje Overly complicated potato V.I.P Member

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    Sometimes I want a cuddle, sometimes I want to eat a cheesecake in one sitting while in bed.
     
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  14. Streetwise

    Streetwise very cautious contributor V.I.P Member

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    have you ever thought you might have adrenal fatigue ,I’ve read it’s something to do with burn out ,I think I get it!But I wouldn’t be able to work out if what you’ve got is different from what I’ve got ,I am beyond perception.
     
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  15. Tony Ramirez

    Tony Ramirez Christian with Asperger's Syndrome

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    I have going to various Church events I do feel fatigue after from all the forced socializing. I am still doing it though but it either makes me sleep more or it causes insomnia as after Tuesday's event where I socialized with a girl something I usually don't do since I am back on the Seroquel.
     
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  16. Rocco

    Rocco Wandering Trainwreck V.I.P Member

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    I am feeling much better this week. My job ended on monday, and i have taken the last several days to just enjoy life and quiet time.
     
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