Humiliated for stimming

[Acorn_Elf]

Just recently I got a seasonal part time job selling picture frames at a mall kiosk. This is the first job I've had in a couple of years. Everything was going great until something disturbed me. I stim by twirling my hair. This morning an elderly man approached me and said "yeah! Twirl it! Twirl it!" because I was twirling my hair. I didn't think anyone would notice me doing it and the fact that the elderly man pointed it out and said "twirl it" in a creepy way was awkward. I felt humiliated. It was just super weird of him and it made me feel like a ditz. Anyone else been humiliated for stimming?

 

[Tom]

Not humiliated, but I experienced some embarassment at having people point out my stimming/repetitive nervous motion. Don't feel too bad. Loads of people, not just aspies have nervous behaviors they do.... nail biters, foot tappers, beard strokers, the list is endless. Anyway, annoying guys like that are pathetic. Their problem not yours.

 

[Judge]

It was just super weird of him and it made me feel like a ditz.

It WAS super weird of HIM. He is the ditz. Not you.

Stim away.

 

[Acorn_Elf]

It WAS super weird of HIM. He is the ditz. Not you.

Stim away.

Thanks yeah, it was really weird and creepy. I was definitely confused by him and embarrassed.

 

[Major Tom]

I find that most people don't really notice my stimming/nervous tendencies, maybe because I tend to mentally stim. Maybe he noticed because he is also autistic, and many times we feel the compunction to blurt things out at inappropriate times? Sorry that you felt uncomfortable, but perhaps its a different way to look at the situation. Regardlessly, do what you have to do to be healthy, don't worry about what others think.

 

[OkRad]

Maybe he was told he should be more social? They relaly push that for the elderly now. Most the seniors I know don't look like the ads on Medicare, riding around on bikes and skydiving. But they are bullied into thinking if they are not bursting around, they will die all of 60 minutes earlier. "They" ought to leave old people alone so they can leave you alone. Leave people the h** alone!!

 

[Progster]

It was none of his business to make comments about your stimming. Try not to let it bother you and continue doing whatever make you feel more comfortable. I don't know why people can't just keep themselves to themselves.
I pick at the skin on my lips and face a lot, and I sometimes get people telling me not to do it because it might get infected... as if it were so simple.

 

[Suzanne]

No humilated, but my husband said not long ago, whilst in a shop: what on earth are you doing with your hands? I was wringing them, I guess in glee, but absolutely unaware of doing so. I felt a bit embarrassed, but what makes me even more so, is when my husband has caught me talking to myself!

My husband, although not an aspie, actually fiddles with things and it winds me up, and makes me feel uncomfortable, because well, he is sort of stimming in a way and yet, I am annoyed, so I understand why others would feel annoyed with me.

He also eats pens and I have to hide the only two I have, because I find it horribly disgusting to use a pen that he has chewed.

As for what happened to you, perhaps the man was just being friendly? But because he is the first to notice, it felt he was mocking?

 

[Mattymatt]

Just recently I got a seasonal part time job selling picture frames at a mall kiosk. This is the first job I've had in a couple of years. Everything was going great until something disturbed me. I stim by twirling my hair. This morning an elderly man approached me and said "yeah! Twirl it! Twirl it!" because I was twirling my hair. I didn't think anyone would notice me doing it and the fact that the elderly man pointed it out and said "twirl it" in a creepy way was awkward. I felt humiliated. It was just super weird of him and it made me feel like a ditz. Anyone else been humiliated for stimming?

That is what I call a dude that might have some sexual predatory proclivities. Hope he stays the hell away from you!

 

[Judge]

That is what I call a dude that might have some sexual predatory proclivities. Hope he stays the hell away from you!

Or just a case of unchecked and undiagnosed dementia. Not good, either way.

 

[onlything]

That was weird of him. Stupid, too. Try not to mind people like this. He may have wanted to say some kind of a backhanded joke or compliment.

 

[Kirsty]

I pick at the skin on my lips and face a lot, and I sometimes get people telling me not to do it because it might get infected... as if it were so simple.

Oh you do this too? I also pick the skin of my lips, always. My face; not so much unless there's a spot, but I pick my head more.

 

[Gritches]

That sounds super creepy. Don't let one creep deter you though, stim to heart's content if that's what you need to do.

I chew my lip and pick at the skin that peels off as a result. People tell me not to do it, that it makes me "look nervous". I am nervous, foo.

 

[Ambi]

Just recently I got a seasonal part time job selling picture frames at a mall kiosk. This is the first job I've had in a couple of years. Everything was going great until something disturbed me. I stim by twirling my hair. This morning an elderly man approached me and said "yeah! Twirl it! Twirl it!" because I was twirling my hair. I didn't think anyone would notice me doing it and the fact that the elderly man pointed it out and said "twirl it" in a creepy way was awkward. I felt humiliated. It was just super weird of him and it made me feel like a ditz. Anyone else been humiliated for stimming?

I don't think he was humiliating you for stimming behavior - even if it felt humiliating to you. I think he was just being a very weird, creepy person. Maybe his mind is going a little. Some of those elderly guys start getting uninhibited and seem like perverts. One hit my friend on her butt with an umbrella with some weird comment once. I see lots of young women twirling their hair, I don't think it's odd. At least, not if it's kept to a small motion - if you were really flipping it around like a big propeller than it would be more eye-catching. I have heard that some men think of it as flirty or alluring, though, so just be aware of that.

 

[Acorn_Elf]

I remember in elementary school, the school speech therapist made me sit on my hands in front of the class for fidgeting, which was pretty humiliating.

 

[Acorn_Elf]

No humilated, but my husband said not long ago, whilst in a shop: what on earth are you doing with your hands? I was wringing them, I guess in glee, but absolutely unaware of doing so. I felt a bit embarrassed, but what makes me even more so, is when my husband has caught me talking to myself!

My husband, although not an aspie, actually fiddles with things and it winds me up, and makes me feel uncomfortable, because well, he is sort of stimming in a way and yet, I am annoyed, so I understand why others would feel annoyed with me.

He also eats pens and I have to hide the only two I have, because I find it horribly disgusting to use a pen that he has chewed.

As for what happened to you, perhaps the man was just being friendly? But because he is the first to notice, it felt he was mocking?

I'm thinking it was an awkward dementia thing like some people mentioned. So I guess he didn't really mean anything by it, although at the time I was embarrassed and weirded out.

 

[Progster]

Oh you do this too? I also pick the skin of my lips, always. My face; not so much unless there's a spot, but I pick my head more.

Yes, and I wish I didn't. I've now got plasters over the spots where I've been picking to try to stop me from picking at them at allow them to heal.

 

[Acorn_Elf]

Hmmm. A lady approched me and told me that her mother used to slap her whenever she twirled her hair, so now she doesn't do it. She said she told me because seeing me twirl her hair reminded her of it.

 

[TheBigElectron]

These things happen. Don't take it too personally, and don't let it hit too hard.

 

[HappyHermit]

The guy should have kept his mouth shut.

My parents came down on me like a tonne of bricks for any motion that even vaguely resembled stimming. I know about suppressing stimming and feel competent to say that it isn't healthy. Suppressing it is locking the valve closed that lets you relieve a type or amount of tension that NTs apparently don't experience. Because you're not stimming that doesn't mean the reason you needed to stim is gone. The tension will build up and come out in other ways.

If you're going to live your life in a somewhat healthy manner, you need to stim. And twirling your hair is an unobtrusive variety of stim, too. NTs need to learn to deal, seriously...