Hugs

[AspieOtaku]

I understand not everyone likes hugs on the spectrum, im rare i like hugs with consent of course when im alone and sad i love them.

i do feel better and happy i love hugs. A hug is much better than a beating or being hit.

 

[AspieOtaku]

Never had many was abused for years but when i got hugs i felt some happiness. I prefer a hug over the switch or thrown into the quiet room.

 

[Martha Ferris]

I like real hugs as opposed to empty gesture hugs. I don't see the point in the empty gesture ones. I am so sorry for all the abuse you suffered.

 

[AspieOtaku]

I know other aspies hate hugs but its better than being beaten. I Dont get hugs too often when i do i flinch at first in fear but after i feel much better being higged and for once feel happy.

 

[DogzSpirit]

I agree with Martha. furthermore, Gesture hugs seem intrusive and fake.

Regarding full out hug or touch from a person I care for (not random person)... I am in my element.

My sister on the other hand/also spectrum, will back away from hugs, though she has shifted over to giving me hugs. It's a very nice shift... smile.

 

[AspieOtaku]

When me girlfriend hugged me i cried i said thank you and didnt want to let go. Im used to being beaten up and talked down on. First person to be kind to me not used to being emosionally vulnerable ir feeling affection for long time. I had an Abusive ex that beat me as well long ago.

 

[Ronin82]

I agree, REAL hugs are awesome! I too was abused/neglected and find empty hugs meaningless so my therapist had to teach me about hugs (when its appropriate, when its genuine, etc.). He's also one of the first people to hug me where I could FEEL the genuine-ness of it. I'm also a fan of deep pressure, so I love a good bear hug. Real hugs are so rare, but so wonderful! Still trying to get the hang of giving them, but I do love to receive them.

 

[Wulven]

Hugs to all. Real hugs really help. Especially after a bad dream. Waking up in a cold sweat and not quite sure if your awake or asleep. Someone hugging you helps bring you out of it. Your safe. Your okay the hug says all this.

 

[Bort]

I too like hugs (with my consent).

 

[OkRad]

I love hugs from those I trust.

 

[Thinx]

I actually do not enjoy hugs. I like space around me. I am very sorry to hear how badly you were treated, and I am glad for you that you have got away from it and can enjoy hugs. Thats great.

 

[Misery]

Never liked them, which has always presented a problem.

Family members have always been overly fond of hugging. And then there's the conventions... if you're gonna cosplay, and if people like you, expect to be asked for hugs. A lot. Like, a LOT. I could never count just how many times that happened. And yes, I generally allowed it, to be polite. I'm contradictory like that. And a bit too polite and passive.

...Also helped that I was usually REALLY jacked-up on caffeine at those events so I could tolerate things like that better.

Now the exception to all of this is my dogs... I hug them all the time. Briefly. Do that for more than about one second and the face licking begins, never liked that. Very affectionate dogs, both of them. Granted one is a total maniac, but still, affectionate.

 

[AspieOtaku]

When i get hugs from people i trust and like and those i trust and like with consent i actually feel happy.

 

[AspieOtaku]

Never liked them, which has always presented a problem.

Family members have always been overly fond of hugging. And then there's the conventions... if you're gonna cosplay, and if people like you, expect to be asked for hugs. A lot. Like, a LOT. I could never count just how many times that happened. And yes, I generally allowed it, to be polite. I'm contradictory like that. And a bit too polite and passive.

...Also helped that I was usually REALLY jacked-up on caffeine at those events so I could tolerate things like that better.

Now the exception to all of this is my dogs... I hug them all the time. Briefly. Do that for more than about one second and the face licking begins, never liked that. Very affectionate dogs, both of them. Granted one is a total maniac, but still, affectionate.

I like em more than being beaten im usesed to being beaten and punched.

 

[SusanLR]

The fake social hugs are awful. So phony.
I like to cuddle hug with someone I really like.
And I can sure relate to the waking from a bad dream needing a hug.
Got no one for that anymore. Sure wish I did at times.

 

[Aspychata]

Like to hug but not sure if the other person tolerates it. To me, a hug is my last chance to say good bye. If something happens to me or something happens to them, l feel like l connected and held them close in a protective embrace. Maybe it's conditioned thru many lifetimes, but l do it to hold onto that connect.

 

[clg114]

Hugs are something that my wife and I missed for a little over a year. We have five kids, a lot of grandkids and a few great-grandkids. That is a long time to go with out hugs from the people that you love.

 

[Fino]

That's one of the downsides of people leaving to be away for a long time. They always hug you.

 

[Soleil]

I don't understand what people mean by "fake hugs" or "empty gesture hugs". Do you mean like when people hug you when they say hello? I never liked those hello hugs; they feel very invasive, and they never ask first.

I do like hugs in general though, from friends and family, but I really like them to be tight squeezes.

 

[watersprite]

Hugs are good only if they are from a person who I feel really comfortable with. Sometimes a person feels right for a while, & then all of a sudden, doesn’t anymore and then I can’t hug them anymore.

Cats give good hugs.

& a long time ago I had a dog that liked to sit leaning against me on the couch. Always seemed as though that was his way of hugging.