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How Would my Parents React . . .

Joshua the Writer

Very Nerdy Guy, Any Pronouns
V.I.P Member
I wonder how my parents would react if I started dating another dude. Of course, due to anxiety of them finding out, I'd try to keep it secret, but I wonder how they'd really feel.

They are Christians, and they made multiple attempts to make me be the same way, the most recent of which were almost successful (I snapped out of it a couple months after). I wonder if they'd not care if I dated a guy or not. I could see my Dad not giving a crap if the person I choose to date in the future is a girl or a guy, but I think my Mom is a different story.

My Mom seems to be the more pushy one when it comes to religion (which I called her out on multiple times, but she denies). I told her multiple times that Hell doesn't exist (in fact, I believe that the real world is Hell), but she says, "you better believe it," as if that's a threat to me at all.

However, my Dad seems to assume authority more regularly, so if they were both there, my Mom would at first say that I wouldn't be allowed to, but my Dad would probably just be like, "I don't care who he dates. Just let him date whoever he chooses."

I don't know what they'd say or exactly how they'd react. For all I know, they might ask me if I like to be [DATA EXPUNGED], which could possibly be an awkward moment generated by them, and that's the best-case-scenario, or they just say that I can't continue a relationship between me and said proverbial boyfriend.

I haven't come out to them as bisexual yet, so I don't really know how they'd react beforehand based on that. I heard an external source that if your parents accept you for who you are if you come out as LGBT+ in some way, they are more likely to support you being in a "gay" relationship. However, I'm also nervous about coming out.

All I can do is wish for the best, I guess.
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You should have a talk with them about it but only if you ever get a BF.
I guess you're right. They'd hesitate to say that I am not allowed to date another guy if I am already doing so. Especially if they see I'm happy with my decision.
I guess you're right. They'd hesitate to say that I am not allowed to date another guy if I am already doing so. Especially if they see I'm happy with my decision.
I think most of us here (including you) have said it at one time or another: BE YOURSELF!!
You can be Christian and still not buy into that particular prejudice.

My guess is that your mom would be hysterical for some period of time, they'd talk to you about it, and if their talk "fails," they'd pray, and maybe give you resources they feel would be helpful.

That's a common set of reactions anyway. I know because I've watched people I've dated go through it.
My mom is the same way, I don't know how she'd react if she knew things weren't so straightforward for me.
I could infer from how she reacts/talks about the topic, but I still feel like I have no clue given that I'm her child. I don't think we're going to know exactly until it happens.

Sounds like your dad could be sort of a buffer. I know that my step dad wouldn't care, but he has zero influence. It would be me v.s two women and some sort of meltdown of theirs. But I wonder just how much our parent's views can evolve, considering the child they've been around this whole time was like that, and everything was fine. Good luck to you.
Maybe talk to them about gay relationships in a more general sense to feel out their reactions? Like mentioning a gay celebrity or that a "friend" is bi and considering dating another guy...
Just start bringing over guy friends period. At some point in time, they might put the connection together and accept it. Maybe a year later, but the point is , show them how happy you are hanging out with said guy. It will help you also and you will find out - yes l really like this or that.
I'm not religious although I do usually attend church. I subscribe to the point of view of a wise man who said that hell is merely the absence of God.

I saw an interview of Billy Graham, a famous American evangelist, long ago. The interviewer was trying to provoke him into saying something negative about homosexuality. Graham simply answered that the Bible identifies many sins but does not rank them. No one sin is worse than any other sins, and all sins are abhorrent to God and all sins can be forgiven by God. If someone believes that the 10 Commandments are the 10 worse sins, then homosexuality is conspicuously missing from the list.

Just live your life as is best for you. As a parent, I really don't think my children's sex lives are my business any more than my sex life is their business. Everyone is entitled to privacy.

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