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How to tell if an Aspie guy loves you?

Aryana

Well-Known Member
I have been friends with this guy for over 3 years and now we have become intimate. He's never had a real relationship before. He stays over Saturday nights . He is close with my kids however he still keeps what's going on with us private. How do I know if this is just about sex or he has feelings for me?
 

marc_101

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
Ask him.

But before that, figure out what you want from the relationship too so you can explain what you want/need.
 

Kalinychta

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
If he’s not truthful, there’s a whole other issue for OP to ask us about.
Yeah, in about a year when she finally realizes he wasn’t truthful.

I take it the boyfriend is reserved, doesn’t show his feelings? You (OP) might need a can opener to get into his mind. Maybe just give it some time?
 

Rodafina

Hopefully Human
Staff member
V.I.P Member
Maybe just give it some time?
If I recall correctly, this issue has been already going on for almost a year. @Aryana first posted about it last March.

 

Aryana

Well-Known Member
If I recall correctly, this issue has been already going on for almost a year. @Aryana first posted about it last March.

Yes but we were just friends now we are intimate with each other so it has progressed
 

Aryana

Well-Known Member
If I recall correctly, this issue has been already going on for almost a year. @Aryana first posted about it last March.

Yes but we were just friends now we are intimate with each other
Yes but we were just friends now we are intimate with each other so it has progressed
Also I will add he is very truthful. But I am too afraid to ask maybe I should have written the question as if if you are in love with somebody how do you show them?
 

Kalinychta

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
Also I will add he is very truthful. But I am too afraid to ask maybe I should have written the question as if if you are in love with somebody how do you show them?
Do you feel like he loves you? You’ve known him for three years—have you noticed in that time how he shows affection? Does he spend time with you just to hang out?
 

Aryana

Well-Known Member
Do you feel like he loves you? You’ve known him for three years—have you noticed in that time how he shows affection? Does he spend time with you just to hang out?
I definitely feel he loves me. He has changed so much. The way he hugs me says it to me! He gives me massages and wants to make sure that it feels good to me .
 

Kalinychta

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
I definitely feel he loves me. He has changed so much. The way he hugs me says it to me! He gives me massages and wants to make sure that it feels good to me .
So is this more about you wanting him to say he loves you because it would feel good to hear him say it?
 

Rodafina

Hopefully Human
Staff member
V.I.P Member
Yes I guess it would make me certain of his feelings...
You sounded pretty certain when you said this:
I definitely feel he loves me.



Not trying to criticize you, just wondering if you are seeking answers that you already have.

I wonder if this is an issue of finding internal validation vs. external validation. Maybe you are actually getting external validation, but it is your insecure inner voice that makes you question your guy's feelings, and actions. You definitely feel he loves you, so where did this post question come from?
 
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Aryana

Well-Known Member
You sounded pretty certain when you said this:




Not trying to criticize you, just wondering if you are seeking answers that you already have.

I wonder if this is an issue of finding internal validation vs. external validation. Maybe you are actually getting external validation, but it is your insecure inner voice that makes you question your guy's feelings, and actions. You definitely feel he loves you, so where did this post question come from?
I guess in a way it is my own internal insecurities how are there are things that he does that I truly believe he loves me but then there are things that he doesn't do that makes me question. Does this make sense to you?
 

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