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How to Become Fluent in Body Language

Alexej

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
For what its worth and general interest only

https://www.meetup.com/blog/how-to-become-fluent-in-body-language/

quote
After so much time on Zoom, some people are experiencing a shift in their communication abilities when returning to offices, schools, and social events. The Zoom landscape has its own digital etiquette and social strategies, but this doesn’t always translate well to in-person connection.

One of the main differences between virtual and in-person communication is that the latter is more affected by body language. That term gets thrown around a lot, but it’s rare for people to dive into exactly what body language is, why it matters, how to be aware of your own body language, and how to become fluent in body language signals that other people send you.

Body language is the kind of communicating you do without words. Whether you mean to or not, when you’re talking with someone, you’re also sending out nonverbal cues that they can read. In the best cases, your body language is in lockstep with the words you’re speaking—this gives the listener a sense of trust and clarity. When your body language is at odds with what you’re speaking or with the situation in general, that can create confusion and tension.

Even when you’re not speaking, you’re still communicating nonverbally. Some people experience social anxiety because they’re worried about sending out the wrong signals. But you can rest easy with this simple guide to body language that’s good for any occasion.

Tips for improving nonverbal communication
When you’re trying to be proactive about creating positive body language, a series of minor adjustments can add up to a major difference. Take a look at some seemingly small considerations that are actually a big deal.

Eye contact
This may be the most influential aspect of body language, because the visual sense is often more dominant than other sensory details, and the eyes are so expressive. Eye contact requires a subtle approach—some people say you should always make eye contact with the person speaking to you, but prolonged eye contact can be unsettling. Instead, try to make eye contact every so often throughout a conversation: not too much, not too little. It’s a sign of respect and interest.

When you’re in a group, try making occasional eye contact with the people who aren’t speaking, too. This conveys that you notice their presence and want them to feel included.

How to read eye contact: If you’re speaking with someone and they’re making very little eye contact, they probably don’t feel very comfortable. Their discomfort may have nothing to do with you at all, but it’s still better to end the conversation politely and move on.

group-chatting_body-language-1120x630.jpg

Space
The way you interact with the space around you (and other people’s personal space) speaks volumes. If you’ve ever interacted with someone who was standing too close to you, hovering, or otherwise invading your personal space, you know how important this kind of nonverbal cue can be.

When making conversation with people you’ve just met, position yourself at a respectable distance that communicates interest without being over-familiar. As a general rule of thumb, you should be standing at a distance where you could comfortably shake hands with the person across from you (about two to three feet apart).

How to read space: If somebody sets a certain distance from you at the start of a conversation, don’t try to close the gap. Mirroring their relationship to the space between you is always a good idea.

Speaking and listening gestures
This is a broad category with many different considerations, including:

  • Tone of voice — It’s not just what you say, but how you say it. A flat tone can indicate boredom, a quiet voice could point to shyness, while a clear tone with good pace and inflections can convey confidence and enjoyment.
  • Nodding and “listening sounds” — A simple nod of the head while somebody is speaking demonstrates your engagement. Same goes for peppering in a few “listening sounds” like “uh-huh,” “ahh,” and “mmm.” The principle of not overdoing it goes for all of these cues—and try not to fixate on them! Actually listening is the best way to be a good conversation partner.
  • Hand gestures — When people are animated in their conversations, they usually start to use hand gestures to emphasize their words, often without even realizing what they’re doing. These gestures can be hard to describe, so it’s better to learn from seeing them in action. Overall, though, open palms are a sign that you’re relaxed.
How to read speaking and listening gestures: If the person you’re speaking to is gesturing a lot, nodding in agreement, and speaking loud and clear, they’re probably feeling good about the conversation. If they’re more stiff, less animated, and less engaged while you’re talking, you can tell them it was nice to meet them, thank them for chatting, and move on.

Get out there and give it a try
As with any skill, practice is the only way to get more comfortable and improve your body language awareness. Fortunately, all you need to practice body language is a group of people to gather with and chat.

It doesn’t have to feel like work—make your body language practice a fun experience by incorporating it into a Meetup event that interests you! You can improve your nonverbal communication while going on a walking tour of your city, networking with professionals in your industry, playing Dungeons and Dragons, learning how to code, and so much more.
 
We might like to think it, but people will never be fluent in body language. Akin to verbal communication there are nearly as many languages and nuances in nonverbal communication.

It differs by state, country, and culture. Just as there are dialects of sign and common verbal languages.
 
Something else immensely useful - work with horses. They will teach you all about body language, and then you can apply that skill elsewhere. Yes, horses have different body language to humans, but they learn to read ours and we to read theirs, and what you learn is really useful and applicable everywhere you go. Sort of like learning a different language also makes you better at your first language, and gives you all sorts of meta benefits! :)



 
Any species of animal actually. Cats really do know who doesn't like them or are allergic. Love cats, oh, how they will break your heart. :D

Kids are great teachers, too. They don't judge us on our snaffus and can teach one a thing or two about honest communication. Consider the difference you see when you get down on their level.
 
We might like to think it, but people will never be fluent in body language. Akin to verbal communication there are nearly as many languages and nuances in nonverbal communication.

It differs by state, country, and culture. Just as there are dialects of sign and common verbal languages.

I take your point - however, we generally consider people fluent speakers of a language even if they don't know every single world in the dictionary - but enough to be able to communicate well! :)
 
I take your point - however, we generally consider people fluent speakers of a language even if they don't know every single world in the dictionary - but enough to be able to communicate well! :)

There is a new picture book I read the other day entitled Gibberish by Young Vo. A little boy who doesn't speak english starts school and relies on non-verbal communication to fudge his way through the day. Another child sees him struggling and reaches out. No one says anything, but they understand the language of play. It is one of those books that really make you think about the concept of language, verbal and non.
 
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Any species of animal actually.

I am having serious trouble with springtails. They just seem to leap about. Maybe I need a microscope! ;)


Kids are great teachers, too. They don't judge us on our snaffus and can teach one a thing or two about honest communication. Consider the difference you see when you get down on their level.

Yeah, which is why I like the saying that adults can cast off the childish, but should hold on to the childlike! :)
 
Springtails aka Snowfleas?

That's what they are called here.
They eat decayed leaves.

Here they are most noticeable in very early spring
when the snow is melting. Sometimes it looks like
somebody peppered the snow.
 
Probably your snowfleas are the same class as our springtails - class Collembola. :)

And that's such a cute name for them.

West Australian springtails...BYO magnifying glass...

primitive-insect-tathra-llf-968-web-copy.jpg


And isn't this member of that class cute?

Katianna%20sp%20hobart.jpg


Makes you want to shrink yourself down in size temporarily and go wandering amongst the leaf litter... :)
 
Did you know trees communicate using mycelium networks to communicate with each other? Loved The Hidden Life of Trees.
 
OMG, another one for the reading pile, @Darkkin! ...similar material about mycelia etc covered in Merlin Sheldrake's Entangled Life, which I'm partway through at the moment. :)

Body language is one thing...and now for chemical communication...which we do as well...
 
Probably your snowfleas are the same class as our springtails - class Collembola. :)

And that's such a cute name for them.

West Australian springtails...BYO magnifying glass...

primitive-insect-tathra-llf-968-web-copy.jpg


And isn't this member of that class cute?

Katianna%20sp%20hobart.jpg


Makes you want to shrink yourself down in size temporarily and go wandering amongst the leaf litter... :)
What Are Snow Fleas and Why Should You Be Happy to See Them in Michigan?
Video of them on snow in the link above.

They're Hee-e-re! Invasion of the Michigan Snow Fleas
upload_2022-5-17_22-0-23.png


Commonly known as “snow fleas” these speck-like critters are not true fleas; they belong to a primitive group of insects known as springtails in the order Collembola. Springtails are among the most abundant of all soil-dwelling arthropods.

Uniquely adapted to survival in cold temperatures, they are able to synthetize an anti-freeze like protein that allows them to function in sub-zero temperatures. Their flea-like common name is derived from their ability jump using a spring-like appendage called a furcula to propel themselves into the air.
The winter season highlights snow fleas
 
Has anyone else ever been chased by a chicken? I don't know what I said, but I certainly ruffled some feathers. (Ducks...runs)
 
Has anyone else ever been chased by a chicken? I don't know what I said, but I certainly ruffled some feathers. (Ducks...runs)

Yes. When I was a kid, I got chased by a hyper-aggressive rooster.

If you run away, they chase you harder. Stop and face, and they won't be so cocky. Real and metaphorical chickens! :)
 
I have also been chased by roosters. Lol. There was one at a farm I worked on that they called "Birdzilla." I think he was a Jersey Giant. Those things are scary, when you're a teenager who is too short for the amusement park rides!
 
Since my return to the office after working from home since November I've noticed I'm doing a lot better socially. Chatting to people more, speaking with people I never really cared to speak to before.

Ed
 
Commonly known as “snow fleas” these speck-like critters are not true fleas; they belong to a primitive group of insects known as springtails in the order Collembola. Springtails are among the most abundant of all soil-dwelling arthropods.

Hey @tree, did you see the lumper vs splitter taxonomic debate about the Collembola? They used to be Class Insecta, Order Collembola - but now the splitters have taken them out of Class Insecta and assigned them their own class. I'm not sure where they're at with this one, but it doesn't particularly bother me one way or the other.

On the other hand, my husband was outraged when Pluto was demoted from the "planet" classification (to "dwarf planet"). And I guess I still stick with the lumpers about various Eucalyptus species that the splitters officially designated Corymbia. (Creaky voice: "When I were a lass, we called this Eucalyptus calophylla and that's good enough for me!" ;))

PS- nice taxonomy mnemonic for anyone who wants to remember "Kingdom, phylum, class, order, family, genus, species"...kids playing cricket on freeways get squashed!
 
Has anyone else ever been chased by a chicken?

No, but I was chased, assaulted and beaten by a vicious swan. :) That swan wanted me dead, there was no mistaking the body language. Sure they look all innocent and pretty but when they get angry they are ruthless. I was pecked and winged and trampled.

:eek:
swan.jpg
 
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Makes you want to shrink yourself down in size temporarily and go wandering amongst the leaf litter... :)

Uggh - what a thought! I have enough problems working out the goodies and baddies in this world and learning another set of good guys and bad guys sounds like too much work for me.

Interesting about the springtails though - and I have never heard of snowfleas. I have seen sandfleas through and I suspect its the same but slightly different.
 
No, but I was chased, assaulted and beaten by a vicious swan. :) That swan wanted me dead, there was no mistaking the body language. Sure they look all innocent and pretty but when they get angry they are ruthless. I was pecked and winged and trampled.

:eek: View attachment 79195
Swans are mean! I’ve been attacked by them too.
I thought they were cute and tried to feed them, and I definitely made a mistake :confused:
 

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