How honest are you?

[Mr Allen]

Above.

Today I went on a Tram with a carer to the Cinema, I showed my pass but forgot to ask to pay for the carer's Tram ticket and the conductor assumed I have plus 1 on my pass for carers, I don't get high enough benefit for that (blame the UK government), but I didn't say anything and told her not to either so we got away with it.

Anyway coming back we had the same issue, but this time I paid for a single ticket for the carer as she drives so she would be driving home after the call, she just can't drive during the call because she doesn't have Business insurance to have me or other clients as a Passenger.

So anyway, what would you have done in this situation?

 

[DCA]

I probably would have been upfront & paid both ways (assuming I could of course!). I'm so honest that once at work I made a mistake with my timecard, corrected it, & lost out on holiday pay because of it, in a situation everyone else said I should just ignore it (including one of my managers!). That time I got penalized for my honesty...

 

[Mr Allen]

I probably would have been upfront & paid both ways (assuming I could of course!). I'm so honest that once at work I made a mistake with my timecard, corrected it, & lost out on holiday pay because of it, in a situation everyone else said I should just ignore it (including one of my managers!). That time I got penalized for my honesty...

Yeah. and if I'd been honest on the outward journey it would've cost me 4 quid for a Day Rider ticket on the Tram!

 

[clg114]

I want to be honest and always am if I notice a discrepancy. I have a habit of knowing how much change that I have coming when I purchase something. If it is wrong, ether way, I will let them know. I am not sure why I always calculate the amount of change that I have coming. It is just one of my Aspie ways, I guess.

 

[Bolletje]

I’m very honest. I get anxious when I’m not. I’m perfectly capable of lying and stealing, I just feel terrible afterwards, so I don’t do it.

 

[Sherlock77]

Does this answer your question? One story of mine from a construction a job a few years ago

I was walking up one of the internal stairs of the site, a two story building... I saw an envelope stuffed with $20 bills, lots of them! I immediately picked it up and took it to our site superintendent, it wasn't mine so I wasn't going to keep it, I could have used that much money but I would feel like crap, like I stole it...

End of the story, the superintendent found who the money belonged to, commented to me that he was amazed at what I did, that most people would have taken it home... And as I recall it was almost $1,000

I never got a reward but that didn't matter, it would have been nice, still wouldn't change what I did...

Is honesty an Aspie trait? perhaps, and I've heard it suggested before... I also grew up in a strong Christian home so had good strong morals modeled to me as I grew up... I think it also part of the reason why I tend to honest, at least try to as best as I can...

 

[pjcnet]

Too honest and also too helpful, it hasn't done me any favours in life and I've been used plus abused numerous times. It's very sad that the ruthless and often unpleasant selfish people who only care about themselves and don't care what they have to do in order to gain even at other people's expense are more often the ones that make it further in life, while honest decent people are often dumped on.

 

[OlLiE]

i'm the kind of guy who waits at a red light at a pedestrian crossing on a deserted road, i kind of just prefer to stick to the rules

 

[Adora]

I’m pretty honest,my husband always tells me how honest I am but I would never intentionally hurt someone and can still be polite but I have had moments in the past where I have unintentionally been rude and even had a teacher get angry at me and from that day forward she use to correct how I spoke.

 

[SusanLR]

Do you honestly expect me to answer that?
Fridgemagnetman, where are you? I need your help!


Honestly, I'm just so matter of fact that I tell it like it is.

 

[Progster]

I've never told a single lie in my life.

That, of course, is a lie I have lied on occasion in the past to protect myself from some unpleasant consequence, but afterward I felt poorly about it - it just isn't in my nature to lie and it doesn't come naturally to me - I can't lie convincingly. I believe that, unless it is a matter of survival or putting myself or someone else in great danger, one should always tell the truth.

In the situation described by the OP, I would have paid the ticket. It's the correct thing to do.

However, I am struck by his admission on the forum that he had done this: most people don't talk about, or are not honest about their dishonesty.

I remember a situation a few years back in which I was asked to lie on behalf of another person, Y. They told me: "if x asks you whether I was here, tell them that I wasn't" or something like that. Then x did ask me, but I told the truth. Then Y was really angry with me, and asked me why I said that. But I couldn't lie about it and anyway she had really no right to put me in that situation in the first place, it was her mistake to involve me when it was really none of my business! This was a learning experience - now I don't get involved and I tell people that I'm not going to lie for them and ask them not to put me in that position.

 

[Progster]

I think that for me, lying is a more weighty thing than it is for other people... I would only ever lie if it were absolutely necessary and it's not something to be taken lightly, because once you lie and the other realises that you are lying, you lose trust and respect. But some people seem to be very flippant about lying and treat it like it's no big deal, which I cannot.

 

[sidd851]

I've never told a single lie in my life.

That, of course, is a lie I have lied on occasion in the past to protect myself from some unpleasant consequence, but afterward I felt poorly about it - it just isn't in my nature to lie and it doesn't come naturally to me - I can't lie convincingly. I believe that, unless it is a matter of survival or putting myself or someone else in great danger, one should always tell the truth.

In the situation described by the OP, I would have paid the ticket. It's the correct thing to do.

However, I am struck by his admission on the forum that he had done this: most people don't talk about, or are not honest about their dishonesty.

I remember a situation a few years back in which I was asked to lie on behalf of another person, Y. They told me: "if x asks you whether I was here, tell them that I wasn't" or something like that. Then x did ask me, but I told the truth. Then Y was really angry with me, and asked me why I said that. But I couldn't lie about it and anyway she had really no right to put me in that situation in the first place, it was her mistake to involve me when it was really none of my business! This was a learning experience - now I don't get involved and I tell people that I'm not going to lie for them and ask them not to put me in that position.

I can, if pressed, lie so convincingly that it is usually not even questioned.
I also, however, feel the "weight" that you do, the revulsion of "untruth".

"If one never lies, one never has to remember anything."
--Samuel Clemens

 

[Nihil]

I keep a bunch of family stuff secret and I have to pretend like everything is fine. Other than that, I'm pretty honest.

 

[Sophia D]

I'm mostly honest about things, sometimes in the past I lied about things and they eventually catch up with you, especially with people you have regular contact with. With the odd stranger and with no weight it's no problem as long as it is beneficial to you, again you have to weigh up the conscience.

 

[Snotcat]

I'm honest with my friends and people i meet but it usually doesn't feel bad to break the rules or laws. For example if i find money i would probably keep it since I'm poor and i can steal without feeling bad but i don't do it cause i don't wanna get caught. But if i play a boardgame or a card game i never cheat and i demand that we play strictly by the rules like who gets to pick up a card first of something.

 

[Peter Morrison]

It is best to be honest, and it is easier to be honest. Knowingly accepting more change than is due is dishonest. If you can identify the owner of your ill-gotten gains, return the item immediately. We all remember when others tracked us down for overpayment or a loss of something. It's just good karma. An extra $10 will not change your life, so give it up if it's not yours. Mistakes happen in both direction. Be the good person - no regrets.

 

[Isadoorian]

I'm fairly honest when I need to be

 

[Joel's Hear]

I'm very honest but without doubt I would've accepted the free fare.

 

[Nervous Rex]

Today I went on a Tram with a carer to the Cinema, I showed my pass but forgot to ask to pay for the carer's Tram ticket and the conductor assumed I have plus 1 on my pass for carers, I don't get high enough benefit for that (blame the UK government), but I didn't say anything and told her not to either so we got away with it.

So anyway, what would you have done in this situation?

It's hard to know how to act the first time into any situation. I have flubbed a lot of similar situations. I wouldn't fault you at all - welcome to the human race. After such situations, I think about them and try to figure out what I should have done, and then try to do better the next time. It sounds like you did the same thing.

I try to be as honest as possible. Most of the time, it really surprises people. We have returned to a store to pay for something that we noticed that we didn't get charged for, or offered to pay for something that was delivered to us by mistake (like an extra pizza with our order). Sometimes they say not to worry about it, but sometimes the cashier is very grateful because they would have been charged for the loss.

I also try to make sure people get credit for their work when I am thanked for a project, or when I see someone else doing good work and not blowing their own horn. I believe it's dishonest to withhold a compliment when one is due.

I've also had to learn the difference between being honest and being open. I can deal honestly with people without spontaneously telling them about my ASD or other issues. Some things are need-to-know only.