How do you deal with trauma?

[onlything]

This topic may turn out quite sensitive, so please be careful and set up limits for yourself, so that you wouldn't get triggered.

Christmas Eve 2018 was a day when something quite traumatic happened to me. Needless to say, it was the kind of thing that just doesn't let go and it seems like my normal coping mechanisms aren't working too well or even at all. I suppose it may be because the event itself stepped on the layer of similar leftover childhood events that I still have problems processing and started an emotional avalanche so to speak. So, enough to say that it seems like it keeps encroaching on other thoughts and dreams and doesn't want to let go, only getting worse.

Maybe you know of something I don't that would relive it a bit. How do you deal with trauma? What kind of coping mechanism do you have?

 

[china autie]

I don't much care for therapy but trauma-specific counseling helped me.

Understand that it takes time to heal.

Don't be in a rush to "forgive" the person, people, agency etc involved. Rushing into 'forgiveness' leads to re-victimization.

Take time for you. If you need to sleep more, than do so.

Endeavor to maintain a somewhat healthy diet and exercise routine. Walking or stretching in bed counts. Do what you can.

People may say unfeeling things to you. "You've given me something to think about " is useful in averting a painful conversation.

Stim. Stimming helps us and may prevent meltdowns if we do it as we are safely able to.

Don't drink or use drugs to excess. You do not want to wind up having to deal with an addiction problem later.

If you are having flashbacks [reliving the event], do not fight them. They will burn out as you heal.

If you start having a flashback in an unsafebplace, cross your arms and your legs. Say "not now." Let the flashback resume when you are in a safe place.

Change your furniture around. Get an alarm. Do whatever you need to do in order to feel comfortable in your home.

Above all, take care of YOU.

Some tips are useful. Some aren't. Take what you need and leave the rest.

Yeah, lots of trauma. These tips came from my personal experiences.

 

[Pats]

There have been things that I thought I was way more emotional over than I should be or that upset me way more than it should, then later learned it was the PTSD. Anything close to resembling the events will throw me into days or weeks of emotional upheaval.

 

[Shamar]

This topic may turn out quite sensitive, so please be careful and set up limits for yourself, so that you wouldn't get triggered.

Christmas Eve 2018 was a day when something quite traumatic happened to me. Needless to say, it was the kind of thing that just doesn't let go and it seems like my normal coping mechanisms aren't working too well or even at all. I suppose it may be because the event itself stepped on the layer of similar leftover childhood events that I still have problems processing and started an emotional avalanche so to speak. So, enough to say that it seems like it keeps encroaching on other thoughts and dreams and doesn't want to let go, only getting worse.

Maybe you know of something I don't that would relive it a bit. How do you deal with trauma? What kind of coping mechanism do you have?

I had several traumatic events early in my life. Memories of these would frequently intrude into my thoughts at inopportune times, and I would be forced to relive them, although with much less intensity. It was only during my autism diagnosis at age 60 I learned that PTSD applied to me.
In short, I just lived with it for 50 years, thinking this was normal and nothing could be done. I underwent something called EMDR therapy. It was helpful. I have control of the memories now. They don't intrude, but I can call them up if I desire, and are much less intense. It may not work like this for everyone, but I suggest you look into it. I agree with others that you need to put a little more time to let it fade a bit.

 

[Mia]

Talking to someone close to you, if that's possible, helps.

When something traumatic happened, I slept on a platform in a tree near a stream for three days. Waking up every morning to the sun and the sound of birds and creatures in the woods. Walked out of the woods, a changed person.

After something else happened, I went on a long trip to a place I'd never been, by myself for a month, doing things I had always wanted to do and see.

Considering some past occurrences I have done things afterwards that were extreme. And the fear and excitement that it engendered at the time, rock climbing, diving from cliffs, being in a boat during a terrible storm, going on a roller coaster, driving fast, made me happy to be alive. Sometimes, coming that close to danger, changes your mindset. And you realize how fortunate you are to be alive.

Not something I would recommend for everyone, taking those kinds of risks. Although it's works for me.

 

[BrokenBoy]

Take meds and try not to think about it.

 

[Nihil]

I engage myself in my interests. That's how I deal with most things. It works for me.

 

[Mary Lyn]

Taking meds and trying not to think about it is the worse thing you can do.

It is going to take time and a trauma counsellor is useful. I am going through the same thing and looking for help. My biggest trauma happend when i was 6 months old and put in hospital with mercury poisoning. I am looking at neurofeedback to reset my brain.

 

[LadyBird84]

I don't know if you have the option of going to therapy, but if you do I think it would be a good idea.

I've personally had schema therapy and that really worked for me. (But this was before I was diagnosed so I'm not sure if there is a contraindication for autism. I had it in a group but that's not necessary per se.)

 

[onlything]

I don't know if you have the option of going to therapy, but if you do I think it would be a good idea.

I've personally had schema therapy and that really worked for me. (But this was before I was diagnosed so I'm not sure if there is a contraindication for autism. I had it in a group but that's not necessary per se.)

I have gone to a therapy before but it didn't work for me, so I'm taking a break from all counsellors and therapists for now. When you go to the therapy, you need to find in yourself some semblance of trust towards your counsellor/therapist, a belief that they will use their knowledge only to help you, not to hurt you more. This kind of belief is not possible for me at the moment.

That's why I'm looking for new self-help tips, something that would enable me to calm down and heal a bit until I'm ready for the next step.

Talking to someone close to you, if that's possible, helps.

It's not really possible for me right now. The trauma was caused by one such a person and whenever it happens I become somewhat paranoid and highly suspicious especially of those that are close to me or try to become close to me.

Maybe it's quite foolish that I still stop being like that and trust people enough to let them in after so many instances, maybe it's just not worth all the hurt... but if you don't have who to live for, what are you living for, really? Such a cynical thinking just doesn't help. Or maybe I'm just too weak to stay away, to remember that people aren't to be trusted.

I prefer to think that I was just unlucky in a way - but maybe it's naivety speaking and if so, I hope I get rid of it one day.

 

[tducey]

Def talk to a close friend, family member or a therapist. Hope you get better soon.

 

[Shamar]

I have gone to a therapy before but it didn't work for me, so I'm taking a break from all counsellors and therapists for now. When you go to the therapy, you need to find in yourself some semblance of trust towards your counsellor/therapist, a belief that they will use their knowledge only to help you, not to hurt you more.

I have gone to at least a dozen counselors, only one of whom actually helped. None picked up on my autism, ADD, or PTSD.

Maybe it's quite foolish that I still stop being like that and trust people enough to let them in after so many instances, maybe it's just not worth all the hurt... but if you don't have who to live for, what are you living for, really? Such a cynical thinking just doesn't help. Or maybe I'm just too weak to stay away, to remember that people aren't to be trusted.

I have said this several times in various ways, but it bears repeating. The pain of loneliness is powerful, and it can make false friendship seem worth the future pain. Until that pain occurs, then it becomes the depths of betrayal, and suddenly that illusion of friendship is gone. You realize that the false friendship was not worth it, until that loneliness sinks in and the illusory friendship becomes appealing again.

Just remember, most of us have been through this, often multiple times. We know what you are going through because most of us have experienced it.

We are here for you.

 

[LadyBird84]

I have gone to a therapy before but it didn't work for me, so I'm taking a break from all counsellors and therapists for now. When you go to the therapy, you need to find in yourself some semblance of trust towards your counsellor/therapist, a belief that they will use their knowledge only to help you, not to hurt you more. This kind of belief is not possible for me at the moment.

That's why I'm looking for new self-help tips, something that would enable me to calm down and heal a bit until I'm ready for the next step.

I understand losing faith in therapy. A lot actually.

In that case I hope you have someone you trust that you can talk to. If you feel like you can't (online or offline), any way you can express yourself is good: writing, art.. I dunno. There are probably other ways.

If there are little things that trigger flashbacks or feelings from that situation, unfortunately the only way I've found for that to stop is to seek them out until eventually (after many many times) the association is lost.

I don't know if the situation you were in when it happened is something that you can avoid at all. If you can, maybe wait until you feel strong enough to go back or go with someone you trust the first time.

(The coping mechanisms I used I wouldn't recommend as they kind of became problems in themselves.)

Good luck.

 

[Tom]

I don't really know anything about how professionals address it, but I suppose they must have a lot of corporate knowledge so to speak on best methods, etc. So if it is growing like a little monster into a big one perhaps seeing a shrink/therapist can help. I doubt there is anything that will take it all away but as you mention, anything that might relieve the pressure a bit would be helpful.

The only thing I think from personnal experiences was that it was best to face things and try and work it out rather then suppress them. Again, its not curative so much as a step needed to allow some healing to occur over time.

 

[RachelN]

I say therapy and trauma therapy. I am trying EDMR soon which I hear good things about. Granted, I am nervous about it, but maybe it would be helpful?

 

[Shamar]

I say therapy and trauma therapy. I am trying EDMR soon which I hear good things about. Granted, I am nervous about it, but maybe it would be helpful?

I can give you no guarantees, but it helped me quite a bit. I expect it will work better for some and not at all for others.

 

[Ylva]

Don't know if it works with your specific type of trauma, but what I do with my traumatic memories (though no longer as fresh as last Christmas):

* I tell myself it's not awful, but highly survivable and easy to overcome. This type of rephrasing can work magic.
* I program my mind to replace the recurring memory with a white screen every time it comes up.
* I do meditations and breathing exercises.

Hope you find the way that works for you.

 

[UberScout]

When it first hits me, in any form, for the moment I realize how horrible it is.

Then, if it IS a traumatic experience, it becomes a scar. And I Remember it forever. I will take all my traumas with me to the grave.

I was attacked by another patient in Cherry hospital. I did nothing at all to provoke him. Then I was the one who got written up. My doctor, who happened to be Indian (not that I have a problem with that), mistook me for the one who started the fight. I will never forgive them for what they did. There's more to it, but I won't get into it.

I spent three years of my life being a slave to my aunt, being bullied at school, and being forced to put up with it all, and show no emotion.

The trauma is that this evil, cynical, pointless world continues to lash at me, cut me deeper than a knife, and still expects me to be a robot through it all.

To be honest, I'm surprised I haven't gone through with killing myself yet.

But I don't think it's worth another trip to the behavioral hospital. Actually, I KNOW it isn't. Those places are not hospitals. They are prisons in disguise.