How do I get a girlfriend

[Miranda A]

I am a bisexual female and I would like a girlfriend. The problem is interpreting signals that another girl would want to date me is hard enough without Aspergers. I am wondering what is a good way to know if a girl would want to date me without crossing over any lines which I am constantly afraid of doing.

(Btw I live in California so there's no danger of anything but social embarrassment)

 

[CentralBank]

Try online dating.

 

[trustwaves]

Yeah I'd recommend online dating too, at least then you can get to know them without face to face socialising until you're ready

 

[Mr Allen]

Be VERY wary of online dating profiles, not everybody online on them is who they say they are... Some are kids posing as 30 somethings for instance.

Tinder is good, even I've had a few matches on there and I'm English.

 

[tree]

@Miranda A

This is a link to many articles on the topic of same sex dating.

How To Be A Girl Who Dates Girls: Your Syllabus For Lesbian Dating 101

The tone of many of them is humor and somewhat cynical.
Others are more informative.
==========

If you have already dated boys, possibly reviewing those experiences
could lend insight in how to approach dating girls.

 

[Tom]

Well in the old days, one way was to buy the Charles Atlas body building program (you could find them in the back of comic books) and then go to the beach and kick sand in the faces of the other weaklings. Then girls would flock to you.

 

[Mary Anne]

I could never interrpret the signals from women that wanted to date me either. I can look back to highs school ((early 1970s)/and see so many females that wanted something more then just friendship, but the subtleties eluded me. Even to this day, I would not mind having a girlfriend, but it is completely a different nuance. I have had quite a few bisexual encounters back i. The days when I was drinking heavily. Now, I just have no clue how to approach relationships of any kind.

 

[Shiznown]

Goto okcupid, more than half the women there are looking for women. Most are couples that want an extra woman involved. Dating sites are so terrible for guys, except for me. They're fantastic, except all the women that talk to me are in The Philippines. I'm thinking of seeing if there are any Filipino communities close by.

 

[RetiredDinner]

Goto okcupid, more than half the women there are looking for women. Most are couples that want an extra woman involved. Dating sites are so terrible for guys, except for me. They're fantastic, except all the women that talk to me are in The Philippines. I'm thinking of seeing if there are any Filipino communities close by.

[1] [2]
Not trying to discourage you, nor am I trying to generalize Filipino women and/or man, but you should watch out with the large amount of Filipino people approaching you on dating sites. Some might be just trying to get a green card *shrug*

 

[Shiznown]

[1] [2]
Not trying to discourage you, nor am I trying to generalize Filipino women and/or man, but you should watch out with the large amount of Filipino people approaching you on dating sites. Some might be just trying to get a green card *shrug*

They still have to have initial attraction to message me first and I've talked to others that don't want to date because I'm fall but tell me they are attracted to me and it's not in the you're a good friend attraction either. Women in Brazil, it's the same thing. They all tell me I'm manly looking. Sadly too many women in the US want Justin Biebers. I do love asian women though, hence why I'm going to seek out asian communities close.

 

[Mary Anne]

I have to say that the Phillipines are in tremendous poverty.They have some of the largest homeless ghettos on the planet. Filipino women are all over the Internet friending and teasing the male prison population, homeless, those with mental illness, and every lonely male out there on Facebook. It used to break my heart seeing the way these men (I have worked with all these populations) thought they had real true romantic relationships. Each guy would have 400 to 700 Filipino female friends all viewing for their attentions off of Facebook. These men would show me their Facebook conversations (I did not ask to see them) and want me to read howmall these women wanted them.

It’s sad that men believe these women are truly genuine, and care for them. The women are seeking a way to America, and a better life. They utilize all kinds of tricks to engage.

 

[Shiznown]

I have to say that the Phillipines are in tremendous poverty.They have some of the largest homeless ghettos on the planet. Filipino women are all over the Internet friending and teasing the male prison population, homeless, those with mental illness, and every lonely male out there on Facebook. It used to break my heart seeing the way these men (I have worked with all these populations) thought they had real true romantic relationships. Each guy would have 400 to 700 Filipino female friends all viewing for their attentions off of Facebook. These men would show me their Facebook conversations (I did not ask to see them) and want me to read howmall these women wanted them.

It’s sad that men believe these women are truly genuine, and care for them. The women are seeking a way to America, and a better life. They utilize all kinds of tricks to engage.

Well thanks for the insult.

 

[Mary Anne]

Goto okcupid, more than half the women there are looking for women. Most are couples that want an extra woman involved. Dating sites are so terrible for guys, except for me. They're fantastic, except all the women that talk to me are in The Philippines. I'm thinking of seeing if there are any Filipino communities close by.

I am not looking.

 

[Shiznown]

I am not looking.

I was talking to the OP posting.

 

[RetiredDinner]

I have to say that the Phillipines are in tremendous poverty.They have some of the largest homeless ghettos on the planet. Filipino women are all over the Internet friending and teasing the male prison population, homeless, those with mental illness, and every lonely male out there on Facebook. It used to break my heart seeing the way these men (I have worked with all these populations) thought they had real true romantic relationships. Each guy would have 400 to 700 Filipino female friends all viewing for their attentions off of Facebook. These men would show me their Facebook conversations (I did not ask to see them) and want me to read howmall these women wanted them.

It’s sad that men believe these women are truly genuine, and care for them. The women are seeking a way to America, and a better life. They utilize all kinds of tricks to engage.

I once saw something on TV about women who get paid to message men on pay-per-message dating services. There should really be a campaign to make people more aware of the dangers of online dating.

 

[Shiznown]

I'm just such an unattractive guy. I couldn't possibly have anyone talk to me that's actually interested. I mean, it's not like I've had women from this very site interested in my in the past or anything. I guess they wanted a green card too.

 

[Mary Anne]

Well thanks for the insult.

No one is “insulting” YOU. Attractiveness has nothing to do with it. I have seen this Filipino thing so many times in the jobs I have held so many times I have lost count. Hundreds of times, across different jobs, and male populations. It doesn’t matter what a guy looks like, his age, if he is toothless, very old, unattractive, etc. The gals always tell the guy how “manly and attractive” they are. The guys always fall for it no matter what.

The girls always get real friendly, and often times have “sisters” or “close friends” that “want to meet you” too. They always look really young and smile and say cute things. There must be one huge city just of these girls all working together. It’s really weird to see the exact things said hundreds of times over via Facebook.

If YOU want to believe the fantasy, go right a head. There are also Russian women / Eastern European women (also from poor, struggling countries) that do this sort of thing. But the Filipino women have totally cornered the world market on lonely online men.

You are but one of a million online targets of millions of Fillipino women who have learned a potential way out of poverty and no happy future. Google “slums of Manila” or “slums of the Phillipines” and try watching the series about it on Al Jazeera Tv on YouTube. This is where the women are coming from.

Every single guy thinks it’s all “real.” I usually just nod my head and smile silently in agreeance.

 

[Shiznown]

No one is “insulting” YOU. I have seen this Filipino thing so many times in the jobs I have held so many times I have lost count. Hundreds of times, across different jobs, and male populations. It doesn’t matter what a guy looks like, his age, if he is toothless, very old, unattractive, etc. The gals always tell the guy how manly and attractive they are. The guy falls for it.

The girls always get real friendly, and often times have “sisters” or “close friends” that “want to meet you” too. They always look really young and smile and say cute things. There must be one huge city just of these girls all working together. It’s really weird to see the exact things said hundreds of times over via Facebook.

If YOU want to believe the fantasy, go right a head. There are also Russian women / Eastern European women (also from poor, struggling countries) that do this sort of thing. But the Filipino women have totally cornered the world market on lonely online men.

You're implying I don't know how to spot a scammer. I'm not like the typical aspie stereotypical guy. I've had girlfriends and I've spoken to plenty of women. There are actually girls that message me local too, so I guess I can't complain too much, but the women that message me close don't really fit my preference for what I want.

 

[Mary Anne]

You're implying I don't know how to spot a scammer. I'm not like the typical aspie stereotypical guy. I've had girlfriends and I've spoken to plenty of women. There are actually girls that message me local too, so I guess I can't complain too much, but the women that message me close don't really fit my preference for what I want.

I do not know about stereotyping “typical aspie guys” as there is no such thing from what I can observe. The diversity of the autism spectrum is so vast an unique, I cannot see anything typical. It doesn’t matter what kind of guy a person is. It still happens. All the time. Smart guys, lonely guys, unconfident guys, young guys, old guys, even married guys...all fall for it.
These gals are so innocent seeming...they don’t ever appear to be “scammers,” and they have all the time in the world to develop friendships.

 

[paloftoon]

I'm just such an unattractive guy.

If you think that, then you are. You can change this thought process by working on things that will improve yourself such as if you don't have a full time job, aim for one. If you need a college background or trading school experience, do at least one of these things. Volunteer at a convention and/or continue to go to events here and there.
When you improve your independence and knowledge of things around you, this will automatically make you more attractive and you will feel more empowered and happier.

You have a very youthful age, and heck, I think your appearance is attractive, but I don't believe you are into men on top of a mutual attraction, respect, and emotional care toward each other. So, there, you have at least one person you now know who thinks you are an attractive person!

===

One time, I befriended a person in his mid 40s who had extreme wrinkles (mostly due to his weight and the way he stressed himself out) on the spectrum. Turned out he had an obsessive crush on me and when he understood I wasn't interested in him in that way, he got angry at me and had me kicked out of a social group for people on the spectrum all because he had a crush on me that didn't work out and nothing else. I had suggested he consider people who are like 60+ because a lot of them would probably be interested in him and his look tends to be more like theirs.

I was also too honest with him when he pushed me to tell him why I didn't want to him with him. I told him I thought he was ugly verbatim, nicely, but it hurt him. If I could show you a picture of a truly unattractive person looks wise (and with personality, makes it worse) in most people's opinions probably, in private, I would. lol.

Also, if you are unattractive, you can always possibly improve your appearance and also keep in mind that "looks" are subjective too. So, some people might not like a certain race because they are that race. It is annoying, but don't let that hold you back. Try to use the scenario you are in to your advantage. If those people aren't attracted to you, maybe they'd be that much more trouble to be with and not worth your time and energy.

 

[Shiznown]

If you think that, then you are. You can change this thought process by working on things that will improve yourself such as if you don't have a full time job, aim for one. If you need a college background or trading school experience, do at least one of these things. Volunteer at a convention and/or continue to go to events here and there.
When you improve your independence and knowledge of things around you, this will automatically make you more attractive and you will feel more empowered and happier.

You have a very youthful age, and heck, I think your appearance is attractive, but I don't believe you are into men on top of a mutual attraction, respect, and emotional care toward each other. So, there, you have at least one person you now know who thinks you are an attractive person!

===

One time, I befriended a person in his mid 40s who had extreme wrinkles (mostly due to his weight and the way he stressed himself out) on the spectrum. Turned out he had an obsessive crush on me and when he understood I wasn't interested in him in that way, he got angry at me and had me kicked out of a social group for people on the spectrum all because he had a crush on me that didn't work out and nothing else. I had suggested he consider people who are like 60+ because a lot of them would probably be interested in him and his look tends to be more like theirs.

I was also too honest with him when he pushed me to tell him why I didn't want to him with him. I told him I thought he was ugly verbatim, nicely, but it hurt him. If I could show you a picture of a truly unattractive person looks wise (and with personality, makes it worse) in most people's opinions probably, in private, I would. lol.

Also, if you are unattractive, you can always possibly improve your appearance and also keep in mind that "looks" are subjective too. So, some people might not like a certain race because they are that race. It is annoying, but don't let that hold you back. Try to use the scenario you are in to your advantage. If those people aren't attracted to you, maybe they'd be that much more trouble to be with and not worth your time and energy.

I was being sarcastic.