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Ster

Ster
My parents knew from the very start.
I walked before I crawled when I was a baby, I wouldn't speak to anyone, and it was pretty hard for me to socialize.
I've always been known as one of the "weird kids" at school, and I never understood why I couldn't fit in, or understand subjects the same way other people did. I went through a lot of depression to, because nobody knew why I was so strange, and neither did I. I used to criticize things I did or liked.
When I was in 7th grade, none of my teachers read my IEP folder that discussed my disorder. So I used to get yelled at for being so naïve and having to take more time than others when it came to work or getting instructions. I was always told to "grow up" by them for having bizarre interests as well. (Like cartoons. I got an F on an assignment just for MENTIONING SpongeBob when I did a report on an animator, even though I wasn't really discussing the series).
I always heard my doctors ask about my anxiety and disorder, but never actually bothered to look up or do research on what it was.
Finally when I found out, it gave me a whole new experience on how I look at life.
I apologise if this sounds like a rant (I tend to do that sometimes). I'm just curious as to if anyone can relate, or how did anyone else find out about their disorder?
 
I think my parents always knew as well. My dad was on the spectrum and there were quite a few similarities in our behaviour that were evident early on.
I learned to talk when I was very young, and was multilingual from an early age. My interests were always unusual and obsessive. I seemed very self-absorbed as the only things I knew how to talk about were about myself or my interests or "I statements." I was completely clueless at interacting with other children and I was bullied and seemingly unable to maintain lasting friendships.
I also frequently had meltdowns and tantrums (still do). I was very emotional on the inside but seemed to others like I was unfeeling or robotic and lacked the ability to put myself in another's shoes. I have always had a very monotone voice.
I am often accused of lacking empathy or being a sociopath, however I do definitely feel empathy and care for others, I am just not good at expressing it. I do feel remorse for my negative behaviours and actions or ones that have hurt people. I don't hurt or manipulate anyone on purpose. I actually really hate when people hurt or bully each other.
I have above-average intelligence but not very good motor skills. I was terrible at sports and anything that required coordination. I never make eye contact and I am extremely awkward in social situations.

I was officially diagnosed age seven. I had been constantly asking my parents what was wrong with me and why the other kids hated me so much. I knew I was different but I didn't understand why. I was relieved to have a diagnosis and I told everyone about it, only to find that it made the bullying much worse once people knew I had a label. I was often called "mentally retarded" and I was told by a peer that she "hates retards with Asperger's." I spent the rest of my childhood feeling quite miserable about myself and wishing I was normal.

As of right now I feel fine about my diagnosis but I have learned not to share it with everyone as there is a lot of hate out there directed at people who are on the spectrum.
 
My parents knew from the very start.
I walked before I crawled when I was a baby, I wouldn't speak to anyone, and it was pretty hard for me to socialize.
I've always been known as one of the "weird kids" at school, and I never understood why I couldn't fit in, or understand subjects the same way other people did. I went through a lot of depression to, because nobody knew why I was so strange, and neither did I. I used to criticize things I did or liked.
When I was in 7th grade, none of my teachers read my IEP folder that discussed my disorder. So I used to get yelled at for being so naïve and having to take more time than others when it came to work or getting instructions. I was always told to "grow up" by them for having bizarre interests as well. (Like cartoons. I got an F on an assignment just for MENTIONING SpongeBob when I did a report on an animator, even though I wasn't really discussing the series).
I always heard my doctors ask about my anxiety and disorder, but never actually bothered to look up or do research on what it was.
Finally when I found out, it gave me a whole new experience on how I look at life.
I apologise if this sounds like a rant (I tend to do that sometimes). I'm just curious as to if anyone can relate, or how did anyone else find out about their disorder?

I walked before I crawled too. I went through a "lone wolf" phase for many years, all throughout my childhood and teenage years. It's always been hard for me to socialize. There are SOOOOO many people on here that I can relate to! I've just been feeling totally alone most of my life and I should have joined this community sooner.

I was always considered to be weird and eccentric at school and I never knew why. I constantly had trouble fitting in; I had one childhood friend who was too socially inept (not even sure if he was on the spectrum), and one in high school that I didn't hang out with outside of the school, just classes and lunch - and he was quiet and shy. Otherwise, I just never really fit in anywhere after trying out various groups of people. I was still a lone wolf, but I wanted just a wee bit of social interaction from time to time.

I remember how it always took me longer than my classmates to complete a test in school. Sometimes the person sitting in front of me would look backwards to see where I'm at, because the students weren't allowed to leave until everyone was done. As for the naive part, well - I've always been like that. Some people took advantage of that all the way up to college. I've been an A student for most of my life and everyone considered me to be very smart; one person even said I have a computer in my brain (I'm not a genius though).

I am an adult now, almost 30 - and I still get told by other people to grow up, as I have the maturity of a 5-year-old. I've had some bizarre fascinations over my lifetime which included construction sites, streetlights, sprinklers, tow trucks, certain types of numbers and school ceiling intercoms. I've been told by pretty much everyone that I worry too much; I have severe anxiety and OCD.

I came across Asperger's online by accident years ago and decided to give it a look - and there it was, most of the things on the list matched what I exhibit and experience. From then on I started being curious if I might have it but I didn't go to see a professional just yet. I shouldn't have delayed this. I just ended up sweeping everything under the rug and hoping it would all magically go away one day, having "faith" but in the wrong way. People can be hard on me and some said that I'm never going to change. This type of criticism really hurts, and I have trouble being around neurotypicals as is.

Other than the anxieties I mentioned I also have emotional and behavioral issues which I mostly exhibit at home. I tried multiple times to manage it on my own and I've never been able to. I've been pushing people away for years and one day I just said enough is enough, and found a local psychologist a couple of months ago. That is where I actually found out about my AS - he didn't formally diagnose it but he's quite certain I have it. We are now working together on managing it, using systematic approaches for my self-improvement. I'm tired of living this way and I appreciate the fact that there are a few people on this planet who appreciate me, and this is what's urging me to never give up hope and not commit myself to a mental institution. I want to LIVE and catch up on all the happiness I've missed out on over the years.

In any case, thanks to this doctor I'm gaining more insight on my condition. He advised that I join an online Asperger's community, and here I am. I am very much glad to have joined this community, I'm learning so much from the members on here. I should have done it sooner and NOT be in denial about the fact that I have a problem that wouldn't just go away magically all on its own. There's lots of healing to accomplish and he told me that it'll take a lot of time. I'm really glad you've joined this community Ster. And there's no need at all to apologize, we're all here to listen, we're all here to help.
 
For the first twelve years of my life I lived in New York state and didn't get involved in many social things (I was also homeschooled), but then my dad got a pastoring job in Minnesota so we moved out there. It had a youth group so naturally I got more involved, but really struggled to fit in, whereas my siblings got along fine. My mom noticed this and observed me while studying autism for three years before sitting me down at the dining room table and telling me about it. I was a bit shocked at first, but I did my own research and really identified with it. I was sixteen.
 
Randomly seeing and reading an article about Nikki Bacharach's suicide got me to looking up Asperger's in early 2007.
 
My friend was diagnosed in June last year, and as a result I researched Aspergers to learn more. The more I read, the more I identified. I'm still waiting for my assessment, that should be done around September time.
 
My husband was assessed, and had to fill in all the questionnaires. He noticed that a lot of the things in them related to me a lot. I was eventually referred and diagnosed.
 
When I got referred two years ago at 24 to the community mental health team for anxiety, depression and suspected psychosis they picked up autism there too.

Should have been picked up bloody years ago.
 
Edited a typo in my response, changed "home" to "hope". I hate making typos!!!!

Don't post from your phone, then typos won't be a thing :D

On topic, I was diagnosed in October 1999 at the age of 23 years and 6 and half months.

How it all came about? At the time my Sister in law was working in a Home for Autistic adults in Gloucester, England, and when she came up to Sheffield with my Brother, she'd regularly comment that I was like her clients in the Home in a lot of ways, so they went on the 'Net and found information, took it to the Doctor's, and from there the process started.

During the tests though, I had an MRI, and then the useless cretins at the Northern General Hospital "lost" the results so I ended up having to have another one, anyway to cut a long story short, I had another MRI, and saw various Doctors, and then I was diagnosed as HFA (High Functioning Aspie)
 
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Don't post from your phone, then typos won't be a thing :D

Posted this one from my PC, although I do post from my phone too on occasion. My brain does this sometimes, using similar words by accident. I type very fast without looking at my fingers.
 
I was a toddler @ age 3 or so with all the textbook signs of ASD, so no doubt I stood out from the crowd. Really didn't take long for the doctors to deduce something there, and I still can recall bits of the experience (the hearing test and the waiting room with its sensory delights) even to this day. Communication, bonding...none of that was a concept to me at the time, I was living in my own feral ways with very little clue to the people around me.

Due to the social problems and troubles with school I developed in adolescence, I was re-diagnosed with "high-functioning autism" after they took my developmental history into account, and that was that.
 
I had no idea until I read The Journal of Best Practices and his sensory issues were so much like mine!

The more I delved into it, the more sense it made.
 
I didn't find out until I ran in to a psychiatrist at a Starbucks in Seattle. The funny thing was was that he came to me. I didn't come to him. So we sat down at a table and chatted for about a half hour. After we were done, he wrote the word Asperger's on a business card and I just put it in my wallet and forgot about it for over a month. When the time came to clean out my wallet, I saw the card and decided to look it up on the internet. Boy, was I in for a rude awakening, and to think that I almost threw out the card before looking up the word. If that would've happen. I would be undiagnosed to this day and wouldn't be here on AC.
 
I had never even heard the word aspergers until age 44 when a friend of mine posted a Temple Grandin video on Facebook about animals. I watched it out of curiosity and when she started describing her childhood I knew without a doubt that I was one too.

Growing up in the 70's nobody knew much about it and there were no special classes in schools.

The mothers of both of my best friends mentioned to them on several occasions that they thought I had something wrong with me. They said I wasn't retarded but it was something else. I always knew I wasn't normal. Now I know why. What a relief it was to finally know.
 
Years ago, I visited a professional about my depression then was told I was high-functioning. I didn't think much of it at the time since the term itself didn't strike me as odd or out of place. Recent events urged me to know more about myself, came across the same conclusion through research, then recalled my diagnosis.

Whew. I feel lucky. It helped me understand more about what was going on in my head instead of wanting to scream every time I heard "you just need to get out more, meet people and eventually, your problems will go away."
 
I was diagnosed a few weeks ago, I'm 34. I could write a book about it really, but let's just say I knew something more was happening with me than depression and anxiety. I started doing Google searches about things that I did that were weird, and some time later stumbled across autism forums filled with stories like these that I connected to. I paid a lot of money for an assessment (confirmed ASD) and now here I am!
 
My son had quite a lot of signs of classic autism as a baby so I started doing research.... discovered aspergers... did a lot more research... realized it described me and my father to an absolute T.. I'm certain my son is also aspie (he's doing well in school so we're not doing any official diagnosing).

Yeah... it was a few years ago but that self realization that you're autistic is pretty crazy. I don't have an official diagnosis and don't want one. I've since met several other people on the spectrum and know that's where I am. I think most of my childhood friends also were (not that I had many)... I think we're a lot more common than people think. Temple grandin said she could always pick out the auties sitting alone at lunch. That's me :)
 

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