It really hurts that I can’t figure out something most people can and that time is running out for me.
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I have made different efforts and I’ve often gotten ill will wished upon me when I’ve failed.Yeah, stagnant sucks, so shake things up a bit! Try something totally different and weird and outlandish. And if it’s a total failure, you can probably post about it on here and everyone will have your back.
I didn’t know the social rules. I was always told that women liked gentlemen and I thought being nice was the way to go about it.
Even women have told me “Women like…” and that’s partly because they bought into the norm that women should be subservient and follow men. I’ve even had a woman tell me she didn’t want a female president to ever get elected because “Women argue!” Really? Only women do and men don’t? That’s ridiculous!Anyone who says “women like…“ is not telling you the full story. “Women” does not describe a homogeneous group. Some women may like gentlemen, but some want the opposite. For my part, I don’t even know what that means.
Same goes for social “rules” – some people like those who follow them, others prefer the rule breakers. It’s frustrating when people paint women as a monolith because it is simply not true. It makes it hard for guys like you who are trying to figure out how to be happy in love.
Case in point. This person you speak of and I are apparently both women, and yet we do not agree.Even women have told me “Women like…” and that’s partly because they bought into the norm that women should be subservient and follow men. I’ve even had a woman tell me she didn’t want a female president to ever get elected because “Women argue!” Really? Only women do and men don’t? That’s ridiculous!
Could you please not make jokes about my situation? It’s a serious one to me.If you can emotionally and mentally connect with a woman to the point she keeps touching you,then you touch her back lightly, and she how she responds, if she doesn't object, then that means she likes you.
And might even consider dating you. If she smiles politely but moves her body posture away from you, or acts cold and indifferent. Then just forget it. Watch body language at all times. (I know alot to juggle...)
Staring is another good indicator. If she keeps looking at you, then turning away, then looking at you. She might think you are attractive. (Unless you are just looking or acting odd.)
I think most people gauge if find you attractive or not immediately. In first minute of meeting somebody. Mn obviously do this. I'm sure its same for women. (It doesn't have to be conscious. totally subconscious. ...ever ask a woman why shes attracted to X and not Z....no logical answer..its all instinct.)
Then just talk talk, say right thing, be cool, be real, don't complement her too directly or strongly. It makes you look desperate. Like you're into her for only ONE reason. Her body. (Which I guess is the case 9 times out of 10....and honestly you may WANT her sexually, but you don't actually NEED her.) Most important thing, try get her number before you part ways.
Yeah this all seems hard. Because not every woman is going to respond positively to you or even if they are attracted, wont follow through on those feelings. You have to make first moves at all times. But approach enough woman, one will eventually respond with interest. Then you just have to make sure you don't screw it up.
Okay thats preliminary, now on to Phase 2....
(Oh and f course if you like a person, treat them respect, and don't lie to them, be upfront and honest. Saying one thing, then doing another will destroy the relationship...)
Of course way more too it than that...nuances...but thats how you get a date!!!! hey now how to keep her, please her till shes infatuated with you, and keeps coming over to your place, (or you to hers.) Thats another story.
I struggle just to make platonic friendships. My conversations will fizzle out no matter how hard I attempt to keep them going.I did like her and she was and still is very pretty. So there was some interest, but I didn't think "girlfriend" or "relationship" when we met. We just made each other laugh and hung out more and more. So it was pretty relaxed and casual. We had some things in common, that always helps. I just think Markness might be too focused on the word girlfriend. Looking for a girlfriend. I think maybe he should look for people to hang out with first of all and not think too much about that word girlfriend. Be more relaxed maybe. But I don't know, it can be different for everyone.
I am 33 years old, I work part time, I still live with my mother for a myriad of reasons, I’ve graduated high school with only some college as extra education but I don’t have a degree, and I am generally socially isolated because most of the socialization that happens in my area is at bars. I am really just tired of going to my room alone after a daily slog and not have someone to be there for me as well as I for her.
I’ve tried different avenues to break out of my rut but they don’t ever succeed for me. I fear that I’ve either fallen too far behind socially to even get a coffee date or that there is a cutoff age to dating and I had it happen to me a long time ago.
Just how can I get a date despite my situation if it’s still possible?
I guess I really can’t get a gate no matter what I do.