I don’t understand why people like to talk with one another
Anyways, I am scared. Scared of something
I’m on a restrictive dietary plan right now. What I eat, how I eat matters
tomorrow there is a banquet. I’m supposed to stay at home and do what I do, tomorrow is a big change however
I have a hard time dealing with change. I might never be able to learn how to deal with change
How do I deal with change? Matter of fact, how should I deal with change?
That’s why I’m here, asking for support
1. One key difference between a neurotypical and an autistic,...a neurotypical usually gets a dopamine hit and feels energized from a friendly social interaction. For us, it's a mental exercise in masking and can be exhausting.
2. With regards to restrictive diets,...this can be a bit of a conundrum. We find foods that make us feel better,...and this could be from a gut-brain axis perspective where certain bacteria produce the neurotransmitters we need. However, over time these same bacteria can outcompete other bacteria,...so when we occasionally eat new foods,...that happen to require different bacteria, we can get abdominal swelling, bloating, headaches,...generally feeling like crap. I take a broad spectrum probiotic,...the more different bacteria in the product, the better. That way, when you have those occasional meals that are not on your usual diet,...it isn't going to get you in as much trouble.
3. The being scared part,...that is your amygdala in "high gear",...it can be useful in truly life-threatening situations,...but mostly it's a source of a long, long list of psychological issues, social and communication dysfunction. If you're not already on anti-anxiety meds,...and wish to treat this holistically,...I highly recommend L-theanine,...I use 200mg am/pm. It's a glutamine blocker, inhibiting the excitatory neurotransmitter, and enhances the GABA, the inhibitory neurotransmitter,...calming your mood and making you think more clearly.
Beyond that, it is a combination of intellectualizing and realizing that the anxiety from social situations, is often in your head, it isn't a rational as you think it may be, and people generally don't care that much about how you behave as much as you think it does,...at least not amongst a mature, adult crowd. Yes, children, teens, and young, immature, insecure adults can be nasty creatures,...especially when in groups,...but this banquet doesn't sound like that situation, at all.
As far as the occasional social event goes,...how I deal with it,...it's acting 101. Know your audience, lift your head up, good posture, eyes up and bright,...then interact like you own the place,...total confidence. Inside,...yes, you are, at first, apprehensive and anxious,...but get into the act. Here's the balance though,...you still have to not embellish and exaggerate about yourself,...still be humble. People love to talk about themselves,...so, if you can get them talking,...the less you have to do,...but light friendly conversation about travel, places you've been, interests,...and if they are opening up,...then family and friends, work,...that sort of thing. Small talk is difficult,...you have to work at it a bit,...but if it is meaningful and somewhat personal to them, they will often just keep talking.
4. Change can be a good thing,...but here's the key thing,...YOU have to be in control of those changes in your life. Set those small daily, weekly, monthly goals, and go after them,...on your terms. You are the one who has to be confident and pro-active. You take control of you. If you are always on your heels and reacting to changes thrown your way,...then you aren't in control, and it becomes a negative thing,...and this is where the anxiety occurs.
