Holiday blues.

[Metalhead]

I plan on spending Thanksgiving all alone. Eat a frozen pizza and smoke some weed in isolation. Away from harmful family, but all of my friends will be with their good families, leaving me alone and isolated.

I could easily see myself binge eating in a situation like this one. And I am already close to being morbidly obese. I have developed a bit of a binge eating disorder, which my family is all too happy to keep rubbing my face into.

Shame the gym is closed tomorrow.

 

[Metalhead]

I probably should starve myself this weekend. Not have a Thanksgiving dinner. Just drink coffee and smoke weed.

I can't shake the words my parents keep hammering into me - that I am morbidly obese and that my fat is particularly unhealthy because it is all in my belly, the absolute WORST way for the body to carry it, and that they are obsessed over this because they love me and they do not want me to die in five years from now.

I know, they are body shaming me and I am taking it to heart. I also know this has been at the root of a lot of my binge eating the last couple of years. Which is why I am spending Thanksgiving alone.

 

[oregano]

I am cooking myself a turkey breast and stuffing. Most of my immediate family is dead and my mom has people to spend her holiday with so she won't be lonely, and they all do a totally different dinner schedule than what I'm used to anyway. When I was a kid dinner was around 1pm, but they all eat around sunset (5pm or so). So, doing thanksgiving my way.

 

[AutisticMilly]

I used to starve myself, and it only made my binging worse. It seems like a good idea, but in reality, it does the exact opposite of what you hope it’ll do.

 

[Aspychata]

You are writing about it, that's important. You are rehashing what they did and how it makes you feel. l then take those feelings and explain to myself how they cause me to feel in what way? Do l feel shame, do l feel betrayed, do l feel insignificant, do l feel gaslighted, do l feel unloved? Do l feel angry and sad? Then l sit with those feelings, for me it may be 5 mins, it may be 30 mins for someone else. Then l tell myself l am releasing these thoughts, and l am going to feel good about myself. And finally l tell myself, l probably don't need to binge or emotionaly eat, or stay angry at my parent's lack of love and gaslighteing, because what does this solve, just more unhealthy behavior from myself? So far these steps are really helping me.