Hi, This is Me

[David Esp]

I am a retired mentally-active man of mid-60's age, as of January 2022.

I have only in recent years fully understood and accepted that I have AS-Lite and iADHD

By AS-Lite (my term) I mean Asperger's

By iADHD (my term) I mean Inattentive ADHD. I have also called it ADhD. ADD seems a more sensible umbrella-term, but I understand that term has gone out of professional fashion. Latter negatively affected me because...

I only realised there was such a thing as iADHD in the last couple of years - having previously rejected (hence never studied in depth) the possibility that I had ADHD because physically I am the polar opposite of high-energy! Instead, for me, "it all goes on inside" i.e. I have an unusually active (in certain ways) mind - that can makes me inattentive externally.

Luckily (or from evolution?) my hyperfocus kicks-in automatically on currently-fascinating and life-critical matters. Latter can be because they are inherently life-critical, unexpected emergencies, high-responsibility situations or when work deadlines are imminent - at which point they become critical (then - from fear and anger with myself - I suddenly work intensely, and effectively at that last-minute). Surprisingly (to me) I have found that I can better deal with critical situations than most people - and "pull rabbits out of hats" i.e. solve problems or get things working that people thought were impossible (I take up such challenges tenaciously - partly to defeat the opinions of such people, motivated by my own ego).

Now - at this moderately advanced age - that I have finally identified "my home planet", it remains for me to better understand it and adapt to it.

 

[Nitro]

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

You are similar in age to me, I am self diagnosed, welcome to the forum. sorting out "impossible puzzles is easy for people like us." Before I retired I was told some things were impossible to fix, took me a while but fixed it. Spend a good part of my time trying to understand how the universe works Read every book I can find on Quantum mechanics, relativity theory, strung theory, loop quantum gravity, recently discovered information theory, now think I understand dark matter and energy.

 

[Suzette]

Hello!

 

[VictorR]

Welcome!

 

[maycontainthunder]

Welcome!

 

[Richelle-H]

Now - at this moderately advanced age - that I have finally identified "my home planet", it remains for me to better understand it and adapt to it.

Hello David and welcome to the forum.

I have to say that I am still looking to identify my home planet. This one, that I woke up to find myself stranded on, has never felt like home to me (even after being diagnosed with Asperger's in my 40s).

Anyway, if you choose to stay and explore, you should find a comfortable fit.

 

[clg114]

Welcome to Autism Forums!

 

[David Esp]

You are similar in age to me, I am self diagnosed, welcome to the forum. sorting out "impossible puzzles is easy for people like us." Before I retired I was told some things were impossible to fix, took me a while but fixed it. Spend a good part of my time trying to understand how the universe works Read every book I can find on Quantum mechanics, relativity theory, strung theory, loop quantum gravity, recently discovered information theory, now think I understand dark matter and energy.

The worst is...

When you have made or (by analysis) revealed something elegant and informative, by subtle use of non everyday methods, then they don't get it, no matter how clearly you explain it, no matter how much they seem to be taking in a presentation. In which case they dismiss your work to have been mere time wasting, or else grab it for themselves, because it looks flashy, but still not understanding it, then go ahead and misrepresent it to an uninformed (hence gullible, no matter how intelligent) audience, not only slanting but twisting (thus falsifying) it to what that audience expects to see, thus lulling and pleasing that audience, gaining final applause (and a sick feeling in ones self). With sustained effort, that can sometimes be overcome, but the oppositional "tidal current" never quite goes away.

Or taking over your meticulously designed software based on elegant and novel methods and elements, not understanding it (because it's novel and they can't cope with that) then criticising it, misrepresenting it and finally hatcheting it into a form they are more familiar hence comfortable with. Like attaching the first-ever wheel to a cart via multiple nails then complaining the wheel doesn't slip as well as skids. Then one day (New Year's Eve) it goes wrong in a way that was impossible in your original design, after they've gone home early, along with everyone else, leaving you-alone to debug it (into the night, with a blinding headache), which involves trying to get inside their heads (ugh!) to understand their intentions then mending (or at least patching) that "intention" so the damn thing gives a critically-required answer to its users before midnight (and they could understand the patch when they get to see it, a couple of days later). I did get a bonus for that, but my patched version of their system remained in place - as they didn't dare change anything at that stage.

Those experiences were from various establishments, who were in other respects wonderful. Not their fault, just a "human" thing. I wonder how I would have got on at SpaceX.

I can't blame the "gullible" ones - those (blinkered and/or opportunistic) others sounded so much more confident, authoritative, team-spirited, rational and believable than me.

And there's the thing...

 

[David Esp]

You are similar in age to me, I am self diagnosed, welcome to the forum. sorting out "impossible puzzles is easy for people like us." Before I retired I was told some things were impossible to fix, took me a while but fixed it. Spend a good part of my time trying to understand how the universe works Read every book I can find on Quantum mechanics, relativity theory, strung theory, loop quantum gravity, recently discovered information theory, now think I understand dark matter and energy.

Without going into too much detail (as I am not that informed in these areas), are dark matter and energy real-as-atoms (not that anyone has ever seen one, other than via devices designed on the assumption that they exist, thus risking a kind of technical pareidolia) or are they mere "patches" to the standard (in vogue) model, their associated phenomena being more elegantly explained by your (received and possibly extrapolated) model?

 

[David Esp]

Hello David and welcome to the forum.

I have to say that I am still looking to identify my home planet. This one, that I woke up to find myself stranded on, has never felt like home to me (even after being diagnosed with Asperger's in my 40s).

Anyway, if you choose to stay and explore, you should find a comfortable fit.

Thank you Richelle, I completely agree, and I certainly will !

 

[watersprite]

Welcome.

 

[tree]

 

[David Esp]

Synchronicity is always weird (but quite agreeable). Not much earlier, while testing a web browser tab manager (Tree Style Tabs - it's brilliant) my random search term was "tree" !

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

Without going into too much detail (as I am not that informed in these areas), are dark matter and energy real-as-atoms (not that anyone has ever seen one, other than via devices designed on the assumption that they exist, thus risking a kind of technical pareidolia) or are they mere "patches" to the standard (in vogue) model, their associated phenomena being more elegantly explained by your (received and possibly extrapolated) model?

As Far as I can make out information is equivalent to energy via E = mc^2= matter. As information is constantly being generated the universe must keep expanding Hence dark energy. Would also explain inflation right after the big bang, lots of information pouring out.

 

[David Esp]

Oops - I meant Tabs Outliner - that's the browser extension that's got me excited (and distracted)