Hi new here..not sure if I belong or fit..

[Susannj47]

hi..47 yr old female..haven't been diagnosed ..but always had issues in life..not very intelligent ..many times feel like I don't know anything ..my dad was bipolar..he's passed now..I get mood swings..prefer to be alone..always been awkward ..in dressing..everything..I may still be depressed now since I am focused on figuring out what is wrong with me..I tend to follow or go along with what others do and can't always think for myself..memory isn't so great..and I'm living with terminal cancer for 4 yrs..so I don't neatly fit any box..in the Cancer groups and not sure if I fit here..I've been called weird..ugly..scumbag..toad..sometimes I can go to stores and food shop most tines I can't lately..I moved back with family 2 yrs ago..I have limited income ssi due to terminal status plus work history was under the table since working with others was always a struggle..I always did better working alone..I mainly leave the house to go for treatment..I have seen counselors but they don't know what to do for me..and psychiatrist in the past never diagnosed me as bipolar..currently on an antidepressant that helps some..but with chemo side effects try to not lose my mind..not sure anyone can relate..I have a small support..

 

[Myway]

Hello and welcome.

 

[Nitro]

Everyone is welcome here

Nice to have you aboard!

 

[Mia]

Hi Susann, welcome.

 

[George Newman]

hi..47 yr old female..haven't been diagnosed ..but always had issues in life..not very intelligent ..many times feel like I don't know anything ..my dad was bipolar..he's passed now..I get mood swings..prefer to be alone..always been awkward ..in dressing..everything..I may still be depressed now since I am focused on figuring out what is wrong with me..I tend to follow or go along with what others do and can't always think for myself..memory isn't so great..and I'm living with terminal cancer for 4 yrs..so I don't neatly fit any box..in the Cancer groups and not sure if I fit here..I've been called weird..ugly..scumbag..toad..sometimes I can go to stores and food shop most tines I can't lately..I moved back with family 2 yrs ago..I have limited income ssi due to terminal status plus work history was under the table since working with others was always a struggle..I always did better working alone..I mainly leave the house to go for treatment..I have seen counselors but they don't know what to do for me..and psychiatrist in the past never diagnosed me as bipolar..currently on an antidepressant that helps some..but with chemo side effects try to not lose my mind..not sure anyone can relate..I have a small support..

Welcome. I hope that you are encouraged, challenged, and can find understanding. In addition, know that your experience is very valuable and just might encourage, challenge, and provide understanding to others.

 

[xudo]

Welcome

 

[Sylar]

First off, welcome to the forum. Second, sorry to hear about what you're going through, it sounds beyond awful.

I'm sure you'll recieve plenty of support from people here and hopefully enough interesting/entertaining posts to keep your mind occupied and lift your spirits a little. Maybe your experiences can also help others get through there own issues.

 

[Susannj47]

Thank you everyone..yes I guess I always hope I can help someone else..and thru out my life I always felt sorta like a blind person..always needing a guide..whether it was a friend or boyfriend.,but I was always looking for approval ..I'm just tired,..have had suicidal thoughts thru out my life.,and still do..my life has never been easy..why would it be now..but the internet is helpful..growing up we didn't have the Internet.and had to leave the house..like right now at this moment I am content.,no where to go..feeling very child like.,but not really sad or depressed..what an existence huh..I still pray to God and the Angels..and sometimes Wish if I was at least physically attractive it would be a bit easier ..but would..probably prefer a normal brain ..

 

[Southern Discomfort]

You're probably sick of hearing it but I'm really sorry to hear what you're going through. I don't really have the words in my vocabulary to say what I want.

A lot of us do feel like outcasts for one reason or another so you're welcome here regardless of what you're going through, we can empathise with this feeling of detachment you have. I myself can also draw a line to your feeling of feeling like a child. I'm 26 now and I'm really struggling to adapt to being an adult, a mix of various mental health problems doesn't make it any easier. But yes, you feel inferior to everyone else who can manage responsibilities, they know what they want to do and are independent. I don't really get that. Hopefully one day.

 

[Bolletje]

I hope you feel welcome here, this is a very diverse, friendly and helpful community. At least, it feels that way to me, hope you feel the same!

 

[When In Rome]

Of course you fit, of course you belong.

Stick around, you'll soon get moosed to it.

 

[Nemo]

Hey Susann! Sorry to hear about your illness. Everyone here is really welcoming though, and no-one calls names. Your profile photo looks beautiful.

 

[Susannj47]

Hey Susann! Sorry to hear about your illness. Everyone here is really welcoming though, and no-one calls names. Your profile photo looks beautiful.

Thank you for the kind words..

 

[Rocco]

Welcome aboard

 

[Streetwise]

Welcome susann
im almost but not like a carbon copy of you
im 46 think im perimenopausal hate my phone