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Hi! Im Tootse.

Tootse

Tootse

New Member
My husband and I, after 3 decades of marriage, have just come to realize(3 most ago) he has Aspergers/ASD1 and Alexithymia (we've self diagnosed). Finally having a name for our issues has been a blessing.
But now I'm trying to learn more so I can try to help and support him better because I truly love him, and also find support as I try to work out my own emotions after dealing with *life* alone in a marriage of over 3 decades.
I look forward to learning from all of you.
 
I'm an Aspie self-diagnosed, married 42 years. my brother now deceased was also an Aspie, married for a short while was a real loner. Second brother married over 20 years also loner, his wife is always travelling for pleasure he rarely leaves his home.
 
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Ronald Zeeman said:
about 15 or 20 years ago.
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May I ask what precipitated your finding out? Was it causing an issue or were you just curious?
We accidentally found out about my hubs. I'm a big researcher and had heard about it and decided to look up info on ASD and Aspergers and found a short 10 question quiz and took it but immediately saw/heard my husband described. Then he took it and scored "Likely Autistic" and went on to take a much longer quiz and he scored the same.
 
I was on a Myers Biggs forum and there was a test for Asperger's on it just wrote it got a highly likely. other than that, did not really affect the way I viewed my life. looking back realized two brothers and a sister were also Aspies. It explained why we were all exceptional at our jobs.
 
Ronald Zeeman said:
I was on a Myers Biggs forum and there was a test for Asperger's on it just wrote it got a highly likely. other than that, did not really affect the way I viewed my life. looking back realized two brothers and a sister were also Aspies. It explained why we were all exceptional at our jobs.
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That's like my hubs...exceptional at his career.
I keep reminding him his ASD1 is what helped him to be so successful at work.
 
Hi and welcome @Tootse
Tootse said:
My husband and I, after 3 decades of marriage, have just come to realize(3 most ago) he has Aspergers/ASD1 and Alexithymia (we've self diagnosed). Finally having a name for our issues has been a blessing.
Click to expand...
In the same boat as me, I am finding it hard to find stuff to help with the alexi or to come with it. Have you found anything that helps, or things that support. I am not expecting it to cure the alexi but might help make life easier?

Edit - just noticed your other thread on alexi
 
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Combining being an Aspie, with being brighter than typical also helps.
the closet analogy to my older brother, is Paul Dirac.
 
Alexej said:
Hi and welcome @Tootse

In the same boat as me, I am finding it hard to find stuff to help with the alexi or to come with it. Have you found anything that helps, or things that support. I am not expecting it to cure the alexi but might help make life easier?

Edit - just noticed your other thread on alexi
Click to expand...
I'm glad you found my other thread on alexi. Again, I can't promise similar results as my hubs has had but the brain stimulator has enabled him to actually feel other range of emotions besides anger. He, me too, is really impressed. To actually *see* joy/smiles and even sadness on my hubs face, as silly as it may sound to most people, is a huge blessing. Hearing him describe the experience of both is also a blessing.
 
I laugh so much with your name, because my dear grandpa, used to call me Tootie, despite that not being my name and I actually had forgotton what he used to call me and voila, came upon your post and thought: that name seems so familiar and then, realised why.

You certainly popped into the right forum for answers.
 
If you want to learn more about Asperger’s Syndrome/ASD1, I highly recommend Dr Tony Attwoods book. I found it indispensable in discovering what made me tick and answered countless questions about eccentricities etc. I made a few hundred notes while reading the book and had them organized from childhood to the present.

These notes were presented to the psychiatrist’s when I was being assessed & diagnosed. I made two (2) appointments with two independent Boston based autism centers and both reports were the same; HF ASD1.


My wife participates in a Zoom group of wives/husbands/partners who are in a relationship with a ND/ASD1 person. It is facilitated by a psychologist well versed in ND/NT relationships and it has truly improved communication and our marriage. There is a nominal fee to participate. If this may help you, PM me and I will send you the information. By the way, we have been married 31 years and I was only officially diagnosed three (3) months ago.
 
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