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Hi, I used to be active here and I want to come back

Discussion in 'Politics Discussion' started by Sabrina, May 4, 2021.

  1. Aspychata

    Aspychata Serenity waves, beachy vibes

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    I finally ended up at a mediation firm that specializes in divorce in LA. It was a total of almost 3 years. All the time, l kept going thru car accidents as a extra bonus, l can't directly tie it to him. But on temporary alimony week, we were deciding on support, a car in back of me crossed over double line and crashed into my driver side on pupose, single lane traffic on either side. Four total accidents during divorce.
     
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  2. Mia

    Mia Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Would the court system recognize a private investigator's evidence? One that could prove the things that you've said with photographs? Or is this too dangerous or impossible for you to do? Private message me if you don't want to reply here.
     
  3. Sabrina

    Sabrina Gentle & brave earthling

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    Yes, there is. Let me explain what happened.
    At the beginning I didn't know for sure if he was jobless or not (I couldn't believe he could lie about that), so I just reported that he wasn't paying any alimony. Then, because of COVID, the justice system stopped except for very urgent cases, so there was a five month period after that, when the whole process halted.


    When it started again, I realized that what the judge had ordered him to pay was only 10% of the alimony that he hadn't paid for six months, so I realized that I couldn't continue supporting my kids for more months, let alone pay for the expenses of a lifestyle audit and wait for who many more months for a sentence. I didn't have any income and was living out of savings.


    In the meantime he had asked for custody, and since he had never showed any interest in raising the kids, I thought he was just scaring me to make me sign a new document with less alimony on it.


    I thought that in a few months after he'd got custody, he was going to get tired of parenting them and return them to me, with the alimony.


    I was wrong.


    A few months after he got the kids living with him, he moved to a bigger house (with his girlfriend) , so that's when I knew for sure that he had been lying all along (and also because of other clues, but that was the main one).
     
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  4. Sabrina

    Sabrina Gentle & brave earthling

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    So sorry to hear that. The night when I learned that the ex had lost his job and couldn't pay alimony (I believed him) I didn't sleep at all and had a bumper to bumper accident while taking the kids to school the next day.

    Aprox. 10 months after that, when I realized that my younger kid didn't want to see me, again, I almost could't sleep and the next day I hit an electric pole while going backwards.
    2 car accidents... but yours were way way worse.
     
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  5. Sabrina

    Sabrina Gentle & brave earthling

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    Yes, I could.
    The thing is that I am being alienated (which means that their dad has turned them against me; it's called parental alienation) and that is very difficult to prove.

    As a consequence, even if I start a process and the judge states that they should be with me, it can't be enforced because here you can't force a kid to live with a parent that they don't want to live with. It's absurd.
     
  6. Aspychata

    Aspychata Serenity waves, beachy vibes

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    l have forgiven the ex. Because it helped me heal. To hold on to anger is useless.

    They can turn the children against you. Gaslighting at it's very worse. When your child no longer recognizes you. The men can milk the court system in their favor. It really makes you think about marriage in a whole new way. Like should l have married?

    Then you have to pick up the glass slivers of your life and function. So please know it will get better.
     
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  7. Aspychata

    Aspychata Serenity waves, beachy vibes

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    My daughter ended up on antidepressants a year after l left. She blames me and refuses to see her father's role. But how can l compete? He bought her a car, pays her rent, but he is paying for college.
     
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  8. Sabrina

    Sabrina Gentle & brave earthling

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    You just gave me more hope than anything anyone has said to me this year. Thank you so much.
     
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  9. VictorR

    VictorR Random Member V.I.P Member

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    I'm so sorry.

    I just wanted to add that where I am, the audit would be done by the judge - so the person making the claim would not be bearing costs if the concerns are raised in good faith and appear plausible.
     
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  10. Sabrina

    Sabrina Gentle & brave earthling

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    That's great... I hope it were like that here.
     
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