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Hi guys

Discussion in 'Introduce Yourself' started by Onandonandomnom, Apr 24, 2021.

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  1. Onandonandomnom

    Onandonandomnom New Member

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    I was told to come here by a suicide prevention line operator. I hate my autism, I feel like it's ruined my childhood and will ruin my life. I don't want to have so much social anxiety or be called weird anymore. My posts are always ignored on forums but I hope someone sees this and feels what I feel. I just wish I was normal.
     
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  2. SimonSays

    SimonSays Time is an illusion I seem to have a lot of V.I.P Member

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    I hear you.

    I can't say I feel what you feel, but you are very welcome here.
    None of us are 'normal'. That's the point.
    Here you will find people who are supportive and kind. You have come to the right place.
    Don't worry. You are not alone.
     
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  3. SimonSays

    SimonSays Time is an illusion I seem to have a lot of V.I.P Member

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    Sorry you feel that it ruined your childhood, but don't think it has ruined your life.

    It may feel like that right now, but you are young and there is so much in front of you. We're all on our journey to find who we are. I know I'm still a work in progress. This community will help. You've taken the first step and reached out.

    See what happens next.
     
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  4. Skittlebisquit

    Skittlebisquit Keep trying to be as amazing as you really are

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    Welcome to the forum

    I keep trying to pronounce your screen name and not there yet. I am feeling joyous and childlike today, its what we call first light here, thats way early am when everything looks blue.

    It rained last nite, i am going to go out in rubber boots soon to great the day. Then i think that like all the dishes are dirty, so that should be fun, i will get to do that

    I am trying to form new habits and kill a couple of bad habits its tough. I want to do gym class exercises every day. Did they call it P E where you went? That was like 25 years ago fo me, kinda foggy that far back

    When i told this awesome minister, who is a licensed therapist, about how much my mental health was an issue and how it caused me to drop out of school, and how i used to carry a weapon to class every day (because i was going to win the next time), she was like
    " i am so glad you stopped going to high school, you made a good choice"
    That blew my mind, totally new perspective. It was always my big secret, i was masking all my symptoms(so i thought) thinking i am a failure and its shameful and all that.

    It makes a big difference who is the therapist and all that. I was shocked by her saying she was proud of me for quitting. Its because it was a bad scene. How close i came to ruining my life...

    So congratulations on surviving your child hood! I am proud of you for calling the crisis line, that means you are not withered up inside. Good job on reaching out here, i think it will help you, it has me. Mostly ppl are nice, its a safe place

    Whew i wrote a book! Sorry. I swear this is true: exercise is the best treatment for depression. Have an awesome day!
     
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  5. Skittlebisquit

    Skittlebisquit Keep trying to be as amazing as you really are

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    I am going to make oatmeal cookies later. Little things like a pocket full of stones, just try and find little things to be joyous about. I really like elevator music now, dk why. There is one radio station that plays all instrumental no classical just ez listening, i am turning it on in 3...2...1...
     
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  6. tree

    tree Blue/Green Staff Member V.I.P Member

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    [​IMG]
     
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  7. Skittlebisquit

    Skittlebisquit Keep trying to be as amazing as you really are

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    20210110_084732.jpg
    Thats a baby pepper this was in mid winter, i kept it alive its almost one year old . apparently they can live a long time
     
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  8. Skittlebisquit

    Skittlebisquit Keep trying to be as amazing as you really are

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    Its still twilight here so you cany see it all that well. Its red now, still kinda a mutant. Its a runt, not good enough to buy, lets discriminate! Should we call it a stupid name from a lame tv show that a loser watches? Maybe we could call it a girls name, or suggest that the pepper is homosexual? That was common in my child hood, we thought that if a boy had one little bit of fondle in the dark with a guy, then he had "gone gay" and would be wearing scarves and leggings and makeup inside of a week .
     

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  9. Kevin1968

    Kevin1968 Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Welcome,

    You may feel like you are the only one who feels like you do...but you aren't, many here have felt that way at times. It sucks...but it's not permanent, you just have to find your place.

    Concentrate on your strengths and your weaknesses will become less important.

    Being "normal" is overrated, be extraordinary.
     
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  10. Kevin1968

    Kevin1968 Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Feel free to post anything (within the site's broad rules anyway) you want/need to let out.

    Many of us have felt the need to vent and we will happily listen to others (even if we don't know what to say in response) and read their posts, you won't be ignored.
     
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  11. clg114

    clg114 Still crazy, after all these years. Staff Member V.I.P Member

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    Welcome to Autism Forums!
     
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  12. Streetwise

    Streetwise Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    You are closer to the place where you can only do what you!!!! really want to do and be, I've experienced getting there it's not!!!! fun but had to be done.
     
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  13. Streetwise

    Streetwise Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    keep talking to the suicide prevention line or if you can't do a voice call !?the Samaritans in the UK have an email address they are a suicide prevention line for the UK they will get to you when they are free it's run by volunteers and donations ,go to the resource section on this site for their email address try mindfulness pray if you feel it would help G-d doesn't force you to go to a church first and he'll be with you 24/7
     
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  14. Kevin1968

    Kevin1968 Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    They will always listen, and you don't have to be suicidal either.

    [email protected]
     
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  15. Alexej

    Alexej Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Hi and Welcome @Onandonandomnom

    Do make yourself at home. THere is a rumour of coffee, but I have only smelt it but never tasted it
     
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  16. Gift2humanity

    Gift2humanity Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Welcome to the forums.

    I am sorry to hear you felt so despairing you rang a suicide hotline, but hey, they directed you here, life works for us when we help ourselves, you rang the helpline rather than harming yourself, they sent you here, and now you are in a place full of others where you can talk about your challenges and be among people who may have shared your experiences and you hopefully will get a lot out of being here.

    Autism is a blessing.

    I hated "That weird thing" that I had as a child, not knowing it was Asperger's.
    It meant I was a brainy geek who could only do art when I wanted to be good at sport, but wasn't.

    It meant I annoyed others as I rejected my gifts and talents and chose to see myself as a victim, so, guess what, others victimised me.

    I unknowingly masked these traits that no one else seemed to have, which caused identify disturbance and may well have contributed to my Borderline Personality.

    Not to mention depression, suicidality, substance misuse, wanting to fit in with mediocre normals, and self harm.

    Wendy Weirdo was the name my Dad called me, not his fault, he didn't know what to make of me. I could have laughed it off, and chucked some funny names in his direction, instead I chose the victim role.

    Poor co-ordination meant I was a late walker falling down a lot.
    I was also an early reader, and artistic, intelligent (mother saw me as gifted)
    Poor late Dad had such mental distress he could not be outshone by a small girl so he homed in on my shortcomings and I placed this above my gifts and talents and gave them up in favour of "being good at sport" something I just wasn't meant to do.

    Self rejection, is the cruellest thing we can do to ourselves.

    When we realise we don't actually have to talk to fill in gaps, to fit in, something I am learning now, social anxiety falls away, and we notice others around us who are not autistic also suffer anxiety too.

    Please keep posting on the forums, you have undiscovered gifts and talents.
    I rediscovered mine, dropped the fitting in bit, the good at sport bit and accepted my weirdness. It's so much easier, no pretending, that was hard work, people like those who accept themselves. They sense self rejection and react negatively to it.

    A big warm welcome from me.

    :cherries:
     
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  17. VictorR

    VictorR Random Member V.I.P Member

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    Welcome! We can discuss almost anything here. :)
     
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  18. Gift2humanity

    Gift2humanity Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Sweet little pepper, nurtured by you. :)
     
  19. Thinx

    Thinx Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Hi and welcome, this is a supportive place, most here will understand well what you have experienced and your feelings about this. Actually I would think you are through the worst of things in the sense that you are a young adult now, and that gives you a bit more freedom to be yourself, than often feels to be available as a child.

    There are a lot of people in the world and specifically here, who have autism, yet walking down the street you don't tend to meet them, partly because we don't all have a big A for Autism on our foreheads, so we can't recognise each other, and also because even though we are many, we are dispersed around and about, and compared to neurotypical people, we are relatively few.

    But here many are neurodiverse, and that in itself can be interesting and useful, it's good to talk to others who get what you mean and what you are up against. I hope you will enjoy reading threads and join in discussions, your ideas, opinions and strategies are all of interest to others. Tell us how things are for you.

    :bee::blossom::beetle::seedling::cherryblossom::bug::leafwind::snake::sunflower:
     
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