Hi from a lady autist

[yogabanana]

Hi, thanks for letting me be here.
I am having a tough time with some things. I am self-dx but I have also been officially dx, just by an LPC not through a neuropsych eval. I am thinking about doing the formal dx but undecided. I am married to another person with HFA (undiagnosed) and the friction in our marriage is my biggest source of stress. You might get tired of hearing about it but as an autist myself it's still such a struggle and I am worried that there is nothing more I can do.

We have a kid, both have jobs. I guess I am "Higher" functioning most of the time, but he masks better so idk. He also seems to have alexithymia. I do not.

My special interests include yoga, magic, psychology, social justice, gender studies, spirituality more generally, and relationships. His include board games and video games and other games, calligraphy/fonts/technology of color, esoteric sports, and general science.

I didn't realize I had autism until the last few years. I am not sure what else to say but thanks for having me.

 

[tree]

 

[yogabanana]

Thanks!

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

You mentioned the technology of colour as a special interest, tell me more, I made my living on this. Absolute expert, industrial colour control. vehicles, appliances. You got my attention. No artist I know a bit of the system they use. Or even the computer guys.

 

[yogabanana]

You mentioned the technology of colour as a special interest, tell me more, I made my living on this. Absolute expert, industrial colour control. vehicles, appliances. You got my attention.

Well that is my husband's area but he likes reading about pantone colors, stories of funny art uses of color like this situation where they made a new color black or something and I think maybe it was meant as a joke or an insult to someone else in the artistic community.

Translating cym into pantone, reason you can't, etc. Sorry if I am fumbling some of the details. I do my best to hear but I am sure I'm missing something.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

Welcome there are those us who are married and have learned to cope with communication issues over the years.

 

[Nitro]

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

Well that is my husband's area but he likes reading about pantone colors, stories of funny art uses of color like this situation where they made a new color black or something and I think maybe it was meant as a joke or an insult to someone else in the artistic community.

Translating cym into pantone, reason you can't, etc. Sorry if I am fumbling some of the details. I do my best to hear but I am sure I'm missing something.

I used the pantones when customers wanted ink colours matched had to break down the colour visually into pigments and develop formulas. Then make the formula standardize, it makes it repeatable. developed a quality system around controlling it. Put together a quality system the paint companies could use to control the colour. Expert teaching the experts. what I did for controlling colour is still considered not possible
Even when I googled if a few days ago. This is what makes us Aspies different.

I heard about that black a few days ago.

 

[clg114]

Welcome to Autism Forums!

 

[yogabanana]

I used the pantones when customers wanted ink colours matched had to break down the colour visually into pigments and develop formulas. Then make the formula standardize, it makes it repeatable. developed a quality system around controlling it. Put together a quality system the paint companies could use to control the colour. Expert teaching the experts. what I did for controlling colour is still considered not possible
Even when I googled if a few days ago. This is what makes us Aspies different.

I heard about that black a few days ago.

Sounds very much in his area of interest with the formulas for pigments etc.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

what does he do artist, designer, chemist I'm just a retired, colour techy. ?

 

[Luca]

Welcome!
Social justice and gender studies are things I'm very passionate about too (genderfluid, asexual/aromantic, disabled, Latina person here! Mostly she/her pronouns)

I'm not around here posting-wise as much these days (aside from lighthearted threads, which I still hang out in frequently, serious threads have become an issue for me) but I do check messages and notifications if you need to chat to someone. I have literally zero experience with relationships but I like to be supportive in any way I can.

Hope you like it here!
- Luca

 

[yogabanana]

what does he do artist, designer, chemist I'm just a retired, colour techy. ?

He's a chemical engineer by education currently working as a spreadsheet guru/data scientist. He's honestly more in tune with color stuff than I am, even though I'm generally more sensitive to aesthetic considerations.

I think it's probably partly due to his love of systems. Data sets, systems that categorize elements of the natural world, theoretical maths, it's all systems and he definitely thinks like that naturally.

I do too but it's more personal and emotionally oriented like nonverbal communication is a system, tone of voice and other elements of communication nare part of a system. Emotions are part of a system.

 

[VictorR]

Welcome!

From what I've seen and read, it seems that when AS-related challenges arise in a relationship, that something that helps smooth things out is a mutual recognition of the challenges, each other's communication styles and preferences, and how to work together to adapt to them.

 

[yogabanana]

Welcome!

From what I've seen and read, it seems that when AS-related challenges arise in a relationship, that something that helps smooth things out is a mutual recognition of the challenges, each other's communication styles and preferences, and how to work together to adapt to them.

That is good advice thank you!

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

He's a chemical engineer by education currently working as a spreadsheet guru/data scientist. He's honestly more in tune with color stuff than I am, even though I'm generally more sensitive to aesthetic considerations.

I think it's probably partly due to his love of systems. Data sets, systems that categorize elements of the natural world, theoretical maths, it's all systems and he definitely thinks like that naturally.

I do too but it's more personal and emotionally oriented like nonverbal communication is a system, tone of voice and other elements of communication nare part of a system. Emotions are part of a system.

I'm a chemical engineering technologist, most of my working with colour was numbers to describe individual colours, I do have exceptional colour vision, but for the most part stuck with numbers, with Inks, the pattern was matched on the finished product the ink itself matched by a system where I could use numbers to control. A lot of natural products were matched wood in particular for garage doors, roofing and siding big.
When it comes to aesthetics I just worry about the colour and how to match it so it looks natural. The trick is substrate, treatment basecoat, ink, and clearcoat so they all work together to fake what is being matched. the real trick is using a limited number of pigments UV resistant. most tinters had much larger palettes.
black, yellow, two red, two blues, green and white, and poor hiding, basecoat provides the hiding, ink is translucent. luckily I can sort of see the formula in my head mix and match numbers of each of the pigments.

 

[Thinx]

Hi and welcome. It sounds like both you and your part have absorbing interests. There are plenty here in relationships, it can be a puzzle, especially because communication issues are often at the core of challenges for ASD1 people. I'm self diagnosed, after working with young people with ASD 1 and their families in therapeutic settings, and realising as I researched it that it applied to me. I did a lot of therapy as a young person and adult, and trained as a relationship therapist too.

I often think what we need is partly strategies around the difficulties caused through our neurological difference, those can be worked out between partners with mutual willingness and over time. Sorry to hear you are up against friction, hopefully you both will find some ways around this. It's good that you are here.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

my wife and I get along amazingly well, we have so many things in common mirror image families I think really helps.

 

[Storm Hess]

Hello.

 

[yogabanana]

Hi and welcome. It sounds like both you and your part have absorbing interests. There are plenty here in relationships, it can be a puzzle, especially because communication issues are often at the core of challenges for ASD1 people. I'm self diagnosed, after working with young people with ASD 1 and their families in therapeutic settings, and realising as I researched it that it applied to me. I did a lot of therapy as a young person and adult, and trained as a relationship therapist too.

I often think what we need is partly strategies around the difficulties caused through our neurological difference, those can be worked out between partners with mutual willingness and over time. Sorry to hear you are up against friction, hopefully you both will find some ways around this. It's good that you are here.

Part of how I came to realize I am autistic is how often I attracted autists to my private practice as a therapist. And how I clicked with them so I well. Finally I thought wait a minute...