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Hi everyone!!!

Discussion in 'Introduce Yourself' started by Sean1234, Jun 13, 2019.

  1. Sean1234

    Sean1234 New Member

    Jun 13, 2019
    EEeeeeek First post guys. I was wondering if i could get some advice. Don't even know if I'm asking in the right place.

    Anyway I've got kids from when i was younger so they live with Mum. Weekend Dad which is all i can really be for them now. My ex had our son tested for ASD. He is high functioning although my ex disagree. But hey ho!!! I'm only weekend Dad!!!

    I've took a backseat because not to get too personal but I was an idiot when the kids were young I was real piece of work. Still took the kids all the time just couldn't afford to give my ex money, shes was just amazing honestly a saint. one of those people she'll do anything for anyone.

    Problem is I'm worried she has now become so obsessed with raising awareness she has done it in fabulous fashion. What I'm afraid of is she now sees symptoms that aren't actually there.
    My daughters school is on my side The rest of the family agree shes wrong but it really her call at the end of the day and I respect that but this is affecting her self esteem and I don't think I can stand idly by again.

    So my questions are should you chose to accept them :
    1. Can I just make an appointment to go and see the people who will be testing her and strike up a bit of dialogue so i could be kept in the loop about what is happening?
    2. Also is it true if parents are relentless enough they will get a diagnosis to to keep them quiet?
    3. And finally! These are not going to be fun conversations in the coming few months so any advice on how to approach this?

    Thanks in advanced folks
    • Friendly Friendly x 2
  2. Pats

    Pats Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

    Aug 18, 2018
    Sounds like you have a lot of respect for 'mum' and that's the best things you can do for your kids. Do keep in mind that she is around them more and kids may act out in more ways with her than they would you. Can you talk to her about being there for the diagnosis - letting her know you're doing it to be informed and not to undermine her.
    • Agree Agree x 4
  3. tree

    tree Blue/Green Staff Member V.I.P Member

    Jun 29, 2013
  4. shysnail

    shysnail Well-Known Member

    May 14, 2019
    Hi and welcome to the forum!

    Just to clarify, am I right in understand that your son has been diagnosed as autistic, and now your ex is pursuing a potential diagnosis for your daughter as well, who you do not believe is autistic?

    I honestly think that the idea that diagnoses are handed out like candy is not true to people's experiences. In fact, the opposite, particularly when it comes to autism diagnosis in girls. So my initial reaction would be that if your daughter is not autistic, she is unlikely to be diagnosed as such.

    In terms of your ex's general gung ho attitude to diagnosis, I wonder if there may be an element of her seeing herself as the Autism Mom, the mom who is raising an autistic kid and now knows everything about autism? The "spreading awareness" thing sounds a bit like this might be the case. If so, I think you may have a legitimate concern for the self-esteem of both of your kids. I was raised by an Autism Mom, and it really didn't help me deal with being autistic, but instead taught me to see it as an awful deficit that my mum was a great person for having to deal with.
  5. Isadoorian

    Isadoorian Well Known Chat Member, Welcomer of Newcomers V.I.P Member

    May 16, 2018
    Welcome to the Forums! I hope you make new friends and enjoy your stay in the process! :)
  6. Nitro

    Nitro Admin/Immoral Turpitude Staff Member Admin V.I.P Member

    Apr 5, 2014
    Hi Sean :)

    welcome to af.png