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hi again i feel so disconnected and i miss my life

Discussion in 'General Autism Discussion' started by Jenisautistic, Jan 26, 2020.

  1. Jenisautistic

    Jenisautistic Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

    Apr 21, 2015
    hey everyone I really feel like I messed up big time I just Facebooked my friend from my old high school I guess I was really desperate this doesn't sound right but I was hurt as I menciend when my friend moved away and I felt friendless and so alone because we again lived in the same building I feel so embarrassed sometimes to show everyone I see who may be nt the real me usually I’m fine but tonight I felt so amazing strange I ended up thinking I could be cool with never ever explaining to my friend my story.

    then I posted on fb that I missed my school and everyone in it and that I believe I scared everyone away even one of the teachers is tagged in the post and I know my close relatives and family friends will see it I also posted a picture of myself I wish everyone could understand my story and how I truly feel about everything but I feel so so embarrassed even posting to face book with my relatives on it and also messaging my friend and I kind of called him though messenger not realizing it was around 9 pm and realized it was probly too late to be calling him but I don’t know how long people typically stay up for and if I was in the wrong I want to see him again so badly but I feel like he is intimidating because I messaged him a lot before years ago maybe too much and as I said I wish I had done something because I feel like I weird him out because I don’t understand how to talk nt

    I really wish a had not messaged him now I feel like wanted to vent to you because I am feeling not like I usually do even now when I post I want to be coherent And I want to make friends that are NT but surprisingly sometimes I just don't feel like I have anything to say at all in front of them I mean I'm 21 And I still like dolls color and I'm playing with games for kids on the computer normally I feel fine but sometimes I feel inferior I never even realized this feeling until I tried to post on Facebook that's all I have for now but I feel like adding more later

    should this be considered a sesative or serous topic in this form
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  2. Aspychata

    Aspychata My Art Work

    Feb 12, 2019
    Sometimes l reach out because l miss the person, but then like you l go through doubts of was this okay? Do l appear needy? Does this seem too much? Think we worry too much about this. Just love yourself, maybe it's dolls today, maybe tomorrow you will be learning guitar. Sounds like you are still healing from things you went thru. You are dealing with doubts about everything. But slowly you are moving on. We here are a safety net, we can try to catch you, dust you off, get those negative thoughts moving on so that you can concentrate on your life. Is your new person finding out more info? Have you been in contact?
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  3. Sarah S

    Sarah S Well-Known Member

    Dec 23, 2018
    Jen you havent done anything wrong in FB this is what FB is all about so try to not second guess youre self to much.

    Reg the feeling of others growing past me with interests and so on belive me ive felt and still feel this to this day and experince it pretty much with all my friends (incl those younger then me ) This is just how nature decided to create us Jen we are diffent then those not having our diagnosis. And theres NOTHING wrong with it and you really shouldent feel it is either. You are YOU Jen (same as i am what and how i am) and if others have a problem with this they can just go there separate way.

    And NO neither one of us are or should have to feel inferior to others without our diagnosis. We are all diffent and this is how nature have created us

    Embrace who you are Jen and be PROUD of who you are. neither one of us have asked to be born with any of our diagnosis or other problems BUT this dont mean were less worth then anyone else we all deserve the the same amount of ordinary respect as anyone else on this earth

    Oh and Jen if i had a cent for every time i managed to mess up anywhere around the webb or in reel life i would be milonere by now. This is whats known as being a human ;)
    Last edited: Jan 27, 2020
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  4. Streetwise

    Streetwise very cautious contributor V.I.P Member

    Dec 6, 2016
    When you stop panicking you will feel better it's the panicking that is the worst until it stops see what you feel like when you stop panicking
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  5. clg114

    clg114 Still crazy, after all these years. Staff Member V.I.P Member

    Oct 27, 2011
    The hardest part of my life was in my late teens and early twenties and I think that you are more sociable than I was at your age. As you grow older, you learn more and gain self confidence. Things will be easier for you. I believe that this is pretty common for people like us.
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  6. GadAbout

    GadAbout Well-Known Member

    Dec 20, 2018
    Jen, I don't know if this means anything to you, but I like you. I'm just an old grandmother and my opinion may not count for anything, but at least, I'm on your side. Someone else commented that what you are going through is typical of your age with your diagnosis. I agree. Hang in there, things will get better.

    Anytime you are confused by what you should/shouldn't do with your social media, like Facebook, it's a good idea to step away for a little while. Social media can be so addicting, and a lot of folks decide they are better off without it completely.
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  7. Mary Terry

    Mary Terry Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

    May 19, 2016
    I'm also an old grandmother and think you are doing great. Don't worry about still liking dolls. Thank goodness Jim Henson, who invented the Muppets, didn't stop "playing" with dolls when society said he was supposed to quit. My mother took my dolls away from me when I started the 7th grade because she said I was too old to play with them, and it broke my heart.

    I don't see that you did any wrong on FB. I personally don't use FB, never had and never will because of problems and issues like you're worried about. If you're going to use FB, I suggest you write a rough draft of what you want to say on FB, then wait 24 hours before you post it to give you time to carefully consider your words.

    Hang in there. You're one of my favorite posters here. Your usual sunny disposition will be back in no time!
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