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here we are, Federica, from Italy

Discussion in 'Introduce Yourself' started by Federica, Jul 16, 2018.

  1. Federica

    Federica New Member

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    Hi, I am Federica, 40 years old (but childish), and I have been diagnosed Asperger as an adult, 2 years ago.
    Also all my life has changed.
    I closed a relationship that was very bad for me, left a job that I wasn't happy to do anymore, faced my second cancer (now faing the third), found my real first love (an American asperger man), began a career as poor and not very good artist that is what I always wanted to be, and begun to be who I actually am and stopped pretending to be "normal".

    Even though I am seen as somebody who has lost everything lately (good job position, relationship with a wealthy person, money, status, health), I have never felt more alive and happy in my life.

    I am full of ideas and project, and even if, at the moment I am visiting my boyfriend in the USA and we are living in an RV because we don't have the money for a real house, I am the happiest person ever.

    I have accepted who I am, my limits and my strenghts, and I am ready to begin everything again.

    At the moment I have a project for a children illustrated book about three adorable insane girls, I have some ideas for tridimensional paintings with geometrical patterns and I and my boyfriend are trying to visit as most as abandoned mental institute and buildings related to mental illnesses to take pictures for an art project. (If you are curious, visit our website: www.the-mind-project.com)

    I am also interested in science, reading, comedy, comics, surrealism, illustration, psycology, sociology.

    My biggest problem are the small talks and hypocritical people. Basically because I don't understand them or what is going on, even though years of a job as a wedding planner have taught me a lot about both.

    I also am an happy person with moment of big depression. A strong woman with lack of self confidence.
    I guess this are common traits among asperger people.

    By the way, being "old" and not very bad on the spectrum, and with a lot of studies of psicology, sociology and communication, I have learnt some stuff about society and social norms and I appear very normotype, when I want, today. Balanced and well adjusted. I am not, ah ah, but it's a secret.

    Anybody here who uses art as a way to understand their own emotions? is one of my bigget problem. I feel stuff, but it is very difficult to identify them. I used to say "I need to think about this" when somebody asked me what I was feeling. Now I tend to draw or paint something, when I feel upset and I don't know what I am exactly feeling. Most of the time I can understand it by what I have done.

    I also tend to talk to much about stuff I like, so I guess I should stop now.
    Hi again
     
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  2. Nitro

    Nitro Admin/Immoral Turpitude Staff Member Admin V.I.P Member

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    Hi Federica :)

    welcome to af.png
     
  3. Federica

    Federica New Member

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    hi nitro!
     
  4. tree

    tree Blue/Green Staff Member V.I.P Member

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  5. Tom

    Tom Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Hi & Welcome,
    Hope you find the forum enjoyable. People from all over the world here.
     
  6. Isadoorian

    Isadoorian Well Known Chat Member, Welcomer of Newcomers V.I.P Member

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    Welcome! I hope you make new friends and enjoy your stay in the process :)
     
  7. oregano

    oregano is on I-5 btwn Calif and Jefferson

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    Welcome! Many places in Europe can be really hung up on how people "should" be and act. It's hard for Americans to imagine, but in the case of Italy you have over 2000 years of tradition and culture that dictate how Italians should live their lives. Bucking the norm can carry a hefty price tag, not just with money but socially. The thing is, aspies are born to be square pegs in round holes. Here in America, in a lot of places a person can be weird as long as they're not perceived to be "mean" or confrontational and nobody cares. In some places here perceived outsiders are shunned, but it has more to do with family bloodlines than with the way somebody behaves. Unfortunately, coming here as an immigrant is pretty much impossible with the way the laws are now. I suspect you're on a tourist visa and will have to go back to Italy in a few months. Americans right now tend to hate immigrants and think there should be mass deportations. Anyway, enjoy your stay in our forums and country.
     
  8. Bolletje

    Bolletje Potato chip wizard V.I.P Member

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    Welcome, Federica!
     
  9. WittyAspie

    WittyAspie The One And Only V.I.P Member

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    Welcome! I am glad you have found the place where you are happy. Most people never get to the point where they truly understand that money will not make them happy. A lot of people say it, but not many people show they understand it with their actions.
     
  10. Progster

    Progster Gone sideways to the sun V.I.P Member

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    Hi Frederica. In the last 6 years I have also received a diagnosis of Asperger's, and a cancer diagnosis - since surgery in late 2016 I have been NED (no evidence of disease). It's a horrible thing to have to go through.
     
  11. clg114

    clg114 Still crazy, after all these years. Staff Member V.I.P Member

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    Welcome to AutismForums!
     
  12. Shamar

    Shamar Well-Known Member

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    Welcome to the Family. Many of us were diagnosed late in life, and that diagnosis was like a giant weight being lifted. Congratulations, you have found that understanding yourself and being who you are is a lot better than trying to be someone you are not.