HELP ME!

[Angelo54]

I'm a 28 year old with high functioning autism and I need to tell my story about the LBGTQ community harrassing me. I'm a heterosexual autistic, but every time I'm near a gay person they get upset that I'm not into that way of living, and therefore, they harrass the hell out of me. I feel so lost and I need to do something about it but the LBGTQ community is a protective class and if I say anything people will go after me.

 

[BrokenBoy]

I'm a 28 year old with high functioning autism and I need to tell my story about the LBGTQ community harrassing me. I'm a heterosexual autistic, but every time I'm near a gay person they get upset that I'm not into that way of living, and therefore, they harrass the hell out of me. I feel so lost and I need to do something about it but the LBGTQ community is a protective class and if I say anything people will go after me.

You're generalizing. Not everyone who is LGBT is like that.

 

[Kevin1968]

Not sure why they harass you? I tend to live and let live and expect others to do the same.
Probably better if you try to avoid the situation.

 

[BraidedPony]

I feel so lost and I need to do something about it but the LBGTQ community is a protective class and if I say anything people will go after me.

You dont need to do anything about it other than just ignore anyone bothering you. How do you know they are gay?
It is good that gays are protected, i didnt know they were, but it is necessary because gays are often targeted for violence simply for being themselves.
Just leave them alone.

 

[MeghanWithAnH]

Why and how are they harassing you? They wouldn't instinctively know that you aren't 'into their way of living' as you say, so if that's the reason then you must be telling them in some way. If you're going around telling them that you disapprove of them being LGBTQ, then they are going to get mad. Most people do get upset when strangers, acquaintances, and even friends offer unsolicited opinions about their lives. The best way to avoid that problem is to keep your opinions to yourself unless it's about something that actually affects you or hurts someone. So if someone of your same gender asks you out, you can of course say no, but if you see two strangers of the same gender on a date, you're better off minding your own business. Being LGBTQ does not cause anyone to just randomly start harassing someone, so keeping your disapproval to yourself should solve your problem.

 

[Fino]

Was that your story? You said you need to tell your story and I'm not sure if what followed was the story or if it hasn't been told yet.

But your post in the way it is currently presented is not a possible reality.

 

[Butterfly88]

I'm an autistic lesbian and the LGBTQ community treats me quite well. I've never met anyone in the LGBTQ community that gets upset that other people aren't LGBTQ themselves; we only get upset if people are against us. As Fino said I'm not sure if that was your whole story or not. Also I'm curious to know what you mean by harassment.

 

[Jojo_LB]

I'm bi and non-binary. I had never seen, nor do I see presently, harassment of heterosexual people by the LGBTQIA+ community. The community does not judge heterosexual people unless it has very good reasons to.

There are a lot of pieces missing in your post, so it's hard to tell what really is going on. To be perfectly honest, the assertion that every gay person you encounter harasses you for being straight seems quite dubious.

 

[Isadoorian]

Yes; I agree with everyone else here.

How are you sure they're of the LGBT+ community? How can we be so sure you're not just crying wolf and playing the victim after seemingly provoking these people when they're just minding their own business? Or, better yet, how can we be so sure that it's all in your head and your making these scenarios up?

I have a Gay Friend irl and he's never had anything against me; also have other LGBT+ Community members who I'm acquaintances with online and they've never had issues with me either, and I'm a straight guy.

I implore you fill in the gaps as a couple others have said.

 

[Suzanne]

Hi there

My deceased brother in law was gay and he was obnoxious. We told him time and time again, that he was welcome over, but to please refrain from talking explicit with us. He used to mock us and be very loud about his preverances and even, when hetrosexual men came over, he was trying it on with them!

The only thing you can do, is stand firm against them and tell them, that it is not defamatry to say no and you will report them if they insist, as it is sexual harrassment.

It is true that not all gay people are like this, but sadly, many are and that is why it feels that it is the whole lot.

 

[Thinx]

I disagree with the generalisation that many gay people sexually harass others, which has not been evidenced in any way.

I notice that talking about any kind of sex is often seen as taboo or embarrassing, and some people seem to find it particularly embarrassing to hear about non heterosexual sex or even see open displays of affection between people of the same gender.

Sometimes we have to question our feelings and opinions and wonder how we developed these, rather than assume we are right.

I am gay and non binary, as the nearest I can describe myself in our limited language of gender and sexualities. I think there's plenty more homophobia out there than gay people harassing others. However if one feels harassed there are ways to raise this; firstly I would suggest running the points past a mature and trusted friend or adviser, and listening to their comments, to see what they think.

 

[Frostee]

Why would they harass you unless you said something homophobic or became defensive?

 

[Fino]

With the timeless epidemic of sexual harassment and assault, especially since it's primarily men on women, it would be illogical to not presume gay men also partake in this behavior. I've been sexually harassed, assaulted, stalked and more all by gay men.

Once, it came up in a conversation with a drunk dood at a party that I'm gay, and he didn't believe me so he grabbed my crotch. Since I didn't like it, I couldn't have been gay. Later in the night, he tried setting me on fire. He was also my female friend's boyfriend. He's in prison in another state now.

It would be ridiculously long to detail every incident, and I only explained that one because it's somewhat funny, in hindsight.

BUT, none of that is to validate the OP in any way. That still sounds silly to me.

 

[BrokenBoy]

Once, it came up in a conversation with a drunk dood at a party that I'm gay, and he didn't believe me so he grabbed my crotch. Since I didn't like it, I couldn't have been gay. Later in the night, he tried setting me on fire. He was also my female friend's boyfriend. He's in prison in another state now.

Bizarre story. On a side note I also did similiar stuff when I was 12 to a fellow classmate that I had liked. So I guess there's another example there.

Unsurprisingly I was really messed up back then in general. I'm not anything like that anymore. And that is all behind me now..

 

[Gracey]

... but every time I'm near a gay person they get upset that I'm not into that way of living, and therefore, they harrass the hell out of me...

Something’s happened but I’m not sure what it is.

Are you misinterpreting a particular situation?

Has someone in particular upset you?

 

[Mary Terry]

I'm a 28 year old with high functioning autism and I need to tell my story about the LBGTQ community harrassing me. I'm a heterosexual autistic, but every time I'm near a gay person they get upset that I'm not into that way of living, and therefore, they harrass the hell out of me. I feel so lost and I need to do something about it but the LBGTQ community is a protective class and if I say anything people will go after me.

I'm sorry you have experienced that. I, too, have witnessed gays harassing the heck out of straight people, apparently because they think they are superior in their sexuality and that their gayness entitles them to do it. Gay people come in all forms just like heterosexuals and there are rude, aggressive people all along the sexual preference spectrum.

In the 1980s, the gay community in New Orleans became so aggressive toward tourists and so disgusting in what they chose to wear or not wear, that tourists began protesting and refusing to visit the French Quarter, especially tourists with children. The city, which is a major international tourist destination and financially dependent on tourism, began issuing tickets to the worst offenders, who were well known to law enforcement, for breach of peace and public indecency. Gradually, the Quarter became cleaner, safer and more wholesome for visiting tourists and local people who did not want gayness shoved in their faces every day.

My advice to stay away from them and ignore them. They are probably very insecure about themselves and lash out at straight people to help feed their egos.

 

[Monachopia]

From my very limited experience through my non-binary asexual sibling, their experiences with the LGBTQ+ community haven't been the best as a whole. As with ANY group there will be more militant individuals or gatekeepers. Not all of the community are like this at all, most that I've met are really lovely. It's best to be neutral, you're not expected to be like them, just have respect for them as any other human being. We're all the same, but we're all different and that's ok.

 

[Jojo_LB]

Um. I can't be the only one noticing the wildly homophobic comment in this thread, right? Considering that there are people here in the LGBTQIA+ community, crap like that doesn't belong here. It belongs in a homophobia forum.

Anyway, there is some truth to Monachophia's comment. As well as being bi, I am on the asexual spectrum. I found that there are some in the community who are not accepting of people like me. Thankfully, that is not a common occurrence though. Most of them validate all our identities and experiences.

 

[Fino]

I don't even like the clumping together of people into a "LBTQIA+ community," but I do understand it's necessity in society at this time. I just find it odd that someone will have an experience with someone who isn't straight in one state, go to another, have another experience, and somehow these two people are lumped together into a single group and a judgement is made on them as a single entity.

Which is a simplified example, it typically goes much further than that, of course.

Although I too sense some homophobia in a comment or two, as I said before, the general idea of non-straight people harassing isn't homophobic in and of itself to point out, in my opinion. I'm sure it's known by all here that the greatest perpetrators of these particular crimes, in numbers and severity, are straight men against women, and any animosity directed toward other groups couldn't possibly begin to approach the magnitude of their unending violence, which I believe is relevant in establishing perspective on this topic.

Being asexual, though, I'm incapable of fathoming the desire to do any of these things, so I do feel a tad removed from the subject.

 

[Jojo_LB]

Although I too sense some homophobia in a comment or two, as I said before, the general idea of non-straight people harassing isn't homophobic in and of itself to point out, in my opinion. I'm sure it's known by all here that the greatest perpetrators of these particular crimes, in numbers and severity, are straight men against women, and any animosity directed toward other groups couldn't possibly begin to approach the magnitude of their unending violence, which I believe is relevant in establishing perspective on this topic.

Yeah it's not that I can't possibly fathom someone who isn't straight harassing someone who is straight. But it's certainly not common for non-straight people to harass straight people because they're heterosexual. But I do see heterosexual people harassing non-straight people quite a bit because they aren't straight.

But I find some blanket statements about non-straight people above offensive and just plain total nonsense. Non-straight people feel superior in their sexuality? Non-straight people go around "shoving" their sexuality in people's faces? Really?? Lol OK. I don't know where they go, but I live in NYC, with more than 8.5 million people here, and I have seen things most people here in this forum will never see in their lifetime. And I can guarantee there are absolutely zero non-straight people going around flailing dildos and silicone vaginas around to threaten the heteros.