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Help, I feel like I'm becoming more and more like a child.

S

Swiftykitty

Active Member
Ever since I started colledge I feel like Ive become more and more like a child .
I dont know if it's or being scared or the the string of bad things that has been happening to me and my family or the fear and shock and overwhelmingness of realizing reality. I'm a junior now . The bad things are I was followed home the first time I went to the grocery store by myself . My granparents have alzhimers and had to move out of there house to a house two minutes away from mine. my uncle was diagnosed with brain cancer. My grandpa died then my uncle died. Also I am looking for some recomendations on American female autistic Youtubers to watch . Thanks!
 
Also, I crashed two cars by accident and now am driving my third car. The first crash was last year the seccond crash was this year.
 
It sounds like you have a tough time going on - which sounds more like sadness in response to those things than you becoming more like a child. You're allowed to be sad regardless of age.

As for your recommendations request, I do not know any for sure. The ones that I've found that I like watching happen to be in the UK only. Hopefully someone else on here will know a few for you.

Best wishes, and get some emotional support if you can. Sometimes educational places like college have options for counselling if students need it.
 
I feel like I was more mature when I was in highschool like I knew i was more sensitive and enjoyed some childish things but now I sleep with a stuffed animal which I've never done since I was a baby and someone put it in my crib. When I started college i started calling my mom mommy and my dad daddy and have become very clingy to them having seperation anxiety from them . I tend to talk in a childish voice a lot and say stupid things like uh oh and opsie dupsie daisy. For my twentieth birthday all I wanted to do was go to a park. And when I started college I realised that one of my favorite activities is skipping. I am a Juinor in college .
 
Maybe all the stress you are under. We somethings revert back to a safer time. Just be kind to yourself and give yourself a break. Be patience with yourself, but I would still remind myself I am an adult. I can relate to what you are saying in some ways. I am 63 and my parents are dead but i do catch myself talking or sounding like a baby at times. I really hate that. but I do not seem to be able to control it.
 
Sorry to hear of all the things that have happened to you. I think your feelings might be in relation to that. I think/hope in the long run you'll be fine. Find a balance that fits you. Also relax when possible.
 
Most people are too busy placating their insecurities by any means necessary to be any fun. You sound like fun. Be yourself, don't try to live up to an image of what you "should do" or "should act like", that's what everyone's doing and most of those people suck.

But to actually address your concerns, if I'm not wrong what you describe sounds like a fairly reasonable reaction to the stress you've been put under. I can't imagine how you must feel right now, I'm so sorry. Hang in there, it gets better.
 
It could be you were forced to act older than you ever really felt. When you're told, "grow up!" and have no idea what that means, you do your best to mimic "adult behaviour" but you never really grow into it like others do just naturally.

If you have PDD that is how it feels. You look adult. You speak adult if you speak. You may have a stellar vocabulary, but one day you will notice people "outgrow" you.

You will sense that the kids in your family that are younger than you are actually now older. They don't want to play the games they did with you and are taking responsibilities you were not able to take. You are baffled. Why are they being mean to me?

You don't really catch on that you are not grown up. You look adult, so you think you are adult and others around you assume you are as well.

But then you catch yourself doing things over and over that others don't, things others grew out of. Even other ASD friends may be adults, strange and beautiful creatures who may understand you, but adults.

It clicks eventually. And you are flooded with horror and fear.

I am a child, trapped in the body of an adult, with all the vulnerabilities but no protectors.

To whom may I give thanks for playing such a cruel joke?
 
Wow, it sounds like you're going through a rough time.
About what you said about your grandparents having Alzheimer's... I know how that feels. I know how awful it is. My grandma has dementia which is a similar thing and my grandpa has Alzheimer's.
It doesn't sound like you're becoming more childish. It just sounds like you're going through a rough patch. Rough patches always end eventually, yours will too.
Keep your chin up:)
 
Your profile says Autism (classic). Do you know your diagnosis in terms of DSM-5: ASD1, ASD2, ASD3?

I am sorry for your loss, but I'm sure that your current state of grief is going to undermine any mask of adulthood that you would usually wear.

ASD is a Pervasive Development Disorder [PDD]. As such, there will be parts of you that never develop to NT maturity. Some child-like qualities are actually superior to their adult counterparts, like creativity, curiosity, etc. Gifted people retain those qualities, as well.

I am ASD1 and I embrace my childish side. My adult side takes on responsibility and does all of the heavy lifting, but when I encounter unusual problems [read: puzzles! yay!] in my personal and professional life, I hand it off to my childish side to solve.

The Bible even says [in Matthew 18:2-4] that a certain amount of childishness is a good thing.
 
Ezra said:
There's a difference between being childish and being childlike.
Click to expand...
Only in willingness to embrace responsibility.

I keep 92 GI Joe/Barbie couples of as custom-faced lay figures.
They are toys.
They are tools.
 
I was diagnosed by an older person who first disgnosed me with social pragmatic communication disorder. Then my mom Nx I provided her with some more details like me being a toe walker and my button collection I would sort nonstop .Then she called me on the phone and told me that with the new information my diagnosis has changed to classic Autism . Yes, based on YouTube videos I watched I was expected he’d diagnosed on a specific level like ASD 1,2 ext. Also when I look up classic autism it’s is described as sever and not really high functiong at all which leaves me confused.
 
Lots of adults still find comfort in stuffed animals/plushies and other "childlike" things. Humans of all ages have a need for comfort and joy, and the idea that adults aren't supposed to find comfort or happiness in things like plushies and skipping is silly and random.

If you aren't hurting anyone and are helping yourself, then why should it matter if you conform to age norms? Please try not to worry about it, you have enough to worry about.

Swiftykitty said:
Also when I look up classic autism it’s is described as sever and not really high functiong at all which leaves me confused.
Click to expand...

Classic autism (aka Autistic Disorder/Childhood Autism/Infantile Autism) can come with any severity/functioning level.

Many people don't know/understand this....It seems that people like things to be simple/straightforward, and I think the problem is that the they can't make the labels fit neatly into a linear spectrum in their minds unless each label represents only one section of that linear spectrum.

In reality, both PDD-NOS/Atypical Autism and classic autism can be anywhere on the spectrum.....Also, in reality, the spectrum isn't singular and linear -- a single autistic person can have some very severe traits/symptoms/difficulties and some very mild ones.
 
the_tortoise said:
If you aren't hurting anyone and are helping yourself, then why should it matter if you conform to age norms? Please try not to worry about it, you have enough to worry about.
Click to expand...
I found this very comforting even though I didn’t create the thread. This needed to be said and it’s so friendly and empathetic. Also, if we work, all that matters in the ‘adult’ world is if we pay our bills and taxes. Outside of work, (or college) we can let ourselves drop the persona we have in society and live for our own needs which can help our development to perhaps become better functioning ourselves in the workplace. The word comes to mind is self-love.
 
Sounds like you're just needing a little security and very understandably so. Life is hard and we all need that. Hope things start looking up for you.
 
"When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."
C.S. Lewis

If those two things are required to be an adult, I didn't get there until 25 or so. Maybe you are discovering that you weren't quite as mature as your ego used to lead you to believe. Adults are just kids that got old. More and more I realize that the adults I looked up to as a kid are nothing like what I thought and that I'd have been better off looking towards my peers.
 
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