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Hello ...looking for some advice please

N

Nye

New Member
So I meet this girl at work .. we hit it off right away...she tells me she is an aspie..I'm not on the spectrum so I said cool. So we text and message almost every day and then her boyfriend was spying on our messages and I told her that's weird and she explained that just what he does. She breaks up with him and he stalked us while we hanging out one day ...I'm like this is getting creepy...long story short..she messaged me saying her and the bf gonna work things out and I'm like wth is happening then she blocks me on social media. So I see her at work everyday and she is always staring at me. My question is should I leave it alone or try talking to her again ? Thanks
 
Do you think he is abusing her? He sound controlling. He may have been the one to block you, or intimidated her to do so.
I don’t have any advice, but I wish you luck.
 
Idk he might be controlling and manipulating her but I think she knows what he is doing. They have a kid together as well so I'm lost. I was just being a friend is all . Thanks for your answer though
 
That's what one of my friends said. She only knows toxic relationships. She never had a healthy relationship so drama comes natural to her I think. I dont know . It's very confusing. Sometimes she says hi to me and I'll say it back . This has been going on for a yr . I'm tired and I just ignore her now tbh lol
 
I went through a similar situation, except I was the annoying girl HAHA :rolleyes:

I was in love/obsessed with this abusive guy, and at one point I did manage to leave him and date this REALLY nice guy, and the abusive guy started doing various things, such as going on a walk with the really nice guy (didn't find out what he said until five years later) and eventually I felt like I needed the abusive guy and broke up with the nice guy who begged me not to and told me how unhealthy the other guy is and that I deserve better and I ignored him.

Sounds a bit like what you just described!
 
Oh, right, the advice part. If the situation is anything like what I said, then you can't do anything. Only she can.

Do you pray? You could pray for her.
 
I'm blunt, but, would start out with a friendly statement like: "So how is it going with you and your
boyfriend? Working things out?"
If she just said, yes, and acts like she doesn't want to talk about it,
then I would be blunt and ask if she would prefer if we not talk to prevent any problems.

Maybe she wants a controlling guy. Some people feel they need to be told what to do and
someone to put them in their place.
 
Fino said:
Oh, right, the advice part. If the situation is anything like what I said, then you can't do anything. Only she can.

Do you pray? You could pray for her.
Click to expand...
That's kinda the problem. She already has a hard time communicating so I dont think she will say anything to me anymore Especially after what she did to me which was kinda messed up but it wasnt a big deal to me. I care for her and hope she ok of course . Are u still with that abusive guy now? Do you regret missing out on the nice guy?
 
SusanLR said:
I'm blunt, but, would start out with a friendly statement like: "So how is it going with you and your
boyfriend? Working things out?"
If she just said, yes, and acts like she doesn't want to talk about it,
then I would be blunt and ask if she would prefer if we not talk to prevent any problems.

Maybe she wants a controlling guy. Some people feel they need to be told what to do and
someone to put them in their place.
Click to expand...
I can never get her alone to talk tbh . One time I did and I asked her nicely how she doing and she said um good so I said that's good and walked away . Next day she wanted to talk it seemed like but we are at work so we cant have a convo like that u know . So we are cordial when we see each other. I asked her one day u alright and she said yes with her back towards me of course . I just started laughing to myself and then she will pop up outta nowhere and I'm just like wth . Just talk to me but she just cant .
 
Gracey said:
Trust your gut.
“This is getting creepy”

Let her and bf get on with it.
Keep some distance.
:)
Click to expand...
I have. I told her I wasnt trying to get in between ya relationship at all and wish u well. We havent had a convo in a yr . I cant read her face just like she cant read mine so we at a standstill lol
 
Nye said:
That's kinda the problem. She already has a hard time communicating so I dont think she will say anything to me anymore Especially after what she did to me which was kinda messed up but it wasnt a big deal to me. I care for her and hope she ok of course . Are u still with that abusive guy now? Do you regret missing out on the nice guy?
Click to expand...

Yeah, that's what I mean, that you can't do anything unless she lets you so you're stuck, is what I think.
No, I'm not, and yes, I do!
 
Thank you for your honesty and your advice. I appreciate it. Everything happens for a reason but I forgive people but I wont forget what happened of course. If you were in her situation what do you think you would say to the nice guy if you ever saw him again?
 
Actually, I did talk to him again! I apologized for it and explained that I wasn't thinking clearly and that I finally stopped seeing that guy and I'm sorry that you were ever involved.
 
Well that's good . I'm glad everything worked out then. I'm hopeful one day we can have that conversation as well. I'm a laidback person and dont like drama so that's why it wasnt a big deal to me. It's just the way she acted is what had me confused . Wouldn't look at me or even acknowledge my existence. I'm like but you're the one who blocked me haha . We are cool and I understand what happened. Its just a interesting situation is all to me .
 
If she didn't friend request or message you or give any indication, then I'd probably do nothing.
But if it feels right to you, maybe message saying hi?
 
I'd do nothing. Wouldn't want her to think you're stalking her on facebook and waiting for the moment you're unblocked.

I also don't believe in dating people from work. Whether it works out well, or turns out badly, it makes things awkward and more difficult.
 
I wasnt trying to date her lol I promise you that. I didnt do anything except listen to her when she vented about her bf cause I knew they were going to get back together duh . The bf was reading our messages so I dont really trust who be really talking to me on her fb anymore. It could be him or her tbh . She told me that they were gonna work things out and that it's best if we dont associate or be friends then proceed to call me and make sure i saw the message then block me for a yr. I'm over here like ok whatever lol we still work together you know so what was the point of that? It's just funny to me now
 
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