• Welcome to Autism Forums, a friendly forum to discuss Aspergers Syndrome, Autism, High Functioning Autism and related conditions.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Our modern chat room. No add-ons or extensions required, just login and start chatting!
    • Private Member only forums for more serious discussions that you may wish to not have guests or search engines access to.
    • Your very own blog. Write about anything you like on your own individual blog.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon! Please also check us out @ https://www.twitter.com/aspiescentral

Hello, I want to ask for advice

Mossgreen

New Member
Hello, (very sorry, I like writing detailed.)
I usually don't comment on the Internet since that's not easily controllable and obviously not very private, but I could really use some advice, if you don't mind.
I was recently diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder, but am still sceptical.
I was initially being viewed for social anxiety as I was having 'nervous breakdowns', as we will call them, but the doctors told me it looked more like I was on the Spectrum.
After 2 appointments, 1 testing and 2 questionnaires, I was told I was getting the diagnosis. Still, I am sceptical, as I had the impression that they might have misunderstood me and I believe it was too brief to actually say for sure that I am autistic. It is noteworthy that I learned a lot about Autism inbetween the appointments, which might have subconsciously influenced my behavior, as it would have been nice to have a definition and justification for the way I am, and that the medical report is also pretty brief. For example, they mention 'missed the cut-off number of childhood autism symptoms by 2 points, but shows significant amount of with autism associated symptoms', but do not mention which autism criteria specifically is met here.
However, since I don't know any diagnosed people around me, I wanted to ask for advice on here:
Contra
1. I am pretty sure I can read facial expressions just fine and understand sarcasm and irony, therefore knowing the purpose of different intonation (right word? - Very sorry, English is not my first language).
2. I have friends and have never had problems keeping friendships until puberty when everyone seemed to drift into specific interests like parties and relationships while I didn't.
3. I have had the feeling that I was more passionate than others, but I wouldn't say my interests were incredibly unusually intense. If anything, then they'd be unusual for my age (Horror movies, especially Stephen King's It at 11 or learning everything about Oscar Wilde's life at 15. I have also always been fascinated by language and storytelling; my interest in correcting spelling mistakes has been the reason of me being called a smartmouth before, though not necessarily in a negative way.)
4. Therefore, I have also always had a vivid imagination and imaginative play has been my favorite way of playing.
5. I like physical contact
6. I only do not like eye contact with strangers as I am 'looking into their soul', but I cannot guarantee that this has always been that way.
7. I am positive I do not have sensory issues.
8. I believe I myself show a normal amount of facial expression and intonation.
9. I do not have a clearly defined "social battery". I have had one before, I would say, but today I could be considered pretty durable. It can only become a bit critical throughout a longer period of time if I don't have enough privacy and a place to be alone in.
Pro
1. I have had repetitive behaviors like my parents having to read a specific story to me every night as a toddler, watching specific movies over and over until I was sick of them or making noises in my teenage years (Not much more though).
2. I struggle to initiate contact and respond as expected (body language, correct facial expressions, eye contact, talking, or simply not confident enough, whatever it might be) to others (strangers) trying to build up contact to me for whatever reason. *
3. I am very conform to rules. (But I wouldn't necessarily say it is because it gives me order and security, but rather because I enjoy control as I despise mistakes.) This conformity means I do not drink or do drugs or skip classes, which does not make me fun at parties (which is a joke as I have never been to a real party).
4. In addition, I seemed to have a understanding of literature and language that a lot of other peers did not show.
5. I have a more unusual sense of style and all my clothes have to meet specific criteria.

Noteworthy: *
As a toddler I was not interested in initiating contact, I much rather observed others, but when others approached me I usually interacted with them appropriately and was able to uphold a friendship without problems.
I believe the problem with finding friends in later years is that adolescents are much more personal and indirect than children who just come to you, play with you once and call you their friend. They are much more open-minded as they are still exploring the world, their teenaged versions however limit their number of interests drastically and expect you to work the same way as them - shown by small talk (which disinterests me) and similar body language - in order to let you into phase 1 of getting-to-know-each-other (this is based on my observation, it doesn't have to be true at all). Once I am in phase one, however I did this, I struggle to continue as I don't know what the 'social protocol' sees as acceptable.

With this information, my question is: can any of you perhaps relate or would you say it doesn't sound much like autism but more like a childhood problem?
 
I relate very strongly to a lot of what you wrote. I also have very little in the way of communication problems. I'm not just sensitive to body language, I rely on it heavily as I have problems processing auditory language. Over the phone it's like I'm half deaf and I have to keep asking people to repeat themselves all the time. I have no such problems when speaking to people face to face.

I never had any trouble making friends and I had a very active social life until I was in my late 40s. I'm ASD2.
 
Whether you are autistic or not is not for me to say.

What I would suggest is that you hang around the Forums for a while. Hold your question and see what people say about how their life is. Autism does not manifest in only one way, there are a range of subtleties as to how autism expresses itself, and we - on the Forum are ourselves in our infinite variability and difference.

Oh - Sorry I forgot to welcome you - so Welcome @Mossgreen
 
Whether you are autistic or not is not for me to say.

What I would suggest is that you hang around the Forums for a while. Hold your question and see what people say about how their life is. Autism does not manifest in only one way, there are a range of subtleties as to how autism expresses itself, and we - on the Forum are ourselves in our infinite variability and difference.

Oh - Sorry I forgot to welcome you - so Welcome @Mossgreen
Yes, my apologies, what I was trying to ask was if any of you related to it, I didn't intend to ask for a diagnosis. I know because it's a Spectrum and we are all individuals that we are different, I just didn't relate much to content I saw online and wanted to see if any relate to the way I feel in order to help me 'figure it out'. The last sentence was a little misleading.
Anyway, thank you for your advice, I much appreciate it and will most likely follow it.
 
Not an insult. I thought maybe you could explain briefly. Can you do that?

Edit: Never mind me
No, I don't mind, really. I was just not sure. I must jokingly admit that the message was already the cut version of my original text, but I can try to limit it to the core Information.
-I was diagnosed with ASD but am still sceptical as I don't relate much to content online and feel like the process of diagnosing might have been too brief. So I wanted to ask whether someone related to what I experience in order to help me 'figure it out.'
Core information
-No sensory issues
-I believe I'm able to read facial expressions and understand different tones of voice (and would also say I use these myself).
-Not necessarily unusually intense interests, but based on observations unusual interests for my age
-Repetitive behaviors, but not many throughout my life
-I like physical contact
-I am very conform to rules (though not necessarily because of order and security but rather because of control as I despise mistakes)
-And I struggle to initiate social contact and in a social interaction respond as expected (for whatever reason), because I don't know what is acceptable. But when I was a child I had no problem upholding friendships.
(I think this is because children are still exploring the world, therefore are interested in many things, as teenagers however, they limit their number of interests drastically and I don't seem to share many of them.)

I hope this was short enough. Thank you for being interested.

Now that I'm reading this I see why it could be seen as a request for a diagnosis
 
Yes, my apologies, what I was trying to ask was if any of you related to it, I didn't intend to ask for a diagnosis. I know because it's a Spectrum and we are all individuals that we are different, I just didn't relate much to content I saw online and wanted to see if any relate to the way I feel in order to help me 'figure it out'. The last sentence was a little misleading.
Anyway, thank you for your advice, I much appreciate it and will most likely follow it.
Now that I read through it again I can see that it sounds much like it, sorry. Thank you for taking the time to read
 
Whether you are autistic or not is not for me to say.

What I would suggest is that you hang around the Forums for a while. Hold your question and see what people say about how their life is. Autism does not manifest in only one way, there are a range of subtleties as to how autism expresses itself, and we - on the Forum are ourselves in our infinite variability and difference.

Oh - Sorry I forgot to welcome you - so Welcome @Mossgreen
I accidentally replied to my own answer -
Now that I read through it again I can see that it sounds much like it, sorry. Thank you for taking the time to read.
 
I relate very strongly to a lot of what you wrote. I also have very little in the way of communication problems. I'm not just sensitive to body language, I rely on it heavily as I have problems processing auditory language. Over the phone it's like I'm half deaf and I have to keep asking people to repeat themselves all the time. I have no such problems when speaking to people face to face.

I never had any trouble making friends and I had a very active social life until I was in my late 40s. I'm ASD2.
Thank you very much for your answer. It's nice to hear that someone relates to me. Not experiencing sensory issues, being able to read facial expressions, recognizing sarcasm and irony and having kept friendships with ease as a child are the major points that make me sceptical since before I've only seen autistic people who struggle with such fields. Also thank you for taking time to read the message.
 
A lot of the stuff you described describe me, even through I have never been diagnosed, I do not doubt I am in the spectrum, Some of the expert info may just not be completely correct, after all made be concensus overly generalized.
 
A lot of the stuff you described describe me, even through I have never been diagnosed, I do not doubt I am in the spectrum, Some of the expert info may just not be completely correct, after all made be concensus overly generalized.
Thank you for replying and taking the time to read the message, this is very helpful.
 
I think even if you don't feel you are autistic you can at least see a lot of related territory and behavior. Which would lead me to think that a lot of the tips and advice you'll find on here for dealing with various issues will be very useful. The label isn't important, the reaching out for help and gaining a better understanding is.

Welcome to the forum you'll find mostly helpful people here. I caveat with mostly because the autistic community is like any other some are helpful, most really, but some are best taken with a grain of salt.
 
I think even if you don't feel you are autistic you can at least see a lot of related territory and behavior. Which would lead me to think that a lot of the tips and advice you'll find on here for dealing with various issues will be very useful. The label isn't important, the reaching out for help and gaining a better understanding is.

Welcome to the forum you'll find mostly helpful people here. I caveat with mostly because the autistic community is like any other some are helpful, most really, but some are best taken with a grain of salt.
Thank you for taking the time, that's also very helpful.
 
I joined this forum as a self diagnosed aspie and it was and is the only forum where I feel at home with. The first point that struck me was the language. I am known to teach others new words ( except, I am a terrible speller, so rarely can spell these words floating in my head) and anyway, I come here and whoa, this is interesting. I "met" a group of people who used words I have never heard of and thus, my vocab has grown lol

I finally received my diagnosis of level 2 to 3 ( hovering between the two).

It is said: you meet one aspie - you meet one aspie.

I am the type who has never been able to make friends and I am not at all social. People frighten me, because I do not know what to expect and how to behave often.

I do get why you would feel sceptical with your diagnosis, because there have been times I have questioned myself, and then remember the intensive program I underwent, which tells me that no mistakes could be made.

You will find that aspies do not play along with what they have found out about Asperger's syndrome. I knew alot about Aspergers before being tested, but I could not fake at all and the therapist clearly saw that.

What learning about Aspergers helped me with was understanding myself a lot better and now, I am able to say: stop, if I need to breath. I no longer can be forced into a situation, as in the past.

I know this is not answering your question, but, on reading your excellent explanation, I do sense the diagnosis was correct, because no other diagnosis matches what you described.

I was told that I was painfully shy as a child and will grow out of it! Never did and now I am social anxiety; agoraphobia etc.

Also, finally am registered as disabled.
 
Not experiencing sensory issues, being able to read facial expressions, recognizing sarcasm and irony and having kept friendships with ease as a child....
I'm not without social problems, I often mis-hear people and I suffer badly from foot in mouth at times, especially if alcohol is involved, but I actually enjoy talking to people and finding out about how other people live and I don't have any anxiety about that.

I can get burnt out at social events, but that depends on what types of characters are attending, there's some people I can talk to for hours on end and there's others that can completely wear me out in less than 15 minutes.
 
It is entirely possible to have any of the characteristics on a spectrum ranging from "not noticeable" to "debilitating," so you may not actually show several symptoms.

Also, it can happen that a person will show more obvious symptoms under certain conditions (example: mine are much more obvious when I am under stress), or at different times of their life, or depending on their life experiences (example: I'm OK touching people I know well, and it isn't a problem because I avoid casual acquaintances, and handsy strangers).

Also, most people to not typify the stereotype. The stereotype "they don't get sarcasm" is overblown.

But for me, that stereotype plays out like this:

I do something at work, but it doesn't work out exactly right. My boss says "Nice job!"

I will probably miss the voice tone and facial movements that indicate sarcasm, and assume my boss means "Nice job under the circumstances."
 
You will learn that autism is not just A spectrum, but a number of spectra crisscrossing each other. There is no one set of criteria that defines all autistics, or even most. We are all different in our details, even if we share some similarities. Welcome to your new home.
 
I'm not without social problems, I often mis-hear people and I suffer badly from foot in mouth at times, especially if alcohol is involved, but I actually enjoy talking to people and finding out about how other people live and I don't have any anxiety about that.

I can get burnt out at social events, but that depends on what types of characters are attending, there's some people I can talk to for hours on end and there's others that can completely wear me out in less than 15 minutes.
I didn't want to imply that you don't have these characteristics, I just thought if I now include this major point, I can't forget the others. Sorry, whenever I post something on the internet I get nervous and tend to make some mistakes.
Anyway, for me it also depends on the person if I am able to communicate smoothly or not. With most I struggle to find a balance or the dynamic doesn't fit me and wears me out, but with some I am able to communicate seemingly endlessly without worrying about equal participation or how I am viewed at the moment based on what I said.
 

New Threads

Top Bottom