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Hello from Brandon

Discussion in 'Introduce Yourself' started by Brandon Brylawski, Dec 27, 2020.

  1. Brandon Brylawski

    Brandon Brylawski Big-hearted polymath

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    Hi, my name is Brandon. I'm 60 and single, with two cats. I have known that I was on spectrum for the last twenty years or so, though it took me a long time to appreciate all of the communication difficulties that exist between autists and neurotypical people.

    I belong to that subgroup of autists who have neurotypical social needs, which has made for a lonely life. Most people on spectrum that I have met have narrow interests or don't need human contact as much as I do, and most neurotypical people misinterpret my behavior as being strange or offensive. I am hoping to find other "unicorns" here that share my predilections.
     
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  2. tree

    tree Blue/Green Staff Member V.I.P Member

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  3. Aspychata

    Aspychata Serenity waves, beachy vibes

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    Welcome to the furry unicorn nation. Overnite parking is allowed only if you aren't in shedding season.
     
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  4. Streetwise

    Streetwise very cautious contributor V.I.P Member

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    Just as in the real world there is every type on this forum ,strange(most autists want contact just not a lot stimulus) as a unicorn would be a very social animal based on its actual inspiration the narwhal .
     
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  5. VictorR

    VictorR Random Member V.I.P Member

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    Welcome!
     
  6. clg114

    clg114 Still crazy, after all these years. Staff Member V.I.P Member

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    Welcome to Autism Forums!
     
  7. Thinx

    Thinx Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Hi and welcome, I hope that you enjoy it here. It can be hard for us to be at ease and fully accepted in one off unstructured social situations, I don't try these any more, but ongoing interest based meetings or classes can be easier to manage. Certainly at present with covid around it's not easy to socialise for anyone. It's good that you are here, and please join in and tell us your views and strategies.

    :herb::blossom::seedling::leafwind::sunflower::turtle::bee:
     
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  8. Brandon Brylawski

    Brandon Brylawski Big-hearted polymath

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    My only strategy is to get together with people for the purpose of engaging in an activity that I think is inherently interesting. Some of these for me have included board games, LARP, theater, history, and science. The first real community that I thought I belonged to in any regard were LARPers. Enjoying a hobby together did much to smooth over the bumps of social interaction. When my local LARP community went its separate ways after ten years or so, my ability to find people to socialize with went with it and has never recovered. since then it's been pretty lonely.

    As far as COVID-19 goes, the only thing I had going for me (if you can call it that) was that I was hospitalized with it in April, so a few people treated me as "safe" after that. That didn't make up for the friends I didn't get to see, but it was better than nothing.
     
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  9. ZebraAspie

    ZebraAspie Well-Known Member

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    Warm welcome.
     
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  10. MyLifeAsAnAspie

    MyLifeAsAnAspie Well-Known Member

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    Hi and welcome to the forums :). Plenty of us enjoy being social to an limited extent.
     
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  11. Brandon Brylawski

    Brandon Brylawski Big-hearted polymath

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    Yes, that was part of the point I was trying to get across. Some autists are perfectly happy being alone, some are happy with very limited interaction (e.g. online chat) and some need in-person interaction, but to a fairly modest extent. Few have the same need for social contact as the average NT. I find that the people I meet at conventions and such are either NT, with the attendant issues involved in autistic/NT communication, or else are autists whose modest social needs are already met (and who are often anxious about making new friends as well). I often feel like I'm neither-nor.
     
  12. OkRad

    OkRad μῆνιν ἄειδε θεὰ Πηληϊάδεω Ἀχιλῆος οὐλομένην V.I.P Member

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    Welcome. I am another that is not happy isolated. I wish I were content that way. PS. I love cats, too. What kind of cats do you have? I have several at the ol' homestead.... Brown stripey one, another black and sleek, two of the most beautiful orange fluffies, two strays outside, a neighbour's cat that visits a lot, a gray marble one and a grey stripey. They are all fixed, BTW!
     
  13. Brandon Brylawski

    Brandon Brylawski Big-hearted polymath

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    I have two cats named Sam and Max, both brown tabbies. Sam is slender and athletic, Max more roly-poly. My avatar is of Toby, a cat I had until the end of last year.
     
  14. Skittlebisquit

    Skittlebisquit Hope is faith rewarded in advance

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    Welcome brandon. I have a cat as well. 20200830_185649.jpg

    I get disappointed with comparisons seems to lead to "less than" thinking. I guess dont know about social contact. I talk on the phone alot and love this forum. Its a good place, i feel like i am developing new friendships already and its only like the first week.
     
  15. Brandon Brylawski

    Brandon Brylawski Big-hearted polymath

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    You make a good point. I strive to emphasize that none of the sub-groups that I describe are "better" or "worse" than the others. They are just different, as we are different from NT people. And of course people are complex and don't necessarily fit into one group or another to exclusion. Still, recognizing how I am different from other people is helpful to me in understanding why I have been able to connect in some ways but not others.