patrick183
Member
Hi,
My name is Patrick and live in Boston, MA, USA. Though I've entertained the thought for many years, I've recently become intensely focused on the idea that I may have Aspergers. I am joining this forum to learn more and read about others' experiences -- perhaps it will shed some light on me.
I am 37 and have always felt intensely different (particularly socially) from a young age. My parents are not the type who would have sought out assessments or special help. I have a 4-year old and a 1-year old. I believe I have tried very hard, particularly during college and the years following, to learn how to fit in socially and blend in well enough at work not to be thought of anything more than eccentric. During the past five years particularly since getting married and having a family, I've found it intensely difficult to focus on work (I'm an engineer) -- something I used to be able to hyperfocus on with ease. My natural preference is to dive into problems for days at a time, and my mind does not want to think about much else during those periods. Having family and a more structured schedule requires me to mentally switch between things far more often, which I am struggling with. I sought out and received an ADHD diagnosis from a psychologist earlier this year, and medication has helped with the attention. I've attended a support group for ADHD and while I share a lot of things in common, I still don't think ADHD by itself really can account for who I am. For example, I'm always on time for things and prefer to be extremely organized. Most people with ADHD I talk to have trouble with time management and organization. I do really struggle connecting with people on any meaningful level, and indeed putting effort into this is really stressful and mentally consuming, and I think that's what bothers me most at this stage of my life.
I now am married and have two kids (4 and 1). Our older child was flagged at three years old by his preschool for developmental delays and unusual behavior, and we had him evaluated by a number of specialists. He has no diagnosis at this point but did meet several of the criteria for autism but not enough at this point to be diagnosed. We have had him treated for almost a year by an occupational therapist for sensory processing disorder. He also displays symptoms consistent with ADHD. He gets absolutely hyperfocused on one interest at a time, which typically has lasted for 6 months. Pretty much *all* he wants to talk about or do during such time are activities relating to such interest. Right now he's on dinosaurs. Last was planets, and before that was countries and continents. Yes, at four years he could identify probably most of the countries on a globe. He is now on an IEP (individualized educational plan) at his pre-kindergarten and gets extra help with social pragmatics (via speech pathologist) and sensory integration (via occupational therapist).
Typing all this out, it seems rather obvious I might have aspergers (along with my son), but I don't know. I'm struggling with what to do about this realization. I have seen a therapist but the topics go all over the place and when I brought up the idea of aspergers before she kind of brushed it aside and seems to want to approach everything as learned behaviors without considering there may be underlying genetic reasons I'm socially different. Hopefully I can figure out some next steps.
Long post -- thanks for reading.
Patrick
My name is Patrick and live in Boston, MA, USA. Though I've entertained the thought for many years, I've recently become intensely focused on the idea that I may have Aspergers. I am joining this forum to learn more and read about others' experiences -- perhaps it will shed some light on me.
I am 37 and have always felt intensely different (particularly socially) from a young age. My parents are not the type who would have sought out assessments or special help. I have a 4-year old and a 1-year old. I believe I have tried very hard, particularly during college and the years following, to learn how to fit in socially and blend in well enough at work not to be thought of anything more than eccentric. During the past five years particularly since getting married and having a family, I've found it intensely difficult to focus on work (I'm an engineer) -- something I used to be able to hyperfocus on with ease. My natural preference is to dive into problems for days at a time, and my mind does not want to think about much else during those periods. Having family and a more structured schedule requires me to mentally switch between things far more often, which I am struggling with. I sought out and received an ADHD diagnosis from a psychologist earlier this year, and medication has helped with the attention. I've attended a support group for ADHD and while I share a lot of things in common, I still don't think ADHD by itself really can account for who I am. For example, I'm always on time for things and prefer to be extremely organized. Most people with ADHD I talk to have trouble with time management and organization. I do really struggle connecting with people on any meaningful level, and indeed putting effort into this is really stressful and mentally consuming, and I think that's what bothers me most at this stage of my life.
I now am married and have two kids (4 and 1). Our older child was flagged at three years old by his preschool for developmental delays and unusual behavior, and we had him evaluated by a number of specialists. He has no diagnosis at this point but did meet several of the criteria for autism but not enough at this point to be diagnosed. We have had him treated for almost a year by an occupational therapist for sensory processing disorder. He also displays symptoms consistent with ADHD. He gets absolutely hyperfocused on one interest at a time, which typically has lasted for 6 months. Pretty much *all* he wants to talk about or do during such time are activities relating to such interest. Right now he's on dinosaurs. Last was planets, and before that was countries and continents. Yes, at four years he could identify probably most of the countries on a globe. He is now on an IEP (individualized educational plan) at his pre-kindergarten and gets extra help with social pragmatics (via speech pathologist) and sensory integration (via occupational therapist).
Typing all this out, it seems rather obvious I might have aspergers (along with my son), but I don't know. I'm struggling with what to do about this realization. I have seen a therapist but the topics go all over the place and when I brought up the idea of aspergers before she kind of brushed it aside and seems to want to approach everything as learned behaviors without considering there may be underlying genetic reasons I'm socially different. Hopefully I can figure out some next steps.
Long post -- thanks for reading.
Patrick
