He just doesn't get it...

[AngelWings17]

I try to explain both my Asperger's and anxiety to my boyfriend but he just doesn't get it. When I'm in public, outside of a house, I'm very nervous and sometimes get sensory overload. I can't get behind the wheel of a car without my anxiety taking over That and with my AS, it'll take me twice as long to learn to drive. He's saying that I'm using both as a crutch, and while that may be true in some senses, I don't do it as often as he says I do. How can I get him to learn about both disorders? Cause I feel like almost everyone who I meet is near reluctant to learn about those disorders.

 

[Markymarkh]

Well it took me 8times to pass my driving test! Lol.

 

[AsheSkyler]

I dunno, I'm fighting that battle too. He doesn't understand how the TV running at 25+ volume all day on top of a toddler running, screaming, and throwing through the house all day, and our incredibly noisy air conditioning unit in the hall next to my door could possibly keep me in sensory overload nearly all day long.

 

[AngelWings17]

I dunno, I'm fighting that battle too. He doesn't understand how the TV running at 25+ volume all day on top of a toddler running, screaming, and throwing through the house all day, and our incredibly noisy air conditioning unit in the hall next to my door could possibly keep me in sensory overload nearly all day long.

Right? I get sensory overload when out in public often. And my Asperger's worsens my anxiety when I'm not in the comfort of a house.

 

[Maelstrom]

"AngelWings17, post: 251084, member: 13245"]I try to explain both my Asperger's and anxiety to my boyfriend but he just doesn't get it. When I'm in public, outside of a house, I'm very nervous and sometimes get sensory overload. I can't get behind the wheel of a car without my anxiety taking over That and with my AS, it'll take me twice as long to learn to drive. He's saying that I'm using both as a crutch, and while that may be true in some senses, I don't do it as often as he says I do. How can I get him to learn about both disorders? Cause I feel like almost everyone who I meet is near reluctant to learn about those disorders.

My sympaties AngelWings17 ,my family knows better and they still work me over on that stuff, (I'm sick to death of hearing the phrase "you have to learn", you wouldn't tell a blind man to learn to see etcetera.
I've become convinced that some people just don't care to see disabilities because then they would feel guilty asking for things they want and have no moral right to.

 

[DC1346]

I try to explain both my Asperger's and anxiety to my boyfriend but he just doesn't get it. When I'm in public, outside of a house, I'm very nervous and sometimes get sensory overload. I can't get behind the wheel of a car without my anxiety taking over That and with my AS, it'll take me twice as long to learn to drive. He's saying that I'm using both as a crutch, and while that may be true in some senses, I don't do it as often as he says I do. How can I get him to learn about both disorders? Cause I feel like almost everyone who I meet is near reluctant to learn about those disorders.

You could try couples therapy ... but really ... if he refuses to understand your condition and is unwilling to learn about why you are the way you are, why are you still with him? Are you with him because you think no one else would accept you? \

You can't force someone to change their attitude or preconceptions.

Sadly, this person may not be the person you were meant to be with.

 

[flynn_gabriel]

I feel your frustration angel, my wife does the same thing to me. She also says I use it as a crutch.

 

[Maelstrom]

"flynn_gabriel, post: 256442, member: 12459"]I feel your frustration angel, my wife does the same thing to me. She also says I use it as a crutch.

Hmmm... I don't wish to make trouble...but your wife mocking these autistic things and implying they aren't real is like scolding a blind man for bumping into stuff. You have my permission to quote me to your wife. So long as she isn't smart enough to track me down, and doesn't like to swing heavy frying pans too much.

 

[DC1346]

So long as she isn't smart enough to track me down, and doesn't like to swing heavy frying pans too much.

Pssssttttt ... he's in Oregon and I'm a chef ... I will loan your wife my best cast iron frying pan. Tell her not to return it with a Maelstrom face shaped dent in the pan.

 

[flynn_gabriel]

Huh.... well were I Northern Nevada, so not too far..... lol. we're working on it. Me being on the spectrum is a recent development. like within the past 6-8months. We've been married 4-5years.

 

[Maelstrom]

Pssssttttt ... he's in Oregon and I'm a chef ... I will loan your wife my best cast iron frying pan. Tell her not to return it with a Maelstrom face shaped dent in the pan.

Sorry! Mael has no lovely wife to chase him around the house with a frying pan.........

 

[DC1346]

Sorry! Mael has no lovely wife to chase him around the house with a frying pan.........

No worries ... I was just trying to see if flynn_gabriel might loan you his. I'll loan out the frying pan. I'm helpful that way. (Grin)

 

[Maelstrom]

Umm...I may be lonely but any guy willing to loan me his wife, (setting the ethics of that aside ), likely isn't doing me any favors. I think I'll pass on that one... And I have a nice cast Iron frying pan, I prefer, to make golden brown potatoes in it, or Mongolian noodles, to being chased with it.

Anyways I can always call up my exgirlfriend anytime and she and her whole family can chase me with frying pans or butcher knives or whatever else makes that messed up bunch happy.

I really don't get why people do all these messed up things to others when they could just be nice and everyone could be happy together???
It's like they are so obsessed with getting what they want in the moment they are totally blind to the long term harm they cause?

 

[Beverly]

I get it too but, that's my own doing. I'm very good at wearing my cool, confident, flawless public façade and, because of that, those close to me have a harder time realizing that isn't the real me, it's an act that stresses me out to no end internally but, I hide it until I am home and safe.

I more or less gave up and, when I need to do something that stresses me, I just put on the act and internalize my anxiety and nerves, get it done then , fall apart later, alone. Not much choice, I've got a high stress, public career and, I've got to look good, no matter how nervous or anxious I feel.