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Featured Have you "outgrown" any ASD-related behaviors?

Discussion in 'General Autism Discussion' started by Nervous Rex, Jan 6, 2020.

  1. Nervous Rex

    Nervous Rex High-functioning autistic V.I.P Member

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    "Outgrown" is in quotes because it's more likely due to learning to cope or mask than "growing up".

    Up to my 20s, I had to compulsively read everything. If there was text in my view, I could not focus on anything else until I had read it. While my siblings looked at the games on the cereal boxes, I would read the nutritional data and ingredients on the side - not because it was interesting to me, but because I had to read it. Sent to play at someone else's house, I couldn't bring myself to engage with the other kid(s) until I had read everything in their room (I still remember the comics I didn't get to finish reading when I got kicked out once).

    I don't remember when it went away. I'm guessing I just got better at filtering - learning to recognize what text I could ignore. In any new place, my eyes still gravitate towards any visible text. I can delay reading it if I know I'm supposed to have higher priorities, like actually talking to people, though I will start looking for text the second I get bored.
     
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  2. Judge

    Judge Well-Known Member

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    Indeed, one doesn't "outgrow" their autistic traits and behaviors. Our autism itself is for life.

    But we can attempt to manage them the best they can. And to be able to identify and accept those traits and behaviors which may individually be neurologically "hard-wired". Ones we may not be able to do anything about no matter how much will power we might have to the contrary.

    Dynamics that always remind me of the serenity prayer:

    God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
    Courage to change the things I can,
    And wisdom to know the difference.
     
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  3. Fino

    Fino Alex V.I.P Member

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    Similarly, I've "outgrown" the need to read every word of a book, meaning I can now skip a preface or introduction if I'd like and--sadly I outgrew this after college--I don't need to read every word of a textbook. We'd be assigned chapters 2 and 5, for example, and I'd read 1-5, and so on. I don't know if that's something more OCD than ASD or if it's both because the OCD is related to the ASD. Who knows. Maybe someone here! I don't know. Anyway...:rolleyes:
     
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  4. Judge

    Judge Well-Known Member

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    I know what you mean. At times it's confusing as to what drives what. :eek:

    I suppose in general I'm more understanding of my autism than my OCD. But then when I close my front door and shut out the rest of the world, my autism isn't usually an issue.

    Conversely my OCD follows me all the way to bed without fail. And remains there when I wake up as well. :oops:
     
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  5. Kalinychta

    Kalinychta Well-Known Member

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    You attribute that to autism? It sounds like an OCD type of behavior. Was it a stim maybe?
     
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  6. Nervous Rex

    Nervous Rex High-functioning autistic V.I.P Member

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    I attribute it to autism, because that's what I've been diagnosed with. I do have quite a few traits that could point toward CDO*, but I don't have any diagnosis in that area.

    *CDO because the letters should be alphabetized!
     
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  7. Judge

    Judge Well-Known Member

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    LOL. "CDO". Yup. :p

    Ironic to think I was diagnosed with OCD and clinical depression, but autism never came up. Though it was at time when Aspergers Syndrome was only beginning to take root with the APA.

    Who knows? Maybe some day medical science will just throw their hands up and call it all a "vicious circle". :oops:
     
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  8. Varzar

    Varzar Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I've "outgrown" a number of the traits... I love how we are all using "outgrown" in quotes.. It's so appropriate.. ;)
    A lot of my social anxiety has faded a lot over time.
    I can with some people make steady eye contact.
    I can better control my emotions now (to avoid meltdowns or just burying them).
    I'm better at cognitive empathy now because I spent years studying NTs body language to figure out what they are thinking/feeling..
    I can mask very effectively without feeling exhaustion.

    Which is to say, none of them have actually gone away.. But I figure learning to deal with them is like training different muscle groups. They all get stronger as you exercise, and you get tired less quickly when working those muscles on a daily basis.
     
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  9. dragonfire42

    dragonfire42 Perpetual outsider

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    I don't think I've really "outgrown" any autistic traits. If anything, my autism has gotten worse, or at least become more apparent, over time.
     
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  10. Thinx

    Thinx Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I've "grown in" to mine... since understanding about having high autistic traits or Aspergers, I stopped worrying about making eye contact, and just let myself not do so more often. I do like to read notices or text yes, I am drawn to, including the writing on the road and road signs, notices etc. Not compulsively, though keenly. I sometimes find it hard to contextualise, however.

    I also read newspaper headlines as they lie about or flutter past on windy days.. and writing on vans, bus adverts etc.

    I also feel fine about silence, not having a social circle - or even a social arc - and not too bad about my disorganisation and frequent muddly moments. Whatever. But then, I am 61 and eleven twelfths now...
     
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  11. Aspychata

    Aspychata Serenity waves, beachy vibes

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    Not sure if l have outgrown It. But in early elementary years, if l was talking to my friend during class time, my punishment was writing words out of the dictionary which l thought of as some wonderful task that l had been awarded. It was so much more interesting then actual class time. I actually looked forward to it.

    When l worked in account receivables for big PR firm, because l scan headlines, l was checking to see if our ad had been placed (business newspaper) and found out our biggest client was being sued for nonpayment and immedately brought it to supervisor' s attention because this client was in the 6 digit level of receivables, (tourist industry).

    Do think we change, we become softer versions of ourselves. When reading posts here, l realise that was what l went thru 20 years ago, but don't anymore.
     
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  12. Judge

    Judge Well-Known Member

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    Excellent question.

    I think a lot about how I suspect the aging process has evolved me. Some of it good, some of it bad I suppose.

    In terms of social matters I'm more inclined to simply lament that I'm burned out. That at a certain point in time enabled by being self employed, I know longer cared what people thought of me one way or another. Admittedly for me that was a big "monkey off my back". Calling my own shots in making a living was precarious at times, but it gave me a sense of self-confidence I never had working for others.

    Though I still care what the IRS thinks...lol. As for relationships...well I think I pretty much gave up on the prospect some 20 years ago.

    Seriously though I still have to mask myself in part to those I interact with in the real world, but it's nowhere near as pressing as it used to be. Age, status, wealth. I suppose such things all play a role in how they can alter our autistic selves to various degrees and perhaps gain a greater degree of comfort being in our own skins.
     
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  13. Crossbreed

    Crossbreed Neur-D Missionary ☝

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    I wouldn't say "outgrown," but I can say "devalued." I know people in real life with "CDO." (I don't appear to have that.)

    I still give in to my perseverations when I have idle time on my hands, but I have become a little better at setting them aside when I need to be somewhere else. (Most of them aren't worth the effort invested; at least, not when that effort rightfully belongs somewhere else.)

    One of my sons gave me a Gear Ball for birthday present (last year) that I have been hesitant to scramble, knowing the time that it will extort from me (to restore it).

    I still embrace naturally occurring problem-solving, however, like reconciling my books (as the need arises).
     
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  14. LucyPurrs

    LucyPurrs NT, INFJ V.I.P Member

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    For those who want to work on modifying their OCD stuff there's a good book called Brain Lock. It's really interesting and diligently working at modifying the behaviors can result in some brain changes. It's by Jeffrey Schwartz.
     
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  15. Rasputin

    Rasputin ASD / Aspie V.I.P Member

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    I outgrew the extreme shyness I had in high school and college. However, I am still not very social, except for a couple friends from church. I have worked on making eye contact at work and greeting people, but away from work I avoid interacting.

    I haven't really outgrown much, but have learned to mask a lot of issues. Unfortunately, my wife is not able to handle it when I remove that mask. To alleviate stress I enjoy escaping to a good movie, even if I have seen it many times.
     
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  16. Gracey

    Gracey Well-Known Member

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    Not outgrown as such, just trying different approaches. Different management techniques.
    New understanding & perspective.

    Chasing progress, not perfection.
    particularly around stress and anxiety.
     
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  17. GrownupGirl

    GrownupGirl Tempermental Artist

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    There were a lot of things I used to do that were mostly out of co-existing anxiety or guilt rather than Asperger's itself when I was younger.

    For example, in the early 2000's, I removed the voice boxes from any dolls or stuffed animals I had because I felt that toys should run on imagination and nothing else. Interactive toys were "bad". To this day I wonder what was I thinking.

    I spent most of my late teens and young adult years dealing with restless leg syndrome. It was pure torture. I think it may have been a side effect of whatever drugs I was put on at the time. Drugs that were supposed to make me calmer and more relaxed. Yeah, right.:mad:

    Before I was diagnosed, I had trouble controlling the volume of my voice. I just spoke too loud, especially in public. And naturally I would get louder when I was excited or upset. After my diagnosis I eventually got better at speaking with an indoor voice.

    I also used to talk people's ears off a lot about my interests. When I look back on that I feel really embarrassed and cringe-worthy. Learning to listen to others talk about their own interests was one of the hardest things I had to do. It feels like whenever I had a conversation with another person my mother or social worker would take me aside and tell me everything I unintentionally did wrong.
     
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  18. Nervous Rex

    Nervous Rex High-functioning autistic V.I.P Member

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    That is simply delightful. I love the imagery of a child deciding that "I can imagine on my own - I don't need you to do it for me!"
     
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  19. Nervous Rex

    Nervous Rex High-functioning autistic V.I.P Member

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    I think the reason I think of myself as having "grown out of" compulsively reading everything is because it changed without me realizing it.

    I have consciously worked on regulating my emotions, controlling what emotions I allow others to see, making eye contact, engaging in conversational pleasantries (hello, goodbye, please, and thank-you, etc), being kind and cheerful, and many other things.

    Some are still deliberate efforts and can still be called "masking", and some have become second nature so that I wouldn't call them "masking" anymore.

    Perhaps, over time, I got more and more practice in prioritizing other things over compulsive reading, and have learned to adapt. But it happened without me being aware of it.
     
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  20. Bolletje

    Bolletje Overly complicated potato V.I.P Member

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    I’ve learned to make eye contact, I’ve learned to speak at an audible volume and I’ve learned to make small talk.
     
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