Have you felt hated, or excluded?

[142857]

I've seen a few of the younger members who feel that they are hated because of having AS.

I always felt more excluded. Even when I am in situations where people seem to like me and accept me as I am, I am often excluded from much that goes on because I don't "fit in".

 

[Calvert]

I would say that I am more excluded and "don't fit in" than people hating me.  I have always felt like this, even before diagnoses.

It's possible that most of the bullying I received through childhood was because of them somehow knowing I was different. For example, my quietness and social awkwardness. 

 

[Emor]

As I stated in the previous post I do think people hate me, because my personality is ****.
In high school most people think there's such a thing as a 'bad person'- and I meet all the criteria for that.
I personally identify as a nihilist, but treating high school moral relativism or w.e as some sort of moral objective- I'm the spawn of satan. I never wear make-up, I'm not dependent on being around people, I don't conform to my gender to the fullest extent possible, I don't talk about sex constantly, I spend most of the time I have alone, I hang around with other immoral people like nerds, etc.
That's really not a good explanation, but you get my picture. It's totally understandable when you're placed in such a society that you'd hate people like me. Especially when you're working your ass off to conform to these irrational and stupid standards. I mean, why should retards like me get away with it? No, I must be punished by being rejected and verbally abused and hated, etc.
I've spent a lot, and I mean a lot, of time thinking about this. I could write pages and I still wouldn't have explained everything fully. That's like a ****** short watered down version.
EMZ=]
EDIT: Outside of school and around adults with-in school people take an instant dislike to me but that's down to them judging people superficially.

 

[superboyian]

I seem to feel those feelings quite often actually but meh, I just try and think of the opposite of what I'm thinking, with me, I rather not show my weak side of me.
But back when I used to be in school, these feelings I was feeling at the time was very strong that I even ended up being very depressed but I never really blamed AS for it, I never really thought of it at the time. :lol:

 

[mikeg26843]

i would say a bit of both, mostly excluded for obvious reasons that i cba to type

 

[poodlepiglet]

Mostly excluded. Hated, not really.

 

[Ana54]

I feel hated AND excluded a lot. Lately it's more the hatred.


Being sensitive is why I am hated in the first place, and being hated just makes me more sensitive.


Being excluded is hard on an understimulated person like me.

 

[hikikomori]

I never felt hated. People don't hate something that is completely worthless for them, they just move it out of their way, or squash like a bug. And that's how I felt in my school days, like something non-existent, something not even worth hating.

...Oh snap, I just sounded like a little whiny emo ***** Luckily, that was only the past. The days I actually gave a **** what other people think about me are now far, FAR behind me.

 

[Emor]

...Oh snap, I just sounded like a little whiny emo ***** Luckily, that was only the past. The days I actually gave a **** what other people think about me are now far, FAR behind me.

You just sounded like a narcissist there.
Not giving a **** about what people think of you makes it basically impossible to function independently in society.
EMZ=]

 

[hikikomori]

Not giving a **** about what people think of you makes it basically impossible to function independently in society.

Well, in fact I don't function in the society anymore, and never will, most likely until my parents die and there will be nobody to feed me.

But you made me curious, what makes you think someone else's opinion is THAT important in life? Because I don't think it is, unless you're a celebrity or a public figure, of course, since in that case your reputation is what earns you money.

(Damn, I tend to go offtopic a lot, ban me or something if I'm doing anything wrong.)

 

[Emor]

Well, in fact I don't function in the society anymore, and never will, most likely until my parents die and there will be nobody to feed me.

But you made me curious, what makes you think someone else's opinion is THAT important in life? Because I don't think it is, unless you're a celebrity or a public figure, of course, since in that case your reputation is what earns you money.

(Damn, I tend to go offtopic a lot, ban me or something if I'm doing anything wrong.)

Sorry if I offended you .
Well, people's opinions of one's self effect how they treat you. I used to say, 'I don't care what people think of me, simply how they act towards me' but then I came to the conclusion that they were basically the same thing and it just made me sound awkward. Obviously, if someone thinks I'm a total ***** but will act nice around me and not say anything behind my back, then, it really doesn't matter, but that's rarely, if ever the case.
So while I do agree with you, someone's opinion doesn't matter to an extent, the effect of their opinion almost always does.
EMZ=]

 

[superboyian]

(Damn, I tend to go offtopic a lot, ban me or something if I'm doing anything wrong.)

I don't ban people when they go off topic, you'd find I'm actually pretty laid back.

The only way you would get a ban is if you hurt members delibertly to get their reactions and ignored the moderators warnings but we ain't that harsh here, you'd find that were pretty awesome guys here.

Going off topic is common, yes even the mods do them. :shiftyninja: I guess there is no harm in that xD. (but it just be easier to keep to the topic so we don't people don't lose track of what the topic is about).

 

[Sipe]

Excluded, when I was younger. But that was my own fault. I liked being alone and I was also kinda scared when I went to junior high school; It was new school and there was only "normal" people so that gave me more stress. The schools I was before were schools whose students have had learning difficulties and some of them had Asperger as well so I at that time I did`t have much experience about "normal" people. So, was excluded, because of my own fault. Luckily, the girls of the class took good care of me. I actually had my first crush towards one of them at that time. Excluded, but never hated. Not that I know of anyway.

Now days it`s completely different. I have changed and I`m no longer considered excluded.

 

[lyricalillusions]

I've felt both hated & excluded, but most often feel excluded, so that's what I picked.

 

[henrypatterson]

DEFINITELY! But with one qualification. Since I've been diagnosed, I've been able to access several really great therapists; who have not just help me to seperate 'my contribution' where there are problems socially; but also how to 'go above and beyond', how to in theory meet people on their terms or from their perspective. It is SOOO hard; but slowly, slowly and surely, it is starting to work a little.

The biggest thing for me that has helped, has been avoiding DEFENSIVE environments! Because to us, they always have to be experienced as offensive. Or if I have to go, try and meditate or get distracted, and just accept that I DON'T HAVE TO fit in, can keep my head down even if it makes me seem weird.

People respond really badly to sensitivity; but it is our unique beauty! so I say we just have to find the times and places, the people, but never ever believe that this is OUR fault; or that others and their ignorance, fear, and insensitivity ...matter. (Maybe they do, from a sensory-overload point. But otherwise, we are the angels of the world, innocent and beautiful.) We DON'T NEED TO APOLOGIZE!!

Peace.

 

[henrypatterson]

To 'Sipe': You really look like Billy Corgan, I don't know if anyone ever told you that? Corgan is probably an aspie; and he says these things too, you show check out his dvd "When All Goes Wrong".

Be strong, because if people don't see our beauty it is because they are blind. It takes intelligence to hate, after all. But there are lots of people who aren't! We just have to start getting our community some 'solidarity'; then it's our turn to rock!

Peace.

 

[Quasar]

More excluded for me, but this was more when I was younger... my family(mostly my aunt and grandmother) often went on trips with my cousins and I didn't really go many places cause of being eccentric and difficult. This did get made-up some as I got older though, I've been to some cool places. Mostly, my exclusion was centered around my early school days.

 

[MadGiraffe]

At first I actually was generally accepted, when I was a small kid. Some kids might have hated me, some might have ignored me without me noticing. As I was quite the meddling kid, always trying to help other kids because I progressed much faster than the rest, damn I must've been annoying. I still am, but I do try to keep it to a bare minimum, as annoyed people can be really annoying.

Exclusion, was something that grew on me and kick started by a teacher that hated me and excluded me from the class because I didn't do my homework, stomping my confidence and social skills I had built up till then into the ground in the process. I even started to wonder if I was actually human (the start of my obsession with monsters).

But now, I've kind of accepted and even embraced the exclusion thing (hence my screenname), sometimes people are still annoyed by me, but it's minimal and often it doesn't really matter.
And I've found that quite a lot of people actually like how I'm 'different', so I'm cool with it. Just stick to the people that respect it. And awkwardly try to manage away around or keep at arms length the people that don't. Oh I've tried to get people change their mind about me, but more often than not I've only made it worse.

I can be very sociable, if I want to. Just as long the contact is functional and we're not going to start to talk about feelings, because I might hurt them...which people don't seem to like. And weirdly enough, I don't like hurting people as well. Darn empathy.

 

[umbrellabeach]

I always feel excluded. The only times I feel hated is when I get into a fight or argument with someone and they act all offended and mad at me. Other times, I just feel excluded. It's very hard for me to get and stay involved in a conversation and I hate it when friends of mine go off with their friends that I don't know. It makes me feel ignored.

 

[CJinherPJs]

I would say I've felt excluded more than I've felt hated and, like some people here, this was at school. My former "best friend" and a couple of others were the worst, but I don't want to waste my battery life going off on one about them. It's all in the past now anyway.