Have you ever met a dumb narcissist who tried to bring you down?

[lovely_darlingprettybaby]

Well some people are supposed to be nice but I will never let some dumb narcissist who is incapable of forgiveness or any type of rational thinking try to get the best of me.
I will not go down without a fight.
Never let anyone push you over or drag you down, always stand up for yourself.
As an autistic I always will now, I probably will not win but at least I stood my ground so one day people can understand me and care about my pain and how I was right for it.
Even if you do not win, you cannot let others just push you over or push you around and not appreciate you like you did nothing for anyone.
So I never will
I do not care if someone tries to hurt me now I will always stand up for myself and sleep in peace knowing I did my best and deserve the best.
And am proud of my strength and resilience and I will not let jealous minded women who cannot find a light of their own win over me. I will fight them back if need be but in other situations I will just forget them and move on with my life because they were not worth it.
I think their are 2 kinds of narcissistic...
Ones who have a go at you and then realise you do not fit their box or you break ties or do not talk to them anymore and they leave you alone.
Or 2
Ones that will manipulate you to the death. And be happy to see your downfall.. those are the ones you watch for people who are happy to see you fall on your face.
The first kind may be a bit mean but if you do not bother them they will not bother you
This is just a lesson for people who struggle with abuse from narcissists.
The reality is I am I think autistic with disabilities so that can make me insecure especially with always new horrible rubbish pushed down my throat
But I am also am empath so I do love certain elements about myself and respect myself and will not go down without a fight even if I do not win.
I think narcissists can be more insecure than empaths but people with disabilities can still be very insecure so I cannot let anyone try to push me down anymore
I will not stand for it or let them win.
Because I deserve more and anyone who says otherwise is blind.
And also too I do not blame myself for past triggers or setting myself free from that garbage. I am a lot better now in that way.
I am a happy person it is just often people who drag me down and steal my light and well deserved and earned happiness.

So the lesson is never let anyone steal your light, choose people who are happy to see you happy and shine alongside you like fireflies.
You do not have to be like-minded.
And you do not have to love someone who does not have your best interests at heart or uses your pain against you.

 

[Cryptid]

Met one? I was raised by one!

 

[Rodafina]

@lovely_darlingprettybaby
Your post makes me think that your energy may be better spent building and maintaining healthy boundaries than engaging with the type of people you describe here. Fighting back all the time is an exhausting use of mental resources and it may be a better approach to limit your time with people that make you feel this way while putting your attention on people and activities in your life that support your well being.

Looking at your posts collectively, it seems like you give substantial energy to people that have hurt you. While I respect your pain and past traumas, I wonder if you can build a new world for yourself in which those who hurt you are not the focus of your attention.

 

[Misty Avich]

While I try not to label everyone as a narcissist, I have met a woman who I felt was a narcissist. Or something anyway.

She came across as really nice and friendly but really she was a snob and looked down on everyone even though she's a working class citizen too.
She'd often stab people she's really nice to in the back. I know we can all do this to an extent but she done it for no reason. She'd make out she's your friend, then as soon as your back is turned she'd say that she doesn't care about you at all. So she's probably just nosy.
She lied a lot.
She thought she was God's gift to men, and would act all smug about it.
If she did have a man she'd expect the most expensive gifts, like diamond jewellery and the most expensive brands of perfume. If the man wasn't rich enough she'd dump him then play the victim.
She'd sulk if she didn't get her own way.
She'd flirt with men but if other women pointed out her flirtatious behaviour she'd get all offended, or put her nose in the air and say "I don't need to flirt, they come on to me."

She made me feel bad once, when a guy I really liked asked her out. She knew I liked him, so she smugly told me about him asking her out and she turned him down. I felt so crushed and I told her that she didn't need to tell me that.

Then when she found out I had been given a job at the same place she worked, she left the company. I know that was because I had figured her out, and narcissists do often run away when someone figures them out. She likes having people fooled, and she had me fooled at first, but because I'm not as gullible as I look I sort of sussed her out, like most women did. Men didn't seem to suss her out, they just saw her as this beautiful flirty woman.

 

[Angular Chap]

I was targeted and bullied by a teacher at primary school who I now realise was a narcissist. I wont go into a lot of detail just to keep things light, but she showed all the usual signs, loved to tell lies about people, make things up, false accusations at any opportunity, played the victim, managed to turn my own parents against me, she was in newspapers and even on TV, held in high regard locally.

I think their are 2 kinds of narcissistic...
Ones who have a go at you and then realise you do not fit their box or you break ties or do not talk to them anymore and they leave you alone.
Or 2
Ones that will manipulate you to the death. And be happy to see your downfall.. those are the ones you watch for people who are happy to see you fall on your face.
The first kind may be a bit mean but if you do not bother them they will not bother you
This is just a lesson for people who struggle with abuse from narcissists.

Yes, I think you are right. I noticed the same things, about giving them what they want.

I like to think of narcissists as con artists, scammers and fraudsters. Only instead of scamming people into giving them money, they scam people into giving them attention. If you don't give them the attention, they leave you alone. When people ask "how do I deal with narcissists?" I say don't. Dealing with narcissists is giving them attention and empowers them even more. Easier said than done sometimes, since they use all kinds of clever tricks, the same tricks used by fraudsters.

And of course, many professional con artists are narcissists, they go hand in hand with each other, using the same tricks and enjoying the thrill of the con just as much as the money.

 

[Judge]

Actually when I give such a question much thought, of the few people I have come across who may fit such a description, I found them to be clever and manipulative at the very least.

Though to seriously consider such a claim I had to have a certain amount of exposure to them over time. Which usually reflected meeting such personalities at work, and nowhere else. When in most instances, I would simply make a concerted effort to avoid them. Much like any criminal scammer that attempts to interact with me over the phone.

To be vigilant, but also avoidant in as much as was possible.

“A clever person solves a problem. A wise person avoids it.” -Albert Einstein ​

 

[Kaz2012]

Yes - the so-called friend who spoke for my ex and told me that my ex was breaking up with me, even though my ex was telling me nothing was yet decided. Their friendship was really weird - the 'friend' was like an obsessive teenager and did the love bombing stuff. Now we have seen through her and her lapdog of a husband and they are playing the victim. That us ending the friendship and telling them some home truths about their behaviour and interference has affected their mental health - but of course no consideration of how her actions affected me and my ex. We have both seen through her now and we are on our way to fixing our issues and hopefully reconciling.

I regret ever bringing her into our lives- I met her at the gym as we had the same personal trainer and of course she was nice and I thought I had made a friend and was happy....how wrong I was. I have learned my lesson now and am sticking with my one or two real friends. I have decided that it is better to have a couple of real ones than a friend like her.

But yeah - a narcissist. When I told my psychologist what happened she called it straight away. These people are not worth your time.

 

[Misty Avich]

Also, speaking of narcissists, I had to contend with one at school too. She was my best friend when we were little, but as we got older (adolescence) she started to hate me.
She wasn't the most liked girl in our class, and she also wasn't popular at all. But she somehow knew how to dominate the group, and I think a lot of it was masking. I could sense some social awkwardness in her that I think she hid by picking on me. That's what a lot of socially awkward girls often did, which made it hard to find the right friends when you're a girl on the spectrum. I found it was easier for Aspie boys, because although the pressure to be tough and confident is a lot greater on boys, I think the quieter or socially awkward types tend to find each other and form a group. Girls were a little more complicated than that.
So anyway, this girl in my class done all her best to exclude me and isolate me from the other girls, just because she knew I was the worthless one for having a diagnosis that she was, *sigh*, told about without my consent. I think I would have fitted in better if she hadn't of been about.
One time I got fed up with her bullying me, so I told my older brother. He always had the instinct to protect me, so he and his friends approached the girl and told her not to pick on me again. But unfortunately that just made her worse. She hated me after that, and said that me and my brother had 'ruined her whole summer', never mind that she had ruined most of my school life, social life and my self-esteem.

Maybe she wasn't a narcissist, as it's unfair to call everyone you don't get on with a narcissist, but she definitely had issues. It wasn't her family, because my mum used to know her parents and they were actually very nice and she had a lovely home. I think she just had issues with her own self-esteem. But that's still no excuse to be a bully, because I had issues with my self-esteem too but I never took it out on another sensitive child. I was always so kind (which is why I get mad whenever Aspies accuse me of lacking empathy).
I think bullies are selfish. Very selfish. They don't feel anything when making their victim unhappy, but if someone makes them unhappy they don't like it.

Did you know that my self-esteem hit rock bottom so badly that I actually felt sorry for her when the teacher picked everyone's partners in gym and she was made to be my partner?

 

[Neri]

I was raised by a narcissistic person and then had 7 children with another. Still licking my wounds and in recovery.

 

[Au Naturel]

Well some people are supposed to be nice but I will never let some dumb narcissist who is incapable of forgiveness or any type of rational thinking try to get the best of me.

I have met some very intelligent narcissists. They are much scarier.

 

[lovely_darlingprettybaby]

Actually when I give such a question much thought, of the few people I have come across who may fit such a description, I found them to be clever and manipulative at the very least.

Though to seriously consider such a claim I had to have a certain amount of exposure to them over time. Which usually reflected meeting such personalities at work, and nowhere else. When in most instances, I would simply make a concerted effort to avoid them. Much like any criminal scammer that attempts to interact with me over the phone.

To be vigilant, but also avoidant in as much as was possible.

“A clever person solves a problem. A wise person avoids it.” -Albert Einstein ​

I wish like hell I could avoid it.
I do not know how someone you love and have done so much for let people in higher places push you around like this when you are unwell and vulnerable and have done so much for others.
And put yourself in violent meltdowns where you are hitting yourself so hard when you are unwell because he cannot stop letting people take advantage of me.
If I coyod avoid it i would be gone 2 aexs flat I would be happy if I did not have to get along with narcissists who are hellbent on stealing my light and are egotistical about their position in life without showing any gratitude to the one who got them there. It is like I rarely believe they even cared about me at all before I met them and I am so humble.
And honestly I will not doubt the information I know...if you want me to doubt it do not tell me.
But I am only human with human limitations.

 

[Bobsterkitty]

Your thread title made me laugh. Of course! Narcicism, like all cluster-B PDs, is pretty much borne from trauma ( plus some underlying epi/genetics.) The self is, in many cases, gone; a shell is created early in life, after the trauma, and that self is elevated to a god that is defended at all costs. There is often no substance, but the individual claims there is. So, for us on the spectrum with often "too much" substance and "too much" empathy, this is the worst. We also may appear to be exploitable as a ready narcissistic supply. When we are not, we are punished severely, all the way to losing livelihood or assault (meant to stop our prickly honesty or stop us, as in kill us), depending on the particular flavor of the cluster B individual (see dark triad and tetrad). So, the best option is to steer clear of all cluster B; that is what I do. A simple narcissist is not that much of a biggy. Still, while there are 4 PDs under cluster B PDs as per the DSM, the reality is that they, too, are on a spectrum depending on culture, gender, upbringing, class, original or sustained trauma, and so much more. I am not taking chances; so many have first charmed me (usually in a job environment), then brought me down, sabotaged, and further kicked me. None of that anymore.

 

[Aspychata]

Apparently, empathy liked people attract narcissistic types. So our caring nature is a huge draw for them. You have to enter a contract in dealing with them, because as others have said, they are a huge ball of insecurities. Some are just criminally bent also. Some are extremely manipulative, because that's how they tackle anything. I sorta walk onto their stage, and try to figure just how screwed up they really are. My mom is a no win situation, through constant back-stabbing by her, l don't try for a serious connection, as she always deceives me. Boundaries are so important with these types. The criminal narcissistic will not honor any of your boundaries. I try to think about insecurities and how far people go to cover these up. Being insecure isn't a horrible thing, but to these types, it's a permanent deep black worm hole. If you see it in that light, you can observe and understand them better. But sociopaths and psychopaths can be dangerous, and that's where you need to start to beware that you maybe dealing with this and not garden variety narcissistic person.

 

[Kisa the tea]

Yeah. I first met him 27 years ago. Hes supposed to be my dad. He is a horrible man who did not care for either of his children, cheated on my mother, threatened her and is a member of a very problematic group historically.