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Has anyone else decided they don't want children?

Mattymatt

Imperfectly Perfect
I am just curious how many other folks out there have decided against having children. I know that I have because I wouldn't want to put anyone through the kind of hell that I had to go through as a child and adult. There is too great a chance for me passing autism on to a child and it's probably best for me to end my lineage with me. I don't see myself even adopting because I struggle to take care of myself, let alone a young one in need of care. The world is overpopulated anyway and there is no compelling need for us as a species to reproduce like rabbits.
 

kay

Well-Known Member
I don't have any and don't want them. Not for fear of passing on anything, but just because I don't like kids. Never did. They are noisy.
 

FreeDiver

How long can you hold your breath?
V.I.P Member
I don't want them because they are both noisy and too expensive to raise. I don't think that I could stand to be woke up at 3am by a screaming kid.

Even a lot of NT's are choosing to not have kids because in this high paced world. Most people just don't have the time or the money to do so. I've read an article about people in Japan are passing up on having children because no one has any time(and money) to raise any. And it's causing a real crisis over there at the population starts to grow old and there are no young ones to take their place.
 

mw2530

Well-Known Member
I always thought I would want kids when I was younger. Then at some point it became, well I wouldn't be heart broken if I didn't have kids. Now it is probably 50-50 at best if I have kids. I've struggled so much that I don't know that I could raise another human being. Even if I found the right person, I'd want to spend several years together before having children. I'd want to enjoy the alone time with my lady. ;) I feel like I missed out on just about everything during adolescence, teenage years, and basically the whole decade of my 20's. I can't get back those valuable experiences and that time. How to raise a child when I feel like I never got to be one myself? So there are two facets to it. Do you desire to have children? Then if so, is it possible? I don't know that I can answer yes to either. Biological clock is ticking. I'd have the financial wherewithal to support a child, but there are so many other things that would need to fall into place.
 

Tom

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
I didn't think I'd want children, but two surprises later I was glad I did. The minute they are born (I was there) something clicked in my brain and I loved them totally. I think there is a big difference between other people's kids and your own.
 

Mary Anne

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
No no no. When very young, I knew I would never want them. Got pregnant first time I ever had sex. Put an end to that, and never regretted it.
 

Suzanne

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
Found out first year of our marriage that things were bad on the male side and succeeded in getting pregnant 3 times, but all ended in miscarriage. Actually, one ended in miss miscarriage ie fetus died inside of me due to medical negligence.

Knowing the facts about children and the responsibility and how this world is, sadly did not stop my heart moaning for what was not happening UNTIL just saturday gone.

I was watching a young mum with her little daughter and all without the gnoring sense of lonliness that always hits me that drags me further away from my own species. I saw her suck deeply on a dummy, before placing it into her child's mouth and seen this action so many times and of course, it is to clean it; I get it, but for me it raised such an distaste that I thought: thank goodness I am not a mother!

Sorry, I know I sound as though I am generalising here, because there are many who are more, well, discreet perhaps is the word; but I have seen it or raising a child up high and smelling to see if they need changing lol

Then there is the eating. Oh my life! I have a weak tummy anyway and to deal with a baby being sick, is not my idea of fun and I could hardly ask my husband to clear it up :confused::D

So, at the grand age of 48, I am glad that I am not a mother!
 

clg114

Still crazy, after all these years.
Staff member
V.I.P Member
I do not want to have any more children. However, we have really enjoyed the five that we had. In fact, I think that I have had about as much fun as one man can stand.
 

Bolletje

Overly complicated potato
V.I.P Member
I’m scared of having children with more severe autism than my own. I wouldn’t want to inflict that on them. Which is why I’m still in the “no kids”-camp.
That, and I’m not sure how well I’d be able to deal with the crying and the noise.
 

Thinx

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
Imaginatively I wanted them and I did have the opportunity to be a step parent, so I had some of the benefits and my ex partners children were great, I loved them and still hear how they are doing, they mostly have children themselves now. I never felt in a secure enough relationship to have any of my own, plus the culturally assigned mother's role didn't appeal to me, I wanted to be the dad...
 

Suzanne

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
I don't have any and don't want them. Not for fear of passing on anything, but just because I don't like kids. Never did. They are noisy.

Ok, at last I will admit it, I DON'T LIKE children. It was always lurking at the back of my mind like an embarrassed whisper.

However, if I see a child being mistreated etc, I cannot just stand back and let it happen. I have to try and say something and I HATE the abuse of children. But other than that, I have groaned inside each time, I was lumbered with a child to "keep them busy" and it seems I do a good job ie: you are so natural with children. Ahh, perhaps because I am a child lol
 

SusanLR

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
I never had the desire to have children.
The time has past to even be able biologically anyway.
I'm glad of that for various reasons.
So, no, no kids for me.
 

Isadoorian

Welcomer of Newcomers
V.I.P Member
No, I don't

Mainly due to the fact that I'd rather not contribute to Overpopulation and I wouldn't be able to handle it mentally; plus it's a drain on funds that could be used on more important things like Food, Rent, Clothes, Bills, etc. etc., especially with how crazy things are getting to be price wise

Plus I never really thought of it growing up and I'm happy to say that my parents are supportive of my Childfree stance, even if my dad occasionally bugs me (in a good way) if I'm going to have them :p
 

Progster

Grown sideways to the sun
V.I.P Member
No, I don't have children and never wanted to have them. I always thought I wouldn't make a good mother and that I wouldn't be able to cope. Also, the whole idea of giving birth is repugnant and terrifies me!! I don't want to go through that!!
 

Iamnotarabot

Well-Known Member
My point of view about this topic changes a lot depending on my own feelings at the moment;

Iv always been more interested in raisin a child than being in couple , I dont know why, And I think I still want to.
The fact that I might be autistic is new to me , only few months, and I dont think it changed how I actually see the world etc...
I think autism is part of manking since the beginning , The problem is that our modern society is less and less tolerant for people on the spectrum( thats the paradox, we are trying to raising awarness but the way society is shaped nowadays is harder for us., but we need to stay strong in my opinion, my mother told me to have children now she know I may be on the spectrum; but I dont realy care. It will happen one day at my own pace.

The only thing I have to keep in mind is that I will have to take responsibilies.
 

Bella Pines

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
Having children is a personal choice, not just for the ASD community but for everyone. It's also a tremendous commitment and responsibility.

However, when weighing up the pros and cons of breeding, I didn't factor in ASD as a negative. Quite the reverse. I wish there were more aspies in the world.
 

Iamnotarabot

Well-Known Member
Maybe it would be even worst for a parent on the spectrum to have a NT child , I mean, it may be harder to connect ?
But its true that the possibility of having a child with a severe autism is a bit scary.
 

Adora

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
I have decided I don’t want children,while I do like children I fear about passing on my issues onto my child and I also believe that I wouldn’t be able to cope or handle the responsibility.
 

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