Happy weekend!

[Lord Riot]

A casual Google search led me to this site.

I was finally diagnosed as being on 'the spectrum' last year, and reading the comments on here made me realise there are so many others like me. Where were you all when I was at school, wondering why I was obsessed with aeroplanes and too scared to talk to girls I liked!?

As I've grown up, I can have a normal job (though have lost two as not proactive enough - is that an Aspie trait?) and my own house. I do overcompensate with material things (car and clothes and gym), but I do genuinely prefer reading about wildlife, astronomy or history than going to a nightclub or anything.

I struggle with queuing and patience, and sometimes can be OTT confident and other times want to shrink away from all social contact. I used to think I was just immature and a late developer but I guess it's the autism.

Do any of you think being both a people pleaser and selfish at the same time is familiar to you, or is that nothing to do with autism? And I'm so bad at gauging how what I say and do makes others feel. Is that 'normal' aspie too?

 

[Blast off]

Welcome to the site ! All of what you describe I too experience, other than the monetary aspects. I struggle with keeping jobs, due to being overwhelmed and overstimulated. I think coming here will help you to become more social even if it is via the internet, and you'll find that people who go through the same struggles will understand you more. Hope you like it here!

 

[Southern Discomfort]

though have lost two as not proactive enough - is that an Aspie trait?

If you mean you don't take initiative then I think so. I have that problem and there's other out there who are the same.

I can some across as immature at times too, thing is when I'm in a relaxed in environment with people I know.

Welcome to the family.

 

[Lord Riot]

Welcome to the site ! All of what you describe I too experience, other than the monetary aspects. I struggle with keeping jobs, due to being overwhelmed and overstimulated. I think coming here will help you to become more social even if it is via the internet, and you'll find that people who go through the same struggles will understand you more. Hope you like it here!

Thanks! I hope so, I've read a few posts and can identify so much with a lot of what others are saying. The feeling different to 'everyone else' is definitely a huge thing for me. Ex's have said I'm aloof and love myself but I think in hindsight it's down to my autism traits.

 

[Lord Riot]

If you mean you don't take initiative then I think so. I have that problem and there's other out there who are the same.

I can some across as immature at times too, thing is when I'm in a relaxed in environment with people I know.

Welcome to the family.

Yes definitely, I'm so bad at initiative! Part laziness I think but a lot is that I just don't see or understand where it's required.

And definitely the immaturity thing - when I'm with my mates I revert to my university mentality. In fact deep down I do still feel and think like I'm in my early 20's in terms of values and interests.

Did anyone always feel a lot younger than their peer group/year at school? I just never fitted in really.

 

[xudo]

Welcome

And I'm so bad at gauging how what I say and do makes others feel. Is that 'normal' aspie too?

I am (apparently) terrible at this, and come across as blunt and rude when that is not my intention. However, there is no real 'normal' aspie. "If you've met one aspie, you've met one aspie."

 

[Nitro]

Welcome to AspiesCentral

 

[Lord Riot]

Welcome



I am (apparently) terrible at this, and come across as blunt and rude when that is not my intention. However, there is no real 'normal' aspie. "If you've met one aspie, you've met one aspie."

Thanks, yes I guess we're all as individual as those not on our spectrum. We all just have some things in common. I don't think I come across as rude, just very insensitive and sometimes arrogant, but I'm not actually like that, I'm quite nice, I just don't have ability really to naturally factor in other people without trying really hard.

 

[Lord Riot]

Welcome to AspiesCentral

Thanks!

 

[toothless]

A casual Google search led me to this site.

I was finally diagnosed as being on 'the spectrum' last year, and reading the comments on here made me realise there are so many others like me. Where were you all when I was at school, wondering why I was obsessed with aeroplanes and too scared to talk to girls I liked!?

As I've grown up, I can have a normal job (though have lost two as not proactive enough - is that an Aspie trait?) and my own house. I do overcompensate with material things (car and clothes and gym), but I do genuinely prefer reading about wildlife, astronomy or history than going to a nightclub or anything.

I struggle with queuing and patience, and sometimes can be OTT confident and other times want to shrink away from all social contact. I used to think I was just immature and a late developer but I guess it's the autism.

Do any of you think being both a people pleaser and selfish at the same time is familiar to you, or is that nothing to do with autism? And I'm so bad at gauging how what I say and do makes others feel. Is that 'normal' aspie too?

hi lord riot,welcome to aspiecentral!

 

[Rocco]

Welcome aboard.
I am glad you have joined this community. I have some similar struggles.
Best wishes
Rocco

 

[Mia]

Do any of you think being both a people pleaser and selfish at the same time is familiar to you, or is that nothing to do with autism? And I'm so bad at gauging how what I say and do makes others feel. Is that 'normal' aspie too?

Welcome Lord Riot, Tend toward realizing that I'm 'people pleasing' in the midst of doing so and berate myself for it. It's likely training from early childhood, and the push and pull of it is frustrating. Attempting to not be influenced by others has been a lifelong struggle. Autism or no.

 

[Lord Riot]

Thanks for the welcomes.
It's good to see I'm not alone in thinking completely differently to most people.

 

[Bolletje]

Welcome!

 

[WittyAspie]

Welcome to AC! I can relate to coming across as selfish to the people I love when I don't mean to. It can be hard to communicate properly with people who view the world differently.