Handling failure

[Andrew Gorton]

Hi,

I get extremely upset every time I fail at something. Specifically, last year I was let go from a volunteer gardening position I had at a historical house and garden. I was unable to complete the work due to poor time management and occasional conflicts with other voluntary positions, and some difficulty in completing the manual tasks required. The head gardener was very good about it, but I was, and still feel, absolutely gutted.

I still work there as a room guide and visitor welcome assistant, which I enjoy, and I have some success at selling raffle tickets to raise money -the house management team are separate from the gardening team and seem to appreciate my efforts. I certainly get on very well with the front-of-house staff and volunteers there.

I have also been trying to get paid work, but job interviews are a nightmare. Anxiety and poor communication skills always scupper my performance there, and every time I walk away feeling extremely-and I mean extremely - angry and upset with myself, often to the distress of my dad and sister.

I am successful elsewhere in my life. I have a science degree. I volunteer as a coastal watchkeeper, a role I was able to successfully complete training for, including a radio operators' certificate. I take part in wildlife surveys. I have helped run a conservation group and have won an award for my contribution there. I have helped out behind the scenes and front-of-house at a couple of museums to their appreciation.

How do others here react to and cope with failure? I always react very badly, and I know I shouldn't .

Cheers.

Andrew

 

[clg114]

Use failure to your advantage. Learn from it, do it different the next time. Until you get it right. Most importantly, never, ever give up.

 

[Fino]

I react with suppressed rage, self-hatred, fantasies of, or actual, self-harm, and dramatic declarations of a now-bleak future.

So I'd say I handle it pretty darn well!

 

[Aspychata]

Hi,

I get extremely upset every time I fail at something. Specifically, last year I was let go from a volunteer gardening position I had at a historical house and garden. I was unable to complete the work due to poor time management and occasional conflicts with other voluntary positions, and some difficulty in completing the manual tasks required. The head gardener was very good about it, but I was, and still feel, absolutely gutted.

I still work there as a room guide and visitor welcome assistant, which I enjoy, and I have some success at selling raffle tickets to raise money -the house management team are separate from the gardening team and seem to appreciate my efforts. I certainly get on very well with the front-of-house staff and volunteers there.

I have also been trying to get paid work, but job interviews are a nightmare. Anxiety and poor communication skills always scupper my performance there, and every time I walk away feeling extremely-and I mean extremely - angry and upset with myself, often to the distress of my dad and sister.

I am successful elsewhere in my life. I have a science degree. I volunteer as a coastal watchkeeper, a role I was able to successfully complete training for, including a radio operators' certificate. I take part in wildlife surveys. I have helped run a conservation group and have won an award for my contribution there. I have helped out behind the scenes and front-of-house at a couple of museums to their appreciation.

How do others here react to and cope with failure? I always react very badly, and I know I shouldn't .

Cheers.

Andrew

Think maybe we are discussing to different things, help with interviews, help with dealing with rejection via interviews. You can always ask the Head Gardener if you should handle this or that in this or timeframe. Ask people for help, so you can see where you can improve.
Interviews are tough, l had critique from several people, l presented very poorly, and had to tweak and calibrate myself until interviews felt better. Anger issues are a different subject, and you will have to figure out how to manage and manage it until it's controllable. l had to learn how to control my meltdowns, it took time
l had to take responsibility and acceptance of this.

 

[Crossbreed]

My favorite "failure" song...

Roses of Success

 

[BraidedPony]

I tell myself at least I tried. Many people don’t try and that is the true failure.

 

[Gracey]

You either achieve something, or learn.

Oftentimes I can set myself up to “fail”
... although it isn’t failure as such, I’m just over reaching, mainly to test my limits.

Pass/fail.
Is a very black and white perspective.

 

[Progster]

I used to have a Phoenix avatar when I first joined this site for the number of times I have arisen from the ashes of failure. If one thing doesn't work out, then try something different. Failure is part of life, but it isn't inevitable - as you mention, you have successes, and when you are feeling down, you need to remember your those successes and not dwell on the failures. Whatever you do, just do your best and if it doesn't work out, well, at least you tried.

 

[GrownupGirl]

I usually expect to fail at most things so at least I'm pleasantly surprised on the rare occasions that I don't.

 

[Nick12]

FIRST OF ALL NEVER NEVER GIVE UP BE HAPPY GO TO YOURTUBE AND TYPE IN WELCOME TO POOH CORNER YES I CAN I WISH YOU A VERRY VERRY VERRY HAPPY DAY