Hand shakes when talking or around woman.

[Tony Ramirez]

Is it normal or is it ASD thing?

I went to Yoga class today and it was seven woman and one man besides me. Even the Yoga teacher is a woman. Being near them and talking to the Yoga teacher who knows me as I been to a few of her classes already my hands started to shake.

After class I thought I was calm but talking to the teacher and another student a woman who was paying they all were using Apple pay. I then asked if they accepted Google pay and she was no t sure. Meanwhile the I there student was looking at me and I did smile back but my hands were shaking so I could not really talk to her. Then after she left I was talking to the teacher about my cat being sick. She knows because I told her last week. I asked her how she makes her cat eat as he had a urinal blockage too. She said he just eats anyway. Then I mentioned pattie and how that's everywhere and she agreed. I left after saying goodbye as I have a class with her tomorrow.

It was a relief walking outside that winter air I did not even put on my hat. Sorry got going on but I experienced the same thing talking to a woman named Molly even asking if I can give her my number so we can hang out in a group. She started a group lunch in after church but no one else was available. Even Ashley another girl from the Thursday life group talking to her my hands were shaking and I started to sweat.

The wierd thing is when I talk to couples who are together my hands don't shake and I don't sweat.

 

[Rodafina]

It sounds like understandable anxiety to me. Especially because of the sweating. You’ve expressed, in the past, desiring to have a good relationship with a woman, so if you are generally attracted to women, it makes sense that you would have somewhat of a nervous response when talking to them.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

So it's not just a ASD thing?

 

[Rodafina]

So it's not just a ASD thing?

We are beyond my scope of understanding there, but I’m thinking that maybe being autistic just makes anxiety more intense, because we may have some sensory issues going on or an extra fear of misunderstanding the situation and not knowing what to say. That’s just my guess though, I would be curious to find out what others think.

 

[Rodafina]

I mean, honestly, as a heterosexual male, interested in finding a partner and at a yoga class with mostly women, it is understandable that you would feel at least some level of anxiety and distraction from the yoga. I think you know, I’m a girl, but I’m guessing this would be a common experience for men in your situation ND or NT.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

Yes it's definitely distracting. I try my best to focus though.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

Also thanks for telling me your a woman. It's so much easier to talk online than in person.

 

[Rodafina]

Also thanks for telling me your a woman. It's so much easier to talk online than in person.

You can practice here and then take it out into the real world. That’s what I am doing. Not specifically just with men, but for me just speaking to humans in general gets me pretty flustered, so I practice here and I hope to apply it in face-to-face interactions, too.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

Thanks.

 

[Slime_Punk]

just speaking to humans in general gets me pretty flustered

I have this, too. The shaking (or whatever is going to happen, it manifests in different ways and has become less obvious over time) doesn't care about gender.

My guess, @Tony Ramirez, if yours is coming from anxiety it might indicate that you're at least really comfortable with other guys, which is a huge plus. If you spend a considerable amount of time around men, you might've overridden the anxiety with them and now you're working on the anxiety that comes from unfamiliar territory.

If this is the case, the fact that you're engaging it so much means that it's bound to largely go away. You might always have a little bit of it, but it likely won't even bother you if you keep up these good habits.

 

[Judge]

Yes it's definitely distracting. I try my best to focus though.

You might consider consulting with a doctor about seeking medications that might subdue such symptoms. Giving you more confidence in such social interactions knowing your hands may not shake and that you won't sweat.

 

[AprilR]

It might be anxiety, or maybe negative experiences you had with women before.
I also have had social anxiety around the opposite sex sometimes usually when i am attracted to someone. (though it has been years since this Last happened so i am not sure about now)

 

[Tony Ramirez]

You might consider consulting with a doctor about seeking medications that might subdue such symptoms. Giving you more confidence in such social interactions knowing your hands may not shake and that you won't sweat.

The thing is that I thought it was medication that made it worse like the Seroquel 200 mg I been taking daily.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

It might be anxiety, or maybe negative experiences you had with women before.

I grew up with all male cousins. The only girl was my sister, and she is fully autistic.
So, growing up I had little experience with girls. It was so bad when I was a teenager, I used to run away from them.
Going to yoga this morning there were only two other women there.

 

[AprilR]

That makes sense.

My dad grew up in a similar environment with only boys, and he used to say "i had no idea how women talk among themselves when i was young. They seemed like a different perfect species."
ofc that is not true at all. Women are as imperfect as men, and there are all kinds of women as well as men in the world.

As others said, you can practice interacting with women here. And you will see there is not much difference at all.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

I remember this girl in my neighborhood that my grandmother forced me to hang out with like a play date. Her mother was my mother's friend growing up. I felt so uncomfortable around her. One time we went to the movies, but she sat someplace else, so I went by myself and left by myself. The movie was Disney "Blank Check".

She ended up marrying my cousin, had two kids then got divorced and remarried. Then my cousin, who still surprises me how easy he was able to find the right girl and had two kids with her. They are still happily married.

 

[Judge]

The thing is that I thought it was medication that made it worse like the Seroquel 200 mg I been taking daily.

Drug therapy involves being subject to any number of medications to find the one that actually works for you and not against you. I suspect with your kind of anxiety symptoms that they aren't the kind you can simply talk yourself out of. In essence, you have to be prepared to try any number of medications, whether they help or hurt you.

A situation I knew well many years ago. I couldn't get out of that abyss without some pharmaceutical help. When I improved, eventually I chose to wean myself off such medications. I haven't taken any such medications since then.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

Sorry, I meant that I thought the seroquel made my hands shake which is one of the rare side effects. Later we'll you know what causes it anxiety around women. Actually the drug helps with my anxiety. I am still able to talk to women which I have done.

 

[Judge]

Sorry, I meant that I thought the seroquel made my hands shake which is one of the rare side effects. Later we'll you know what causes it anxiety around women. Actually the drug helps with my anxiety. I am still able to talk to women which I have done.

The medication I took had a most unfortunate side effect as well. An irregular heartbeat. For that reason the FDA eventually took it off the market. Though it did successfully stop my anxiety symptoms.