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Guess who's back, back again?!

Discussion in 'Introduce Yourself' started by Baphocletian, Mar 1, 2020.

  1. Baphocletian

    Baphocletian Arch-Degenerate V.I.P Member

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    Hello everyone, I'm not exactly a new member here but it's been a long time since I last posted so I figured that I'd re-introduce myself and start fresh. Forgive me if posting a second introduction thread isn't allowed.

    I originally joined this site when it was called AspiesCentral at a very cringe-worthy point in my life. I was very socially inept (much more so than I am now), failing at a commuter school whose commute was mental torture, and suffering through contact with an incredibly abusive, manipulative, and narcissistic mother.

    I made a number of radical but necessary changes in my life, including transferring colleges and living on campus, going no-contact with mom for the sake of my sanity, and somehow making a precious few good IRL friends and integrating myself into their friend group. I've said before that I don't ask to be "big man on campus", just one of the guys, and with these people I feel I've achieved that. The only downside is that their work schedules make it so that we hang out far too seldom.

    The past several years have not been without struggles, however. In summer of 2018 I suffered a crippling nervous breakdown which resulted in a traumatic, two-week inpatient stay at a mental hospital and a useless amateur shrink there misdiagnosing me with Bipolar I "with psychotic features". While I fully admit to having mental health issues, namely PTSD and major depressive disorder (not to mention Asperger's, which is kinda why I'm on this forum in the first place), I do not consider myself a psychopath, and resent the association with the label. I had to take a semester off college and endured a long depressive episode that resulted from this debacle.

    In the time since I last posted here a number of great developments have occurred in my life as well. Namely, my abusive piece of trash "mother" passed away from complications of diabetes last April, which for me was cause for celebration. As previously mentioned, I now have something resembling a social life outside of my online contacts. And perhaps most excitingly, I now have a wonderful partner after almost six years of cold, isolated singleness. Every time I kiss or hold hands with him, I revel in imagining how butthurt my mom would get. He tells me he's "the best thing that's ever happened to him", and it's enormously gratifying to be loved by someone, and feel compelled to love them back.

    As for AutismForums, I look forward to contributing more in the years to come and enjoying camaraderie and solidarity with fellow Aspies. I also am making a point to cut down on the nihilistic political ranting, because a) it accomplishes nothing and b) there's already a whole board for that. While the world may be descending into a totalitarian Hellscape, I'm making it my top priority to carve out my own little slice of paradise in spite of it all. I hope you all are working on that too. If you have any questions for me, feel free to ask them here.

    Take care of yourselves! Cheers!
     
    Last edited: Mar 1, 2020
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  2. GadAbout

    GadAbout Well-Known Member

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    Welcome back.

    I want to address a semantic misunderstanding that I find pretty common. It appears to me, from your description, that you were not called a psychopath - you were called bipolar with psychotic features. Let's look at some of the uses of the word roots involved here.

    Psych: a Greek root that means the mind

    Psych- + -ology: The study of the mind
    Psych- + -ologist: A scientist of the mind

    Psych- + -iatry: Medical treatment of the mind
    Pscyh- + -iatrist: A doctor specializing in treating the mind

    Psych- + -opathology: A sickness or abnormality of the mind
    Psych- + -opath: A particular subtype of abnormality of the mind

    Psychopath in current use means a person who lacks conscience, lacks empathy, has superficially good social skills (can appear charming, etc.), is motivated by his reward system (motivated to do or acquire things he likes) but insufficiently so by the punishment or avoidance systems of the brain. The "poster child" for psychopath is Ted Bundy.

    Psychotic just means a mental state that is out of touch with reality. It can take various forms: seeing or hearing things that are not there, believing others are conspiring against you, believing there is something wrong with the body though nothing is wrong, believing yourself to have unusual powers, etc. Psychotic features can be present in bipolar disorder, depressive disorder, schizophrenia and other disorders, and substance abuse. They do not mean you are in Ted Bundy territory!

    I hope your wellness continues and grows. Sounds like a lot of things are going right for you right now!
     
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  3. Fridgemagnetman

    Fridgemagnetman I only have one V.I.P Member

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    Congrats on working through your challenges.

    It seems you were a bit greedy and took more of your fair share :)
     
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  4. Mia

    Mia Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    It sounds as if your in a better state of mind these days. Sometimes all it takes is to live your life the way you wish it could be, then eventually you are free of some things. Glad you checked in at the forum again.
     
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  5. Pats

    Pats Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Hi. Glad things are going in a good direction for you. Hope it continues for a good, long time. Sounds like you deserve it.
     
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  6. Baphocletian

    Baphocletian Arch-Degenerate V.I.P Member

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    Thanks for the clarification. Most people use the two terms interchangeably, and that's part of what distresses me about my misdiagnosis. I was under extreme stress around the time of my nervous breakdown, and I admit I made a complete ass of myself when I snapped. However, I've made a full recovery in spite of the egregious psychiatric malpractice that the doctor at the mental hospital showed.

    As an aside, mental hospitals that confiscate their patients' cell phones or electronics are in direct contradiction of their supposed "mission". In general, they show a callous disregard for their patients' well-being when they do this, and it's compounded by the fact that Aspies like myself need comfort objects, especially in situations like these. I find that reaching out on social media and blasting music is a big part of what keeps me "sane".
     
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  7. Aspychata

    Aspychata Serenity waves, beachy vibes

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    Like blasting music too. Like l feel the music when l blast it not just hear it.