Greeting forum people!
I'm in my early 40s, and I feel like I'm just starting to understand myself.
My journey started with my daughter being diagnosed with dyslexia. I went to wired for reading training to better understand and help. In my mind, I dismissed this as being a problem for me because "I don't reverse letters". As I went through the course and was immersed into what dyslexia is, I quickly find that this is totally me. She got this from me, at least now that I understand, I can relate my own history and coping mechanism.
One interesting aspect, for me, was the inability to picture words. The instructor asked us to picture the word elephant, and identify what the 5th letter is. If you can 'see' it, you just know. I had to count each letter till I got to 5.
This explains some things in my life. Humility indeed.
The next revelation resulted from a conversation with a coworker related to this. They said their spouse couldn't picture things in their head. Aphantasia, the inability to mentally visualized.
I looked this up and was confused. What do you mean can't picture things in their head? I found one of the tests, and the first question was to picture someone you've known for a long time, how much can you describe? I was stuck on this question. I talked to people around me. They were not confused.
You mean people can actually visually see things in their mind?! When I close my eyes, it is just blackness. The only time I 'see' anything is when I'm dreaming. The idea that most of the population can easily visualize in their head, and I can't blew me away. How can I have gone most of my life not knowing this??
When someone asks me to visualize a red truck, I now have an object construct of a red truck in my mind, what is next! But, I can't SEE it. It isn't a specific type of truck, as it hasn't been fully described yet. So to me imagine and visualize was really the same thing. I now know people who can see, smell and feel anything they want. Like a holodeck! I'm missing out.
At home...my spouse has it, and my daughter also has it. Amazing!
I was certain in my industry I'd find others like me. I took this new knowledge and started asking everyone, and found...I was alone in my professional bubble.
So really I'm a dyslexic, introverted person who doesn't like social situations and can't picture things in their head. I'm feeling like I'm starting to understand myself.
Then recently, I had someone ask me if I was on the spectrum. Something that I was just as uninformed as Dyslexia. After lots of intense research and two books later, I'm blown away at how much of my life just fits. Some of the things I do that I've never thought about makes more sense in context.
In my profession, I'm really good at what I do. Why or how I can see things others can't has always been a mystery to me. I feel like maybe this was my answer. In my core, I'm constantly trying to understand how everything works. Maybe this is why/how I'm different.
I have an (expensive) assessment scheduled 5 months from now. I'm going to learn a lot about myself.
I'm a little scared of sharing ASD after reading the experiences of others. But it starts at home, and starts with those close to me. Just last night, I apologized to someone for taking this so literally sometimes. This used to be an 'ism', but now makes sense. Understanding is the first step.
Thanks,
J
I'm in my early 40s, and I feel like I'm just starting to understand myself.
My journey started with my daughter being diagnosed with dyslexia. I went to wired for reading training to better understand and help. In my mind, I dismissed this as being a problem for me because "I don't reverse letters". As I went through the course and was immersed into what dyslexia is, I quickly find that this is totally me. She got this from me, at least now that I understand, I can relate my own history and coping mechanism.
One interesting aspect, for me, was the inability to picture words. The instructor asked us to picture the word elephant, and identify what the 5th letter is. If you can 'see' it, you just know. I had to count each letter till I got to 5.
This explains some things in my life. Humility indeed.
The next revelation resulted from a conversation with a coworker related to this. They said their spouse couldn't picture things in their head. Aphantasia, the inability to mentally visualized.
I looked this up and was confused. What do you mean can't picture things in their head? I found one of the tests, and the first question was to picture someone you've known for a long time, how much can you describe? I was stuck on this question. I talked to people around me. They were not confused.
You mean people can actually visually see things in their mind?! When I close my eyes, it is just blackness. The only time I 'see' anything is when I'm dreaming. The idea that most of the population can easily visualize in their head, and I can't blew me away. How can I have gone most of my life not knowing this??
When someone asks me to visualize a red truck, I now have an object construct of a red truck in my mind, what is next! But, I can't SEE it. It isn't a specific type of truck, as it hasn't been fully described yet. So to me imagine and visualize was really the same thing. I now know people who can see, smell and feel anything they want. Like a holodeck! I'm missing out.
At home...my spouse has it, and my daughter also has it. Amazing!
I was certain in my industry I'd find others like me. I took this new knowledge and started asking everyone, and found...I was alone in my professional bubble.
So really I'm a dyslexic, introverted person who doesn't like social situations and can't picture things in their head. I'm feeling like I'm starting to understand myself.
Then recently, I had someone ask me if I was on the spectrum. Something that I was just as uninformed as Dyslexia. After lots of intense research and two books later, I'm blown away at how much of my life just fits. Some of the things I do that I've never thought about makes more sense in context.
In my profession, I'm really good at what I do. Why or how I can see things others can't has always been a mystery to me. I feel like maybe this was my answer. In my core, I'm constantly trying to understand how everything works. Maybe this is why/how I'm different.
I have an (expensive) assessment scheduled 5 months from now. I'm going to learn a lot about myself.
I'm a little scared of sharing ASD after reading the experiences of others. But it starts at home, and starts with those close to me. Just last night, I apologized to someone for taking this so literally sometimes. This used to be an 'ism', but now makes sense. Understanding is the first step.
Thanks,
J