Got this past Trauma about girls.

[Wolfnox]

I got reminded of it recently. So in my childhood years. I didn't really have nice friends who were girls. They were mean. All threw my school years. They didn't like me. It apparently left a mark.
I'm cautious and spooky around girls. Fearing the worst at all times. Misunderstandings about my intentions or actions. Accusations of things I didn't do. Spreading of rumors and lies.
I don't know. Thought I moved past this. But, it bubbled up again. I'm tired of seeing girls in that light. But, constantly see these actions repeated.
Trying to move forward.

 

[Outdated]

I'm the opposite. Throughout much of my life most of my closest friends have been girls.

I'll give you a big tip - except for the visually obvious they're no different to blokes. They'll go to extremes to try and hide this and deny it to your face, but they're no different.

 

[Slime_Punk]

I got reminded of it recently. So in my childhood years. I didn't really have nice friends who were girls. They were mean. All threw my school years. They didn't like me. It apparently left a mark.
I'm cautious and spooky around girls. Fearing the worst at all times. Misunderstandings about my intentions or actions. Accusations of things I didn't do. Spreading of rumors and lies.
I don't know. Thought I moved past this. But, it bubbled up again. I'm tired of seeing girls in that light. But, constantly see these actions repeated.
Trying to move forward.

Just for context (and you don't have to answer obviously, but it's hard to gauge the situation otherwise) but are you a straight guy who's trying to become more comfortable around women or something similar? Otherwise, I wouldn't necessarily see this as too much of a negative, since you can always just befriend guys instead.

 

[Wolfnox]

Just for context (and you don't have to answer obviously, but it's hard to gauge the situation otherwise) but are you a straight guy who's trying to become more comfortable around women or something similar? Otherwise, I wouldn't necessarily see this as too much of a negative, since you can always just befriend guys instead.

Trying to move past old trama. I think I'm more confident speaking with girls then before. Though I'm by no means efficient at it. Conversation is really not my skill set.
I try but, really have nothing to say. Very blunt.
And yeah straight guy.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

I used to be hypersensitive to rejection and could not understand social communication. Hence, connecting with girls/women was difficult. I can now remember instances, especially in HS, when girls would approach me to connect and I did not know how to respond positively. I ended up quite isolated with one sorta friend. As a result I internalized a lot of lies about myself. That led to PTSD triggered by interpersonal situations.

With that deeply felt isolation, I did not start dating until 26. What it took was learning to like myself as an interesting person and realizing that women did not fall for jerks . . . . I was not giving them a choice. Eventually, I met and fell for a rather socially shy woman, my future spouse.

I would recommend that you look around to identify the shy women. We with social deficits are not very assertive compared to NTs and a shy woman hoping to meet a quirky, sensitive guy is approached by guys (meatheads) not her type. Especially when one is shy too, a connection with a shy woman with harmonious values can be valuable. My spouse related how I was the first man to actually care for her.

 

[MyLifeAsAnAspie]

I can relate to your difficulties. One idea is to find women to be platonic friends with. Older, married, etc. Another idea is to find new activities that would allow socializing. Where are you trying to meet women now?

 

[aspieoutlaw89]

I got reminded of it recently. So in my childhood years. I didn't really have nice friends who were girls. They were mean. All threw my school years. They didn't like me. It apparently left a mark.
I'm cautious and spooky around girls. Fearing the worst at all times. Misunderstandings about my intentions or actions. Accusations of things I didn't do. Spreading of rumors and lies.
I don't know. Thought I moved past this. But, it bubbled up again. I'm tired of seeing girls in that light. But, constantly see these actions repeated.
Trying to move forward.

them when i've been through something similar.

 

[Rodafina]

They'll go to extremes to try and hide this and deny it to your face…

Hey not all of us, I completely concur that we are all the same in the end! We are each just cells and atoms.

I think you guys are all generalizing a bit too much… You just have to meet more women, because we are not all the same. These trends that you have noticed in your history and your present may be more about where and when you are meeting women… In what context.

Broaden your view, broaden your experience if you can, because we are each different and unique just like you guys too.

Misunderstandings about my intentions or actions. Accusations of things I didn't do. Spreading of rumors and lies.

These traits that you have noticed are not exclusive to women nor are they universal to women. They are traits of people who are unkind and unwilling to get to know you for real.

Full compassion, for you though. I understand connection is very frustrating. I realize that your thoughts are based on your valid experience and that you are not just bashing women.

PS I am a girl.

 

[Wolfnox]

I can relate to your difficulties. One idea is to find women to be platonic friends with. Older, married, etc. Another idea is to find new activities that would allow socializing. Where are you trying to meet women now?

Currently I'm just trying to change this past view I have. No so much looking to meet but, trying to see them in a better light. Understand the differences and make peace with the scars I carry. I am one hundred percent terrified of meeting with women. But, I want and need to get past or make peace with that fear.

 

[Wolfnox]

Hey not all of us, I completely concur that we are all the same in the end! We are each just cells and atoms.

I think you guys are all generalizing a bit too much… You just have to meet more women, because we are not all the same. These trends that you have noticed in your history and your present may be more about where and when you are meeting women… In what context.

Broaden your view, broaden your experience if you can, because we are each different and unique just like you guys too.


These traits that you have noticed are not exclusive to women nor are they universal to women. They are traits of people who are unkind and unwilling to get to know you for real.

Full compassion, for you though. I understand connection is very frustrating. I realize that your thoughts are based on your valid experience and that you are not just bashing women.

PS I am a girl.

Nor do I wish to only see them based on past experiences. Trying to make peace with the past.

 

[MyLifeAsAnAspie]

Henry Cavendish is a famous autistic who had this fear. He had his female servants use a separate stairway and generally avoid him. Men who knew him wrote things like "he is the most brilliant man I know but also the strangest". Maybe work with someone who can help with this?

 

[Mr. Stevens]

I am one hundred percent terrified of meeting with women. But, I want and need to get past or make peace with that fear.

Perhaps something like a walking group would help--a group of both sexes meeting because of a shared interest. These are low-pressure situations which can help you meet great people.

 

[Wolfnox]

Henry Cavendish is a famous autistic who had this fear. He had his female servants use a separate stairway and generally avoid him. Men who knew him wrote things like "he is the most brilliant man I know but also the strangest". Maybe work with someone who can help with this?

Talking with a friend about it. He's been helping me with this.

 

[Wolfnox]

Perhaps something like a walking group would help--a group of both sexes meeting because of a shared interest. These are low-pressure situations which can help you meet great people.

Haven't found anything like that yet. Course things are tense these days.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

Haven't found anything like that yet. Course things are tense these days.

When I decided to learn how to be social, I joined the Sierra Club and went on outings. I met my spouse on a Sierra Club national outing.