1. Welcome to Autism Forums, a friendly forum to discuss Aspergers Syndrome, Autism, High Functioning Autism and related conditions.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Our modern chat room. No add-ons or extensions required, just login and start chatting!
    • Private Member only forums for more serious discussions that you may wish to not have guests or search engines access to.
    • Your very own blog. Write about anything you like on your own individual blog.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon! Please also check us out @ https://www.twitter.com/aspiescentral

Good Morning

Discussion in 'General Autism Discussion' started by Raggamuffin, Jan 25, 2022.

  1. Raggamuffin

    Raggamuffin Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    1,730
    Joined:
    Jan 23, 2020
    Karma:
    +4,316
    One of the directors comes in. He always confidently strides down the office and announces "Morning" to each desk clump. As he approaches ours, I look him directly in the eye, smile and say "Morning" and he looks at me, says nothing, and walks past.

    He's done this regularly to me. I don't know why, but I find it very upsetting. I internalise it as some form of microaggression on his part, and my heart sinks and I start to feel worthless or defective.

    Personally, I think it might be a case of lookism. I don't look anything like anyone else in the office. Nobody else has facial piercings, or a lots of tattoos, or dresses differently. I should be used to the stigma that standing out causes. But sometimes it cuts deep, even though to a lot of people this is probably a trivial matter.

    I get this vibe off him though, which goes beyond how he's ignored me many a time. There's something not right with him in terms of character. I can't place what it is - but his vibe is wrong. His daughter came to work her for 2 summers and she was extremely timid, shy and seemingly nervous. I've got a feeling he's probably very controlling and possibly verbally abusing.

    I know, to some that might be a huge leap. But as I said - I'm going with my intuition here, and I can just tell when there is something fundamentally off with some people.

    Ed
     
    Last edited: Jan 25, 2022
    • Agree Agree x 2
    • Like Like x 1
    • Friendly Friendly x 1
  2. Nemesis_2k7

    Nemesis_2k7 Nemesis2k7

    Messages:
    97
    Joined:
    Jan 19, 2022
    Karma:
    +103
    sounds controlling and passive agressive to me. and singling you out..because why? seems like he is making a point of saying hello to everyone but you. in my experience, thats control. next time he goes to do it, find a way not to notice him, act busy, use the restroom, anything to avoid him. then he CANT do it. thats what i do in situations like those. and if the person becomes irritable around me afterward, i come to the conclusion, that they are control freaks, and are only doing it to select people. its a form of control and domination. covert. and its wrong.

    and the daughter being nervous and timid around her father is another red flag for sure. he sounds like an egotist to me, already.
     
    • Agree Agree x 1
  3. watersprite

    watersprite inadvertent vagabond V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    6,130
    Joined:
    Oct 14, 2014
    Karma:
    +13,158
    I agree. I grew up around people like that and the behaviour is/was the same pattern. I got away from them. Long story.
    I believe that director will always see you as irritating &/or even a threat to his sense of his own power.
    I’d be tempted to say good morning to him in front of the the other directors. But that’s me.
     
  4. OkRad

    OkRad μῆνιν ἄειδε θεὰ Πηληϊάδεω Ἀχιλῆος οὐλομένην V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    3,253
    Joined:
    Oct 4, 2013
    Karma:
    +6,065
    Let it roll if you can. Never let a stupid person ruffle your neurons.
     
    • Like Like x 1
    • Winner Winner x 1
  5. Alexej

    Alexej Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    2,170
    Joined:
    Jul 13, 2019
    Karma:
    +1,977
    Yes it is upsetting and unfair.

    Show you are bigger than he is by still wishing him a "Good Morning"
     
    • Like Like x 1
  6. tree

    tree Blue/Green Staff Member V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    39,743
    Joined:
    Jun 29, 2013
    Karma:
    +30,889
    "He always confidently strides down the office and announces "Morning" to each desk clump. As he approaches ours, I look him directly in the eye, smile and say "Morning" and he looks at me, says nothing, and walks past."
    @Raggamuffin

    He speaks first to the others?
    But you usurp his *privilege* by greeting him first?

    Is that it ?
     
    • Agree Agree x 1
  7. Raggamuffin

    Raggamuffin Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    1,730
    Joined:
    Jan 23, 2020
    Karma:
    +4,316
    I'm not too sure, but I've encountered my fair share of people who seem very outgoing and charismatic around lots of people - but clam up entirely around me.

    I walked past him on the way from the kitchen earlier. Again, just a stony silence and stare from him as he walked past me. It feels quite unnerving, especially when I meet his gaze with a smile.

    Might start looking at the floor when I walk past him. Annoying really, as I've been making a solid effort in recent years to look people in the eye and smile when I walk past them. Virtually all strangers I do this to reciprocate in kind. Whereas I've worked for this guys company for over 2 and a half years and this guys is a bit of a brick wall for me.

    Ed
     
  8. Magna

    Magna Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    2,446
    Joined:
    Oct 31, 2019
    Karma:
    +3,372
  9. Suzette

    Suzette Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    2,637
    Joined:
    Jul 16, 2021
    Karma:
    +6,458
    Buddha would tell you to stop noticing him not noticing. :)
     
    • Like Like x 2
    • Winner Winner x 1
  10. Fino

    Fino Alex V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    5,757
    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2018
    Karma:
    +11,951
    I would ignore him entirely. You're both acting out, thus creating a relationship with one another. Obviously, it's an unhealthy one.
     
    • Agree Agree x 1
  11. Gracey

    Gracey Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    3,790
    Joined:
    Jun 30, 2017
    Karma:
    +7,296
    Enjoy being you, Ed :)
    Does your day pivot around this bloke's salutations?
    If, subconsciously, your appearance rattles his power steering then that's on him. It's also something you could never really know for sure.

    Let it go. Enjoy your day being you :)
     
  12. Forest Cat

    Forest Cat Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    1,473
    Joined:
    Jan 9, 2022
    Karma:
    +3,861
    The director, it`s not this guy, is it? ;)

    bill.jpg
     
  13. Raggamuffin

    Raggamuffin Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    1,730
    Joined:
    Jan 23, 2020
    Karma:
    +4,316
    Not that guy, no. But he does have a murky vibe. Looks like a Nazi war criminal

    "I was just following orders"

    Ed
     
    • Like Like x 1
  14. Au Naturel

    Au Naturel Au Naturel

    Messages:
    1,884
    Joined:
    Dec 11, 2019
    Karma:
    +3,984
    Does anyone else "Look him directly in the eye, smile, and say 'Morning'" before he says it to them? He could be taking it as a bit of insubordination.
     
    • Like Like x 1