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good date I think but. . .

paloftoon

paloftoon

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
I had a good date last Fri. He drove about 4 hours to visit his family. I live near his family. Before his family, he came to visit me. We, or certainly I, enjoyed his company. Before we met, we spent about 10-11 times playing interactive fiction games together remotely. He spent time with his family through Monday. I wanted to give him space, so I waited until Tuesday to try to contact him.

All my contact with him is through Discord normally unless otherwise said. He said he had a headache then. The following day, the vice president was visiting his area and I mentioned that. I also attempted to send him a funny image through FB IM, and he did not reply to that.

Yesterday, I asked him if he was free. I haven't gotten a response. He doesn't initiate hardly anything. I have stuff I can attend to today through Sunday.

I want to speak about logistics about me visiting him, but he hasn't given me that chance to ask via voice, and I don't want to txt that because it's too detailed and could be too much info for a text base.

I'm feeling frustrated, but I think for now I have to just wait and see what happens.
 
Hello. It sounds like he is not really interested. Its ok to have phone friends or people you only chat with online, sometimes thats all they really are good for. A real man doesnt make excuses, he doesnt need to. Honesty is at the top of my list of desirable traits
 
I finally got a response back today. He's in the hospital and that's why he hasn't been able to get back to me earlier. Hope he gets fully better soon. Glad that he wasn't throwing me to the side.
 
It's been three more days since our communication, and enough time that I reached out to him again. (It has been since two Fridays ago that we had more meaningful communication.) He's been online very little. I can't tell if he just needs an Internet break or if this is a "coping" mechanism for "gently" put me down without the honesty. I don't want such a dishonest person. It feels that way, but we spent enough time online and with the in-person visit, it gives me enough breathing room to reach out to him asking about where I stand and to request staying overnight logistics 1.5 months away from now as we are a 4 hr drive away from each other.

On Monday, I plan to let him know I'll leave him alone and express that quality communication and being okay with connecting on things or spending greater amounts of time at once for long distance can help build a quality connection up.

I have 3 "potential" dates, that all don't want to plan for the weekend "until last minute" :(. They claim they are want to consider long term relationships, but it's more like they want to shop around too much. I'm definitely done that before too. So frustrating- espec since I didn't screw up so bad to deserve such a lack of quality communication.

I don't need a "why" , but I do deserve to know where I stand.
 
At least I got a response tonight. He's still in the hospital. This is kind of an awkward situation for me and so hard.
 
I wasn't sure what to believe as it was technically one in-person date, there wasn't quality communication the two weeks following that, and we know how indecisive, manipulative, and/or confused people can be. Finally thought of having a video chat just to try to clear the air. Turns out he's definitely in a hospital now. I could be real paranoid and think oh there's this elaborate setup where there's a room setup to look like a hospital room and one in a gown, and if I really felt that, then no, this would be not be worth pursuing. As a result of our longer talk, we've grown stronger.

'=========

Some history on the situation:

For about 3-3.5 months, I was doing online remote games with another person- specifically interactive fiction- this requires some trust and understanding of the technological environment, and typically a significant amount of time spent.
After that, we met in-person. Then he spent 3 more days with his family. Day after that, he is in the hospital and it's been two weeks since he's been in the hospital.

If not for the 4 hour driving distance, I'd have a winner already and not just a building up of a real good friend.
 
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