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Going to the people I know and trust.

Tony Ramirez

Tony Ramirez

Single forever. Friend's
V.I.P Member
I had physical Church today were we met in person. I could not talk to people I don't know especially girls (10) but I was able to after the service go to my close friend Justin.

There were a few more lady's I just could not go up to talk. I was able to only talk to my friend Manna who came to the city for service and is also another close friend I talked to on the phone in crisis.

Is it normal for ASD to behave that way socializing because Seroquel which was increased to 200 mg, Depakote, 500 mg and Clozapine 5 mg taking as needed does not help much with social anxiety talking to girls I don't know only approach ones I know that are close friends.
 
Tony I’m so happy you got to go to church! Go easy on yourself, this is kinda new again since everything has been closed up so prolly everyone is also feeling odd right now not just Aspies but for the NT too!

Us girls are shy, especially when we like someone it’s just as hard for us to make eye contact and smile - so go easy on us too! :)

Time will take care of this I believe, you have a whole summer in front of you and I feel sure when activities ramp up things will be a lot easier for everyone. There probably is some young lady already checking you out but you don’t know it yet!

It’s not you, the whole world is on edge with all the craziness and changes.
 
Yes its opening up. We are not meeting every Sunday but more than the past where we did not meet up at all.

If girls are so shy, and they NEVER EVER come up to you unless they know you from somewhere, it can be really frustrating.
 

Regarding yourself, you say you have:
"...social anxiety talking to girls I don't know only approach ones I know that are close friends."

Whereas you believe that the girls "NEVER EVER come up to you unless they know you from somewhere..."

So, it would seem that you and the girls have something in common.
A reluctance to put yourself out, make the effort to get acquainted.

How did you get acquainted with the two people you mention knowing?
 
That's where.

How?

Make a word picture for me.
Who started talking to who?

What were the circumstances that made it
possible to get acquainted?
 
Think you have to set a challenge.
1. Today l will walk up to one stranger and say hello, say what my name is. After they respond, l can walk away. That is success.

2. After l get comfortable doing this, then l will ask them a non-threatening question- did you like the service, are you enjoying the weather, etc.
3. After this, then l will probably feel way much better about myself.
 
I know what you mean, I wouldn't be able to do this either, it's just an area of communication I can't do, unstructured social interaction. Sorry you are up against this. I have concluded this is due to processing issues of some kind on my part, but also fear. I'm generally fine if in a role though, like if I'm helping organise something, except I interrupt.

It's good that you could go there though, that's progress.
 
Tony Ramirez said:
Sounds easier than said. I just freeze up.
Click to expand...

If you are open to this, can you describe what feelings take over you that are paralyzing? It's these feelings that are so important to look at. I was painfully shy in high school.
 
Aspychata said:
If you are open to this, can you describe what feelings take over you that are paralyzing? It's these feelings that are so important to look at. I was painfully shy in high school.
Click to expand...
Like I want to introduce myself but I am afraid of saying the wrong thing, something stupid or nothing at all during those silent moments.
 
I have felt this way. Sometimes l still feel this way when nervous, this one person can kinda of cause me to be tongue tied because l might say something stupid.

But because l like them, then l just risk the embarrassment because it happens.
So if these woman are nice, they may smile if you simply say - l am nervous but l wanted to say hi and my name is **** . What's your name?
 
So the reverse strategy is to use your shyness to open up the conversation,

1 l was feeling shy but l really wanted to say l like your shirt, my name is****

2 l was afraid to say hi but you seem really chill, my name is******

3 You have such a great smile, l overcame being nervous and wanted say hi to you.

This actually helps you confront your feelings and soon you won't need to say it anymore.
Remember please to smile, this puts other people at ease.
 
Let us know your progress, this is a great way to move forward and maybe some other doors may open for you.
 
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