Giving tips

[Progster]

Prompted by @pjcnet 's thread on Uber drivers, I wanted to ask you what you thoughts are on the practice of tipping - giving extra money on top of the advertised price for services, in taxis or in restuarants, for example. Do you give tips? Do you think it's right to do so?

As a person on the spectrum, I find this system of tip giving highly problematic and it causes me a lot of anxiety... so, the price is 10 euros, but actually no, it's 11 euros, because you are supposed to give a tip, which is supposed to be optional, except that it isn't optional, because if you don't give one, it has consequences like a poor rating and you are 'punished' for it, or you are judged and branded as being mean and stingy - even though it is your right not to give one. And there is no clear rule about it, you are supposed to tip according to what you think the person should get, what you think they deserve - you are being asked to make a judgement about that person at put a financial value on that person. And then they make a judgement about you based on how much money you gave them! It's totally wrong and it sucks!

It makes me feel very anxious and reluctant to use any service where tipping is expected because of the lack of clear rules in most circumstances, to the extent that I avoid being in situations where one is suppsed to give a tip. As a person on the spectrum, I find this system of hidden, unspoken social rules and expectations a minefield and difficult to navigate. I just wish there were clear rules for it, that tipping is 10% for example, that would make it easier - or better still, that it didn't exist at all. Employees shouldn't have to rely on tips to make a decent living, they should be paid a decent wage from the start. The price of a service should be up front and transparent, no hidden costs: the advertised price is the price you pay. You agree to a price before accepting the service, that is the price you should be expected to pay, not more.

A person providing a service needs to be paid fairly. So, I'd much rather pay 11 euros with the tip included, than 10 euros but you are supposed to pay a tip so it becomes 11 euros. I like things to be simple, straightforward, upfront and honest. The price of the taxi ride is 11 euros, it is advertised as 11 euros, and that is what I pay, No more, no less.

 

[Bella Pines]

oh cringe! I hate the whole tip thing, I never remember and am foggy on the rules. In the UK, I think it's usually "included" aka forced in the bill at restaurants, it's often 10% at service establishments like hairdressers and taxis are a dark art. But it's not as mandated as in the US. Certainly not in coffee shops or anything. Sometimes there is a "tip cup" on the counter that loose change gets dropped in.

I would rather live without it, but sometimes it's nice. When my hairdresser does an awesome job I say thank you with a tip. Where it goes really wrong is when the "entitled" culture kicks in and it's "expected".

 

[Tom]

Its one of those things. The world will not change to fit you. 15% was the standard in the USA.

 

[Progster]

Where it goes really wrong is when the "entitled" culture kicks in and it's "expected"

Totally agree - this is where the problem lies.

The world will not change to fit you.

I never said it would!

 

[Bolletje]

I tip when I feel someone has made an effort for me as a guest. So in cafes and restaurants I tip when I’ve had a good time. Small tip when it’s okay, large tip when it’s been a really pleasant experience. Rude staff and/or bad food mean I don’t tip.
I always tip bartenders (not only the one I’m dating), but usually just round up to the next whole number, nothing grand. Same with cab drivers, unless the conversation during the ride was extremely amusing.

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

Uber is good as no money changes hands, you can tip later if you want to.

But there is a feedback system.

So, for the driver who nearly killed us, do I leave a negative?

Or,if I do, does he come back and finish the job?

He dropped us off at home.

Clearly no tip

 

[pax]

I live in Aus. and we don't have tipping. Unless someone does an excellent job there is no pressure to give them anymore than the charge for their goods and services. None of this 15% business. I really don't understand why they just can't pay people in the US a wage they can live on. From my understanding the cost of restaurant meals are more expensive than in Aus, so there is really no excuse.

There also is the possibility of "wage" discrimination - that pretty blonde, white girl in the miniskirt is likely to get more tips than her fat ugly colored colleague who does a better job.

I really don't like the concept at all.

 

[Nitro]

Some food servers in the USA are not paid a minimum wage, because they earn a better portion of their wages from their tips.

The rules are simple 15% of the bill, which is fairly simple math at 10% plus half of that added on to the total.

It doesn't have to be an exact figure either, with rounding up being more fair to the provider.

Many of them also have to declare them as taxable income, so the government still gets their cut.

To not tip in the service industry is an insult to those who provide good service in my country.
If you get what you needed,give them what they need based on a merit system.



A good rule of thumb I use in a tavern setting is to tip well up front when first served to show my server that I value their service from the beginning instead of making them wait until I decide to leave.

As a result of doing so,it generally offers me better service which will also prompt me to leave even more when I am finished

 

[Nitro]

I live in Aus. and we don't have tipping. Unless someone does an excellent job there is no pressure to give them anymore than the charge for their goods and services. None of this 15% business. I really don't understand why they just can't pay people in the US a wage they can live on. From my understanding the cost of restaurant meals are more expensive than in Aus, so there is really no excuse.

There also is the possibility of "wage" discrimination - that pretty blonde, white girl in the miniskirt is likely to get more tips than her fat ugly colored colleague who does a better job.

I really don't like the concept at all.

If you increase the wages of those who work service across the board, every patron takes a hit when it is time to pay the piper.

This would offer no incentive for a service industry worker to provide better service, so what happens next?

A cute girl in a mini skirt won't get a better tip from me, but good service will, no matter what my server looks like.

 

[pax]

Why not just pay a decent wage in the first place so that fat coloured women's kids don't go hungry? Weird concept.

 

[Gracey]

If the service ticks all of the boxes I probably over pay and ask them to keep the change.

I used to know the etiquette, which percentages belonged to which service industry but haven’t needed to use that information for so long it’s faded into oblivion.

I don’t remember being asked or reminded by the person I’m paying about a tip when I don’t leave one.

I’ve been waiting for an opportunity to say “don’t drink petrol while you’re smoking”
But the moment hasn’t arisen.

 

[Otenba]

Depends where you are if you need to tip or not. Some restaurants make it part of the final bill, some would rather you bring your friends to their restaurant instead of taking a tip, and some (from what I've gathered from USA waiter jobs) push for them because it's the only way the employee will get decent pay.

If I really like a place, I'm okay with leaving a £ or two in the mint tray that came with the bill. I don't think I've experienced a tipping experience with any other situation outside restaurants or cafes yet so can't really comment on others.

Edit: Some customers treat waiting staff like dirt regardless of the service they provide. Not everyone is fair like some of the people claim to be here in this thread. It would be better for all if the employer didn't devalue their staff and make them desperate for money. I'm so glad I don't live in the USA. People's human rights are severely neglected. It's disgusting. See it in the healthcare system too.

 

[Nitro]

Why not just pay a decent wage in the first place so that fat coloured women's kids don't go hungry? Weird concept.

That offers her no incentive to work better,only rewards her for showing up.

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

A good rule of thumb I use in a tavern setting is to tip well up front when first served to show my server that I value their service from the beginning instead of making them wait until I decide to leave.

As a result of doing so,it generally offers me better service which will also prompt me to leave even more when I am finished

Similar.

The system has morphed into - my bill is always about $20.
My tip is always $20.

 

[Progster]

Uber is good as no money changes hands, you can tip later if you want to.

But there is a feedback system.

So, for the driver who nearly killed us, do I leave a negative?

Or,if I do, does he come back and finish the job?

He dropped us off at home.

Clearly no tip

I don't understand this, if he dropped you off at home safely, why wouldn't he get a tip? Finish what job?

Why not just pay a decent wage in the first place so that fat coloured women's kids don't go hungry? Weird concept.

Yes, this is also my point (except the bit about the fat woman) - that getting a decent wage is a much better and fairer way of guaranteeing a steady and reliable income for employees. Plus, I've heard many reports of exploitation - staff in some establishments being made to hand in their tips and not getting to keep them, or the kitchen staff don't get their fair share.

That offers her no incentive to work better,only rewards her for showing up.

I think that if they were paid a decent wage, they would have an incentive to work. After all, supermarket staff and the staff in most other businesses are expected to turn up and do their job well without the additional incentive of tips, so why should it be different for restaurant staff? Instead of tips, they often have perks and bonuses which the employer provides, and there is no reason why it shouldn't be the same in restaurants.
If an employer values an employee because they are doing a good job, that should be reflected in their wages, and not in the amount of tips given.

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

I don't understand this, if he dropped you off at home safely, why wouldn't he get a tip? Finish what job

His driving almost killed us.
As he knew where we lived....
If I gave negative feedback,
Him 'finishing the job' is him coming back to kill us.

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

I think that if they were paid a decent wage, they would have an incentive to work. After all, supermarket staff and the staff in most other businesses are expected to turn up and do their job well

In Europe there is an idea of doing g a job well for it's own sake. A wider view that exists beyond the idea that people respond to incentives only.

 

[Gracey]

I don't understand this, if he dropped you off at home safely, why wouldn't he get a tip? Finish what job?

Yes, this is also my point (except the bit about the fat woman) - that getting a decent wage is a much better and fairer way of guaranteeing a steady and reliable income for employees. Plus, I've heard many reports of exploitation - staff in some establishments being made to hand in their tips and not getting to keep them, or the kitchen staff don't get their fair share.

I think that if they were paid a decent wage, they would have an incentive to work. After all, supermarket staff and the staff in most other businesses are expected to turn up and do their job well without the additional incentive of tips, so why should it be different for restaurant staff? Instead of tips, they often have perks and bonuses which the employer provides, and there is no reason why it shouldn't be the same in restaurants.
If an employer values an employee because they are doing a good job, that should be reflected in their wages, and not in the amount of tips given.

If all wages were increased then those that don’t offer a great customer service get the same wage as those that really make the effort to be as helpful and welcoming as they can.

How is that fair and where is the incentive to keep on offering that extra effort to give the customer a great service?

 

[Nitro]

If all wages were increased then those that don’t offer a great customer service get the same wage as those that really make the effort to be as helpful and welcoming as they can.

How is that fair and where is the incentive to keep on offering that extra effort to give the customer a great service?

I believe that concept falls under the title of socialism

 

[Mary Terry]

It is traditional to tip for many things in the US. 15-20% tip for waiters, taxi and Uber drivers, hairdressers and manicurists, and $1 per bag for hotel bellmen who tote your bags for you. If you receive bad service, then you don't tip or leave only a couple of pennies on the table to demonstrate your dissatisfaction with the service they provided.

I have a hangup about receiving boiling hot soup in restaurants so I tell the waiter up front when I order a cup or bowl that I will send the soup back to the kitchen to be properly heated and will not leave them a tip if they bring me lukewarm soup. It seems to work.