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Featured Getting Over Loss

Discussion in 'Friends, Family & Social Skills' started by AuBurney Tuckerson, Nov 3, 2019.

  1. AuBurney Tuckerson

    AuBurney Tuckerson ~GigglesTheAutisticHyena~

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    My beloved guinea pig Oreo passed away due to an unknown infection.. When he fell I'll, I called the vet and did everything I could to nurse him back to health. I finally had to rush him to the emergency animal hospital cause he had a seizure and passed out, but I was too late.. Katie and JellyBean watched their herd member die as I called every place I could to help. But when I got there, they told me he has already passed..

    R.I.P. Oreo
    July 10th, 2017-November 3rd, 2019
    "I Love You"

    20191026_154805.jpg

    I don't know how on going to move on. He was family. Nothing will be able to cheer me up. Not even funny cartoons or finny animals.. I feel like it's my fault. There aren't many animal hospitals that work on exotics in my state already. I tried my best to take care of Oreo when he fell Ill on Friday.. How do people even get past grief? I miss Oreo too much, and I feel like a terrible family member because he was only 2 years old. He only lived to be 2! JellyBean and Katie seem to be taking Oreo's passing well.. Not me.. I just can't.. This truly is the worst week ever. Probably the worst year ever.
     
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  2. unperson

    unperson Well-Known Member

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    Sorry for your loss, if the other rodents are coping, I think that will help you, over time. :cry:
     
  3. tducey

    tducey Well-Known Member

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    Sorry for your loss. A pet, of any form, is such a big part of a person's life.
     
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  4. AuBurney Tuckerson

    AuBurney Tuckerson ~GigglesTheAutisticHyena~

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    At least, I know he's no longer suffering..
     
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  5. Mia

    Mia Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Sorry to hear, I think it hurts a lot. No matter how many times it happens throughout your life. It's something few people ever get used to. As we attempt to work through it all in our own way.
     
    Last edited: Nov 4, 2019
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  6. Misery

    Misery Photo-Negative V.I.P Member

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    I dont think there's ever really away to truly get over it.

    I've had many pets over many years. 4 dogs, 4 cats. And another dog if I count the neighbor's dog from when I lived at the previous house (I got real close to that dog, to the point where his owners just outright gave me a house key even. They were really nice people, I miss them too... I still have that key on my chain, since you know, carrying around a key that doesnt unlock anything anymore is very practical).

    One of those dogs is still here, passed out in the living room. He is only 3. Too much energy. Almost bedtime for him here.

    But all of the others are gone and have been for a long time. And you know what? I never got over it. I dont think I ever will. It's hard just to type this, thinking about any of them. If I think about this for too long I will have some sort of breakdown (again, and it sure as heck wouldnt be the first time).

    But you know what? It's worth it. Any time I'm not sure of that, one look at my dog here is enough to make me sure.

    And that's what you gotta remind yourself of. Seriously. That's all there really is to it.

    You cant get over it, not REALLY. But the time you spent with said pet was worth the pain.
     
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  7. TheGuyWithTheTacoma

    TheGuyWithTheTacoma Well-Known Member

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    I've had two dogs, three frogs (two African Dwarfs and a Pacman), two hermit crabs, and untold numbers of fish. The dogs obviously left the biggest impression on me. My first dog was a Black Labrador Retriever named Molly. She was born on December 11th, 1994 and died on December 23rd, 2009. My parents brought her home in January or February of 1995. She survived a brush with skin cancer at the age of 9 and up living to be 15 years old! We had to her to sleep due to failing health just twelve days after she turned 15. Molly lived a full and unusually long life. The picture below is of Molly in the back of my then-new Tacoma, taken a little over a month before we put her to sleep...

    [​IMG]

    It was almost nine years before we got another dog (mostly due to the fact that we lived in a townhouse with no real backyard at the time). In September 2018, we adopted Mandy, a Corgi/Labrador/Terrier Mix. About a month after we got her, we realized she was drinking excessively. The vet ran some tests and determined she had kidney issues; My parents took her to a specialist who did an ultrasound and came back with the devastating diagnosis of Congenital Renal Dysplasia. Mandy would be lucky if she lived to be two years old (which she sadly didn't). Mandy did remarkably well for several months considering how high her kidney values were, but then in May or so she went on a downward spiral. She slept constantly and became anemic, and then her back leg muscles started to atrophy. We put her to sleep barely ten months after adopting her, on July 1st, 2019.

    Here is a picture of an 11-week old Mandy in the very same Tacoma (albeit 9 years old and about 88,000 miles later) from the above picture, on the day we brought her home...

    [​IMG]


    Here is an adult-sized Mandy, photographed in my parents' kitchen sometime in the psring of 2019 (I got this photo from one of my threads on Tacoma World and the post is dated just a day before we put her to sleep, but I do not know if this photo was actually taken that day)...

    [​IMG]
     
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  8. TheGuyWithTheTacoma

    TheGuyWithTheTacoma Well-Known Member

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    I know exactly what you are going through (please see above). I have been through the deaths of two beloved family dogs in less than ten years. I was upset and cried a lot when Molly (my Lab who lived to be 15) was put to sleep, but she lived an usually long life. The death of Mandy was particularly devastating because she barely a year old and still essentially a baby. She literally died in my arms at the vet's office (I started crying while typing this).
     
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  9. AuBurney Tuckerson

    AuBurney Tuckerson ~GigglesTheAutisticHyena~

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    I see that feeling.. Oreo died right in front of me, Katie, and JellyBean. They seem unbothered by it right now (which i don't understand why. Maybe they can see his soul and are talking to him like my friend told me?).
     
  10. TheGuyWithTheTacoma

    TheGuyWithTheTacoma Well-Known Member

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    I cried over the death of Mandy more than I did over the death of my Grandma...
     
  11. Thinx

    Thinx Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    So sorry for your loss, Oreo looks so cute, and sounds like a great little character. I agree with others here, it's so hard to lose them, and I will always think of my pets that have died. However what I would say, is that their lives were all about living day by day, happy and glad to be with me, and I loved them and cared for them, as you have, so mostly, after this initial grief, I start to think about the great times with them, that's who they were, the last bit was just a short time, and I was there for them through it, as you were for Oreo.
     
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  12. Sarah S

    Sarah S Well-Known Member

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    Sadly this is a part of having pets or any animals im afraid. And its never easy when we have to see our friends leave us :(

    Please accept my deepest condolonces of youre lost :(

    I also know it feels lie this will forever destroy youre life and you will never be happy again BUT thats not the case you will with time find away to accept the lost and be able to move on. But you will never forget youre friend they will always have place in youre heart.
     
  13. Streetwise

    Streetwise very cautious contributor V.I.P Member

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    what I learned (it takes me an indescribably long time to learn anything )when jay (female )a dog that lived with me died was ,i was confusing grief !with panic! ,If i thought about the feelings a lot of times it was panic! and panic starts to get really !!!depressing !when it happens more than a few !times
     
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  14. Judge

    Judge Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    So sorry for your loss. These sort of posts break my heart, instantly reminding me why I no longer have a little friend at my feet who unconditionally loved me. They matter so much...

    Somewhere along the way a sense of loss just overwhelmed me to a point where I just stopped having pets altogether. Plus I'm elderly now, so there's always the likelihood of them outliving me.

    I hope that others here don't get to that point. However if you do, well....I understand. Time often mends such pain, but not in every case. And it's still ok to fondly recall those we have lost.

    My Yorkie.jpg
     
    Last edited: Nov 4, 2019
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  15. the_tortoise

    the_tortoise Lost Soul V.I.P Member

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    I am so sorry.

    I have never gotten over any loss...I just sort of get used to the pain so it is not as intense and front of mind.

    I understand your guilt as I had similar feelings when my sick cats died but it is not your fault...everyone dies eventually and you did your best to treat Oreo’s illness - do not blame yourself that his life was cut short.
     
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  16. AuBurney Tuckerson

    AuBurney Tuckerson ~GigglesTheAutisticHyena~

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    Thanks. It's hard just looking to see only two of my Guinea piggies now since one of then is gone.. Idk how Katie and JellyBean feel. They don't seem to be mourning at all, and JellyBean popcorned when Oreo passed, so IdK if he just didn't like Oreo, or if it's like my friend says, and he's talking to Oreo's soul. Katie seems.. Well.. Indifferent??? But idk. I can't really tell.
     
  17. Sarah S

    Sarah S Well-Known Member

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    You shouldent add human feelings in animals there is a difrence and defenetly in the smaller mammals compared to the bigger ones. they just see that one of them is gone and thats it they move on in life my friend . They live day by day hoer by hoer.
     
    Last edited: Nov 5, 2019
  18. AMANDA DESIREE WILSON

    AMANDA DESIREE WILSON Member

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    My advice is to get another one as soon as possible. Your pet seemed to be a support guinea pig and you need another one to keep going. Animals die. They don't live as long as people. Fortunately for you, guinea pigs are rather inexpensive. Get one and love it just like you loved the one you lost.
     
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  19. GrownupGirl

    GrownupGirl Tempermental Artist

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    When I was younger I had two guinea pigs. And then my parents got a dog that got into my room and killed one of them. It was very upsetting seeing him dead. My other guinea pig lived for another year or so and then I found him dead. He was old, about 6 years or so, so I had expected this kind of thing and wasn't really upset.

    I had a lot of different pets as a kid and whenever they died it was very upsetting or even traumatizing, like once I spent the whole summer crying over the loss of my puppy who had been run over by a car on the last day of school. But now I barely feel sad even when a close relative of mine has died, like my grandmother or my uncle who was very ill and died just last month. When my mom told me they died she asked a couple of times if I was all right as if she expected me to break down sobbing after the news, but I didn't and said I was fine. Am I a psychopath?
     
  20. AMANDA DESIREE WILSON

    AMANDA DESIREE WILSON Member

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    People that have Asperger's Syndrome have a hard time relating to people who die. Because we don't tend to get close to other humans like we do to animals, it is hard for us to feel the emotions that others feel when someone dies. I have had the opportunity to take care of zoo animals. I am an animal whisperer. I have seen some of my patients die and it is terrible. But you have to learn to move on. We had to alpacas die and then we had to cut them open to see why the died. Not an experience I would want others to see. My parents are dead as well as many other members of my family. I never showed any emotion either. You are not a psychopath. You just relate to animals more than people.
     
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