Hi xROBERTx,
I fully identify with a negative Mum. I'd asked at around age 5 or 6 what was wrong with me and was told not to be "stupid", etc. Even more recently, I found a picture and article in a psychology text depicting a child in an empty room and immediately made some connections with the info printed. Don't be stupid she said. I put it aside and took her word for it - again. Mum isn't perfect, she lies, and thinks things, making assumptions, etc, judges based on these assumptions and can be entirely negative and closed off from anything different.
Just last month (now several years from finding the article in the psychology text) I finally took another look into ASD and read the symptoms. It at once broke me up inside and relieved me, I've been very content since then as I understand at least what's gone 'awry' so often, to see my blind spots illustrated there at least lets me identify them all neatly - even though i can't necessarily understand them, or how they work - but to recognise at last...
I've enjoyed not voicing what I'm doing with psychologists now. I tell her **** because I know how much suffering her ignorance and/or lack of honesty/integrity has given me in my constant needing to know what's going on.
So this is sort of how things have gone so far:
1. I seen a counsellor and made mention that I have suspected I might have autism or at least traits in the past but (as outlined) ignored myself; he told me to see my GP and ask for a referal to see a psychologist.
2. I went to see my GP and simply said I want to see a psychologist - he prodded with amusement for details, prick, then I got a referal letter with the phone number of the psychologist.
3. I'd booked into see the psychologist, he wasn't able to diagnose autism what-so-ever - what's worse he was a time waster and continued to try stringing me along for a 3rd appointment to listen to his dumb story about how a car is like a person in a sort of ... to be continued waste of my time/ funding. (be wary of this in case you meet one).
4. After the 2nd appointment with this waste of space for a psychologist I had to locate the local autism centres by phone call which I'd obtained via online - on my own, no help from "psychologist/self help guru".
5. the information from the local autism place was extreemely helpful. giving me several contacts that specialise in autism and additional info such as letting me know that autism is usually carried out by a multidisiplinary team of psychologists - some of which are specialised in autism.
6. I left a message on the machine of the nearest contact and am expecting the return call soon to confirm or deny whereby I'll call the next nearest and so on until I obtain one.
I hear the process can take a fair number of sessions but it's worth it, I know in myself that I have a form of autism, I'm entirely sure which but I think I probably have AS. I wouldn't accept being told otherwise because my reaction to discovering it was anything but what I would usually experience, probably just me specifically since the discovery is built up from early childhood to now (I'm 26). A lot of frustration so far but if anything a huge relief - well worth it if you need concrete and unshakable closure to your matter.
I would say not to stress too much about getting a negative result or misdiagnosis as you have a good enough understanding of how you experience the world, and the degree and extent varies between every sufferer (apparently). I'm new here, you're welcome to keep in touch - anyone really, keep in touch and talk about whatever.
Hope this helps xROBERTx, best of luck mate!!