GET the COOKIE

[tree]

GET the COOKIE

Your goal is to get the cookie.

Unfortunately, the person before you has protected the cookie the best that he/she could.

Your goal is to find a way to steal the cookie and then keep it for yourself.

Example:

1st person: I put the cookie in a safe, with a 10-number code.

2nd person: I crack the code and steal the cookie. I eat the cookie.

Next person: I dissect your stomach and steal the cookie. I throw the cookie in a ditch.

Somebody else: The ditch is only 1 inch deep, so I simply pick up the cookie.
I put the cookie in one of my pockets & then hop a flight to Rio.


And so on....

NOTE:
You are not allowed to create, purchase, or somehow receive a NEW cookie.

The only reason you would need to create, purchase, or other wise receive an entirely new cookie would be if the original cookie was impossible to get.

And why would it be impossible to get?
There are no circumstances under which the cookie
is impossible for you to get. You are invincible.

You want the the cookie.
Get the Cookie.

 

[tree]

I have put the cookie where
you will never think to look for it:
under my pillow.

 

[Ste11aeres]

I am the Tooth Fairy. I find it by accident when collecting your teeth.
I put it in the depths of the Bougainville Trench which is in the Ocean south of New Guinea.

 

[Flinty]

I revive Jacques Cousteau, who guides me there to get it.
I drop it in downtown Pripyat, Ukraine, by the Chernobyl plant.

 

[tree]

I direct my drone to seek & decontaminate the cookie.
My drone brings me the cleaned up cookie, which I then
teach to understand & speak English, so that the cookie
can notify me if somebody tries to make off with it while I
am asleep. I put the cookie in the kitchen next to the box
of granola bars, so it won't be lonely.

 

[Flinty]

Jacques Cousteau teaches the granola bars to speak French so they can yell "au secours" to muffle out any English sounds that the cookie makes. I then get an army of ants to carry the cookie and granola bars to somewhere in the Athabasca tar sands.

 

[tree]

The Athabasca Oil Sands Project allows me to shadow
an employee in charge of separating the sand from the
oil and I grab the cookie.

I put it in a peanut butter jar and then stash the jar
in the barn in hole in one of the old goat pens.

 

[Flinty]

I train a truffle pig to smell peanut butter cookies, which should work sufficiently. I just have to do the digging.

I take the cookie to the Large Hadron Collider to see what happens when it's hit with a steady stream of electrons.

 

[tree]

I accompany Sheldon Cooper to the Hadron Collider.
People are amazed to see me with Sheldon Cooper, not
because he is a fictional character, but because they think
I am his creation. The operators of the collider think I
am a rather life like artificial intelligence.

They happily give me the cookie so that they can watch me
handle it and manipulate it in an almost human way. I say
"Thank you for the cookie," which delights them, being so
similar to a human response.

I put the cookie in my backpack and walk to the nearest
comic book store. The people there are elated to see me.
They also believe I am nearly human. With the donations
I receive there [in exchange for a demonstration of my
cookie handling ability] I buy a ticket back home.

That same possum has come back on the front porch, so
I tuck the cookie in her pouch while she eats the rest of the
left over cat food. She ambles off.

 

[Mia]

I adopt and train a male possum to hold a cookie in his mouth, while romancing female possums. This particular male possum named Ozzy can do all sorts of magic tricks, mesmerizing female possums while taking anything they might have to give. Ozzy takes the female possum's cookie at the same time as he makes her pregnant.

He climbs a tree afterwards and a female bat named Janet grabs his cookie while he's asleep. Janet takes the cookie to a nearby bat cave many miles underground and nests upside down, dropping the cookie into a decades old pile of bat droppings.

 

[tree]

It's been years since any bats have lived in this cave, so
I sweep the nicely composted guano aside to reveal the cookie.

I go to WalMart and stick the cookie in the display case full
of cookies.

 

[Mia]

Called an old friend who adopted a retired agriculture food sniffing beagle. Bailey worked most of his life sniffing out contraband food in travelers baggage at the airport. Asked her if she thought Bailey might do a little job for me, and if he still had his agriculture customs vest, she thought he might like it so she agreed. Bailey is a little lost in retirement. Brought over a baggie of scraped up bat guano with a substitute cookie in it.

Pulled out the cookie and hid it outside, while Bailey smelled the guano. Let Bailey out and although he's elderly, he's never lost that nose of his, it took him eighteen minutes to find the cookie. Test done, the following day I called WalMart and asked
if they would allow me to bring Bailey into the store, as part of a training exercise. They said yes. Bailey and I went to WalMart and walked directly to the display case of cookies, Bailey sniffed and walked around the case for a total of twenty minutes and then sat down directly in front of one specific cookie.

I removed the cookie and carefully placed it in a bag, and paid for it, along with some biscuits for Bailey. In the WalMart parking lot, I took the cookie out to look at it and a seagull named Johnathan whose life I once saved, grabbed the cookie and flew away.

 

[StephF]

I stalked the seagull and found the nest. I found Jonathan along with his brother Stephen and netted them both.
I found the cookie in the bottom of the nest and handed it in to the Society for Protection of Cookies and Biscuits.

 

[Vinca]

The Society for Protection of Cookies and Biscuits eat a batch of biscuits that were meant for Alice and are now the size of ants, so can no longer provide sufficient protection of the cookie, so acquiring the cookie was like taking candy from a baby.


I crumble the cookie into one hundred pieces and feed each piece to a rat and then release each rat in a different location around the globe, from all the others.

 

[tree]

I get my voo doo practicing neighbor to channel the spirit of
the Pied Piper of Hamelin. All the rats are drawn to the Piper's
tune. They are thirsty after the trip to my house where I have
set out dishes of water laced with ipecac. They drink.

After the rats puke up the cookie pieces, I moosh the pieces
back together, toast lightly in my convection oven, and hide
the refreshed cookie in a hole a woodpecker has made in one
of the hemlocks out back.

 

[Flinty]

Well, the hemlock out back was not something one would plant on Arbor Day, but rather the detective Sherlock Hemlock. This means that getting the cookie is less a problem of dealing with him - that's simple barter - but rather keeping it away from Cookie Monster. Luckily, I am able to get some juice (heh, heh) to Herry, who is strong enough to enable me to get away from Sesame Street. I take the cookie to Death Valley and put it inside one of those rocks that move, so it can make a getaway if necessary.

 

[Mia]

Build a real human scale RCA Dumbo Moon Walker, and retrofit it with the borrowed canada arm and some air conditioning and food and water. Truck it on a flatbed to Death Valley, and when no one is looking I set off into Death valley. Eventually discovering the area with moving rocks, and using the converted death ray scanner to hit the rocks with radar, searching for anomalies in the rocks.

The 1961 RCA Dumbo moon walker

When I find the rock with the cookie inside, I use the canada arm to pick it up, clamping on so it won't move. Remove the cookie and place it in a zip lock baggie in the Moon Walker and do a little victory tour, laughing at the heat. With the AC on full and a glass of milk I think about eating the cookie, but decide that since it's been through a rat's digestive system, even though it was toasted later, probably couldn't keep it down.

Board a plane for Washington D.C., and go to the Library of Congress. Cutting a hole in a book I hide the cookie in one of the 34,528,818 volumes there.

 

[zurb]

I buy a lotto ticket and win exactly $34,528,818. I offer $1 to 34,528,818 people to get one book out of the library on my behalf, and eventually find the cookie.
As I have no money left for a prize, I give the cookie to the winner. Unfortunately for you, I have no idea now who it was, or where they live. My dog ate the records.

 

[Guppyfry]

I take out full page ads in every major North American Newspaper looking for the person that zurb gave the cookie to. Eventually, the owner of the cookie, alarmed at the unexpected and unwelcome notoriety comes forward with said cooking and gladly gives it up.

I charter a helicopter and direct the pilot to fly to some random location in the Northern Parts of the British Columbia Coast Mountain Range and drop the cookie down a glacial crevasse, miles deep.

 

[sonnesun]

The pilot was me. I go back to the location with a team of glacial mountain explorers with hi-tech heat-seeking and infra-red equipment and eventually retrieve the cookie.

I get back into my helicopter and immediately fly to Mount Etna, then drop the cookie into the steaming hot lava of this bubbling active volcano, which disintegrates the cookie entirely.