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frustration and "special interests"?

H

harrietjansson

Well-Known Member
I sometimes hear people talk about "special interests". If I understand it must be an obsession and not just an normal interest.
I read this:
"Apparently, special interests even occur in about 20-30% of preschool kids in the general population with no known disabilities. Except we don’t call them “special interests” then, we call them “intense interests.”" Celebrating Atypical Minds

What seems to be very important according to people like Attwood is the pleasure get out of your "special interest(s)". If this is important than I must tell you: I never had a speacial interests beacuse of one fact, ie I have always experienced a lot of frustration with my interests. Here I am not refering to having a meltdoiwn when I was not allowed to engage in my special interests but rather the fact that special interests itself don't only come with things that are easy. Attwood says that special interests can be extremely problematic. He sure says that and I agree. It's supposed to be addictive.
Do special interests only have to be pleasurable, ie there can be no frustration?
I even engage in interests even if they don't give me that much pleasure. This seems to be one of the reason why I don't have an ADHD diagnosis.
When people have intense interests they often get frustrated. I hear of people who say they didn't really get frustrated but I think they just got rid of the unrealistic expectations. Perhaps that's what happens ith people who have special interests?
 
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Well thinking about myself, I would say yes definitely interests can be frustrating at times. And on these forums, I can think of a number of times I have read of people's frustrations relating to pursuit of interests.

What sort of frustrations do you mean? For example, I can be frustrated when I can't spend as much time as I would like on an interest, or when I can't get as skilled as I wish at it, or can't afford equipment etc.
 
Special interests do not have to be problematic unless you begin to ignore the necessary aspects of your life while involved in them.

In fact, I made careers out of mine and still do much of the same in retirement.
 
Thinx said:
Well thinking about myself, I would say yes definitely interests can be frustrating at times. And on these forums, I can think of a number of times I have read of people's frustrations relating to pursuit of interests.

What sort of frustrations do you mean? For example, I can be frustrated when I can't spend as much time as I would like on an interest, or when I can't get as skilled as I wish at it, or can't afford equipment etc.
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I experience a lot of frustration with interests. There are video with title similar to "what to do when you want to throw your musical instrument outside of the window". It is amazing how we fail to mention this aspect of an interest.
Not everything about a specific interest is pleasurable. Reality kicks in when I play or sing music. I have problems.
I cannot take away the part of me that gets frustrated when I play music.
Why do people say that with a special interest you go from being a person with frustrations to a person who never gets frustrated? Are some "aspies" really good at practising?
When I practice I get frustrated. I thought that was a part of ASD.
I don't change just because I do something I wanna do. It is very upsetting to me that many people dont mention how a special interest can be frutstrating.
One guy with ASD, if I heard him right, even broke a billiards cue as he got so frustrated with his playing. So No. Not all of us get away from our frustrated brain even if it is a special interest.

"For me, indulging in a special interest is how I recharge myself. It’s comforting."
What’s so Special About a Special Interest?

How is destroying a billiards cue or getting upset when the wrong football wins the game recharging and something lovely? It seems extremely problematic and could be expensive (depends on what items you destroy). I try to laugh at this but it's hard. It's not what anyone really wants.
 
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Atwood isn't God. What your SI is is what it is and how it effects you. Met one Aspie, Met one Aspie.
 
OkRad said:
Atwood isn't God. What your SI is is what it is and how it effects you. Met one Aspie, Met one Aspie.
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It's not just Attwood. It's all over the internet when I search for "special interests".
My thinking was this: if you are a person who gets angry or irritated easily when you don't get what you will also be that person when engaging in your special interest.
Why do people fail or refrain from taling about this? I don't trust most of what is said about ASD since people often fail to tell the whole story. I do think they guy who likes dinasours can be extremely irritated if he doesn't understand a certain theory about dinasours. I am extremely frustrated right now when I write this.
Special interests do not always take away or reduce meltdown.
I should stop reading about ASD, I guess...
 
Nope, not yet, dont give up on educating yourself, perhaps embrace humility and ask someone (nitro) to reccommend a better book?
I think you seeing bias in your reading and think its objective info somehow. The SI is problematic, it just is. Never satisfied with your own effort, there is a perfect vision or in your case a perfect song....
I wanna hear you sing tho, and dont care if it isnt perfect. Just sing a bit to ease MY troubled spirit, because you can, ..... you need birdsong, breakfast, and i need two hugs and coffee filtres
 
Perhaps you have to look beyond much of any special interest in itself, and instead consider things like comorbid conditions which may in fact "color" your special interests in all kinds of unintended ways.

For instance an involuntary sense of striving for perfection can potentially ruin just about anything- let alone one's cherished special interests. Which can be manifested in any number of ways as the OP has itemized. Impatience in getting others to understand. Impatience in getting the results you crave. Impatience in covering the cost to pursue such interests. IMO such concerns aren't about any special interest in particular, but rather how one approaches them whether consciously or subconsciously.

In my own case, making it far less about my autism, and far more about my comorbid OCD. Though given my compulsion to remain orderly, it also keeps my special interests from dominating my time at the expense of necessary every-day functions. Though I recognize that for others, this may not be the case.
 
Special interests are not problematic for me, they keep my mind occupied. I have one major special interest and a few minor special interests that change a lot, depending what has my attention at the time. My major special interest is machinery. I made a living working with machines for 56 years. It is almost like never having to work. The more difficult they were, the more interesting they were. I almost always worked alone and worked with what I like. How is that for a Aspies dream?
 
Skittlebisquit said:
Nope, not yet, dont give up on educating yourself, perhaps embrace humility and ask someone (nitro) to reccommend a better book?
I think you seeing bias in your reading and think its objective info somehow. The SI is problematic, it just is. Never satisfied with your own effort, there is a perfect vision or in your case a perfect song....
I wanna hear you sing tho, and dont care if it isnt perfect. Just sing a bit to ease MY troubled spirit, because you can, ..... you need birdsong, breakfast, and i need two hugs and coffee filtres
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I need professionals and not books or spotify podcasts.
I disslike generalization found in books. I never fit that well into those categories. My special interest is my life!
 
harrietjansson said:
And I would have expressed frustration a lot!
We are so simmilar but they so different!
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That's an interesting thing in itself to consider. One's own level of tenacity.

What drives a person to stick with it, even when it makes their lives miserable? A dynamic I dealt with in learning several things related to high technology. Involving the pain of pursuing such things, yet the exaltation and pleasure of mastering them. And lol....no I don't consider myself a masochist at all. :oops:

In my own case I really do suspect the common denominator is OCD. Which at work tends to be an asset, and at play often a liability. Though in either case, I seem constantly driven subconsciously and otherwise.

- Compelled. Guilty as charged. Formally diagnosed with OCD in 1982.
 
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I think there is a difference between fun and rewarding. Things I do take a lot of effort and I am not having "fun," in the smiley, selfie, instagram kind of way. However, my interests are very rewarding, in that I get a great deal out of them. The reward is the "pleasure."
 
Different interests bring on different levels of tenacity.

Ballet is a mental and physical coordination. Stain glass - cutting the glass, soldering and using flux are time consuming but very fun. Checking a computer for malware is like looking for the holy grail, like l need to find the "bugs" and obliterate them, and l may do this for several months, a compulsive need to get into every file on my system.
 
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The only problem my special interests tend to cause is that it becomes uncomfortable to do other things that I'm required to do, such as work, because of wishing I could be doing whatever my special interest is.
 
Can "neurotypicals" have "special interests"? If an "NT" (I don't like this term but anyways) likes football and watches lots of games and maybe even plays the sport himself/herself it is never considered a "special interests". Why not?
 
Crossbreed said:
The "popularity" of one's interest seems to be the deciding factor...
(Popular & typical are close in meaning, too.)
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Are you saying that a special interests is something asocial (that could become something social in future)?
I mean, a person could find people ith the same interests but the goal with the interests was never to become social?
I have never been able to find a good definition of "speicla interest". What do the diagnostic criteria in DSM-V (or IV) or ICD-10(11?) say about it?

DSM-IV: "encompassing preoccupation with one or more stereotyped and restricted patterns of interest that is abnormal either in intensity or focus."
Why can't the "NT" (or maybe an "aspies) with his/her football interest have an "abnormal intensity"? Is that because he is a social person (even "aspies" can have social interests)? Is that the only reason? If you are asocial in your interests we call it a "special interest" but if you are social we call it an "interest"?
So what about the stamp collector who joined a stamp collection association (or whatever we call it) and meet either online or physically with other stamp collectors? He/she is social and therefore it is not a "special interest"?
 
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harrietjansson said:
It's all over the internet when I search for "special interests".
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^

There is a short saying, the source of which I no longer remember;
“Happiness is not a noun.”

Special interests are different for different people.

Emotions are different for different people.

ex.: People have been known to have a special interest of following & reading miserable, pessimistic news.
 
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