Forced interaction at work

[ASD_Geek]

I really don’t like forced interaction at work as I find it extremely overwhelming and exhausting. The organization where I work has quarterly, mandatory, team-building meetings that focus on our “core values”. While I understand the value of team building and understand the importance of knowing the core values of the organization, I cannot stand being forced to interact with a large group (25 people) in a conference room. We are forced to be creative and develop, then perform scenarios related to certain topics. I can make it through small interactions through scripts that I have in my head, but I need time to think through and analyze my decisions and am not very good at on-the-spot creativity.

This is our third meeting this year and I sort of know what to expect regarding the meeting structure, although the topics and activities will be different. The first two meetings were horrifying. During the first one, I got put in a group with my boss's boss. During the second one, I tried to contribute to the team conversation, but let someone else speak for our group.

I guess that the only saving grace is that we have a 3-week notice, although that also gives me three weeks to worry about the meeting.

Has anyone been through something like this? If so, what coping mechanisms or techniques did you use?

 

[Aspychata]

Would it help you if you knew maybe 78% of the other particpants feel exactly the way you do? But eveyone puts on a mask to fit in. Perhaps read about things happening out in core value land and update yourself before you go yo meeting. Then at least you attempted to bring your shizam to the we are a tribe meeting.

 

[Running Girl]

I guess for me team building quasi-socialization with exercises and planned activities isnt as bad as team building which is purely social, like a work 'party' . Hard to imagine how NT'S enjoy either type of team building, yet i think many of them do. For the activities and exercises type, i can play along/act is if for a little while. For the 'its a party' type, I hope I'm too busy at work to attend, or I can otherwise be avoidant.

 

[Judge]

Has anyone been through something like this? If so, what coping mechanisms or techniques did you use?

I'm afraid for much of anyone who has worked in a crowded corporate office environment, my response to you is, "Haven't we all?"

This strikes me as social dynamics that for the most part are utterly unavoidable in much of any office environment. Where you don't necessarily adapt and overcome, but at least try to "soldier on" through when such meetings occur.

 

[Aspychata]

I use to have to sit through, l was a cherry blossom winner and now you need to sit here one hour while l drone on just so l can impress you with absolutely nothing. State Law Board Assoc. If l could get away with crying at that meeting just to see if l would be granted clemency from future required meetings with Ms Blossoms.

 

[SDRSpark]

I actually do OK with (or even enjoy) meetings where we discuss issues that are actually relevant to work. I enjoy those discussions. I've even enjoyed some meetings where we got into really meaty discussions about communication, personalities, etc. These were extremely helpful to me.

What I can't do well is role-play. If you say "this is the situation, let's discuss how it should and shouldn't be handled, and why." I'm 100% on board with that and probably excited about it. The second you want me to role-play the same situation, I check out. I get extremely anxious about having to do this...it's like my brain just shuts down and a wall goes up between me and what I'm supposed to be doing.

Don't even talk to me about the small talk team building crap they like to make us do. I can say from experience, NO ONE likes it. Company birthday celebration every month? Great! Cake and socializing? Fantastic! Having to toss a ball around and tell everyone about your favorite movie? Yeah, no. Just no. No, no, no. I really think the upper management is on a different planet from the rest of us. I haven't met a single person on my level who liked doing this and thought it was a good idea.

 

[unperson]

urgh!

I think the socially cluey people stay under the radar in these situations, it's an 'ideas stealing' scenario, for which you will not be rewarded, but rather, punished, for standing out from people who know to stay under the radar.

 

[ASD_Geek]

Having to toss a ball around and tell everyone about your favorite movie? Yeah, no. Just no. No, no, no. I really think the upper management is on a different planet from the rest of us. I haven't met a single person on my level who liked doing this and thought it was a good idea.

It funny that you mentioned this. This is exactly what happened at our last meeting! The question that I got was, "What was your most unusual pet?" For the record, my answer was that I had a pair of seahorses when I was 12.

 

[Bolletje]

I like meetings because talking about work isn’t an issue for me. I dislike lunches or coffee breaks with my colleagues and have never been able to work up the nerve to go to an office party. I’ve gone out to dinner with my direct colleagues a few time, but I always feel incredibly awkward and make sure to have a few drinks in me before I even arrive so I’ll be a little more relaxed. I still spent most of the time awkwardly shoveling food into my mouth while not knowing what to say.

 

[Kirsty]

I like meetings because talking about work isn’t an issue for me. I dislike lunches or coffee breaks with my colleagues and have never been able to work up the nerve to go to an office party. I’ve gone out to dinner with my direct colleagues a few time, but I always feel incredibly awkward and make sure to have a few drinks in me before I even arrive so I’ll be a little more relaxed. I still spent most of the time awkwardly shoveling food into my mouth while not knowing what to say.

That is why I prefer to keep work separate. It’s a boundary I made up for myself that I’m proud to have and stuck to it for years. No matter how much I like someone at work, no-one gets treated differently.

 

[ASD_Geek]

Thanks, everyone! I appreciate it. The group that will be there is very chatty, often blowing past scheduled times. Some go to lunch together and hang out outside of work. I know that some people enjoy that, but I try to keep it separate as I could never get into it. I just pray that it goes fast!

 

[Mary Terry]

I really don’t like forced interaction at work as I find it extremely overwhelming and exhausting. The organization where I work has quarterly, mandatory, team-building meetings that focus on our “core values”. While I understand the value of team building and understand the importance of knowing the core values of the organization, I cannot stand being forced to interact with a large group (25 people) in a conference room. We are forced to be creative and develop, then perform scenarios related to certain topics. I can make it through small interactions through scripts that I have in my head, but I need time to think through and analyze my decisions and am not very good at on-the-spot creativity.

This is our third meeting this year and I sort of know what to expect regarding the meeting structure, although the topics and activities will be different. The first two meetings were horrifying. During the first one, I got put in a group with my boss's boss. During the second one, I tried to contribute to the team conversation, but let someone else speak for our group.

I guess that the only saving grace is that we have a 3-week notice, although that also gives me three weeks to worry about the meeting.

Has anyone been through something like this? If so, what coping mechanisms or techniques did you use?

I'm NT but had to deal with similar scenarios for decades as an attorney meeting with co-counsel, clients, opposing counsel, expert witnesses, etc. My advice is prepare, prepare, prepare. It will build self-confidence and help get you in the right frame of mind.

You'll do fine as you have done in the past. You got this covered even though it stresses the heck out of you!

 

[ASD_Geek]

I'm NT but had to deal with similar scenarios for decades as an attorney meeting with co-counsel, clients, opposing counsel, expert witnesses, etc. My advice is prepare, prepare, prepare. It will build self-confidence and help get you in the right frame of mind.

You'll do fine as you have done in the past. You got this covered even though it stresses the heck out of you!

Thanks! Unfortunately, there's not much information to go on for me to prepare. The topics and activities aren't mentioned until that meeting. I have a vague idea of the structure of the meeting, so that should help.

Thanks again for the encouragement!