For those dealing with hypersensitivity

[Jena]

So for those dealing with any hypersensitivity issues would y’all be angry at someone who uses the privilege example as to why you shouldn’t talk about your sensitivity.

for example my dad bought the wrong toilet paper this toilet paper is very scratchy and thin. I was complaining how much it was irritating me. Then my brother goes on to say that I’m so privlege and that some kids don’t even have toilet paper and stuff like that and even used the word of how spoiled I am. Which I started getting mad cause I literally am sensitive to other stuff it won’t matter how I grew up Im very sensitive. So was wondering if any of you guys with sensitivity issues would get mad too if someone was saying stuff like this?

 

[Suzanne]

Not now, because of my faith, in fact, but before, as a child, I heard it a lot and yes, instead of making one reflect on a deeper issue, all it does it makes you want to bite back.

I am completely aware that I have it good, compared to many and I say thank you to my Creator for that, however it is rather relative. One person may have it bad, but because they know nothing else, in fact, the one who is upset because of a situation as in your case, as it worse than that person and that is what most people fail to appreciate.

I too have to buy better quality toilet paper, but hubby feels the same way, so no issue there.

 

[sport]

My wife is in control of the buying just go along and try not to upset the applecart.

 

[OkRad]

People can use any privilege against anyone for any power trip. If you have two legs, lungs that work, enough money for food, eyes that work----where does it end?

If you have sensory issues, you have sensory issues and they ARE part of a legitimate neurological disorder/difference known as Autism!

I could never understand why people think that is any different than the use of a single eye?! It's a truly disabling co-morbidity of the aforementioned difference/disability and to reduce it to choice seems as scientifically illiterate as calling a deaf person insubordinate and obstreperous (which happened a lot back in the day).

Keep pushing away ignorance and adhere to scientific reality about your condition. If they refuse to be educated, there is not much you can do other than maintain your own dignity, difficult though that may be.

 

[artful_aspie]

This will never go away, your sensitivities are here to stay. Your brother is not kind & your father is cheap. I mean quality toilet paper can be inexpensive too. I would suggest you start to gather some information on ASD & make some posters stating some basic facts: Neurotypicals can also suffer from allergies from nuts, iodine, etc. Neurodiverse people suffer from sensory issues especially around touch, smell, & sounds that will never change. I am much older & I warn everyone, my masking is coming down as I find some issues I can no longer stand. Neurotypicals may learn to change some things. Neurodiverse people have different brain structuring & therefore react to things differently. I still have meltdowns at 66 from noise & smells.

 

[WolfSpirit]

So for those dealing with any hypersensitivity issues would y’all be angry at someone who uses the privilege example as to why you shouldn’t talk about your sensitivity.

for example my dad bought the wrong toilet paper this toilet paper is very scratchy and thin. I was complaining how much it was irritating me. Then my brother goes on to say that I’m so privlege and that some kids don’t even have toilet paper and stuff like that and even used the word of how spoiled I am. Which I started getting mad cause I literally am sensitive to other stuff it won’t matter how I grew up Im very sensitive. So was wondering if any of you guys with sensitivity issues would get mad too if someone was saying stuff like this?

Your brother is being quite insensitive. I mean, I can sort of see both sides, and I don't know anything about you other than this post, but I think even NTs get annoyed sometimes by little things than annoy them. I get that sometimes hypersensitivity issue don't feel like 'little things', but I'm thinking more in the broader scope of things when I say it. OTOH, some NTs can be quite clueless about things that are important to us. Maybe the rest of your family doesn't even notice the problem, but that doesn't mean you don't have a right to. One solution would be to either buy your own toilet paper (probably not practical if you're living with your family, but a great perk of living independently), or have your family agree that you're the one who gets to choose which kind gets bought. (also might be more tricky given COVID restrictions limiting how many family members are allowed in a store at once.)

 

[dragonfire42]

Sensory issues are absolutely not the same as being picky or anything. For example, my issues with particular foods (taste/texture) don’t just mean that I would rather not eat them, it means that if I put them in my mouth, I will involuntarily gag and my body will refuse to swallow no matter how hard I try to make it, and if the only foods available are ones I have issues with, yes, I will go hungry rather than trying to eat them. Unfortunately, I haven’t figured out a way to get people who don’t have sensory issues to understand/believe what it’s actually like to have them, they still just think you’re exaggerating

 

[watersprite]

You have a right to use what feels good for you. And to not have it turn into a stress attack from them.

Hypersensitive to textures, sound and glare-y bright light, & social situations. Even though I informed and explained this to people, they thought I was being intentionally difficult, and should be in control of it. Like that’s possible, the way one chooses a pair of socks.
Why do people (okay, certain people) take our issues and turn them personal? What, I, alone among all humans actually chose to be given these particular issues specifically to annoy, put off and/or hurt others? (sarcasm)

Does anyone else get this, “You refuse to have anything to do with _____.” Is it impossible to communicate with people who take everything as though it is about them?
Hypothetical question.

(end of rant)

 

[Jay Galatic]

So for those dealing with any hypersensitivity issues would y’all be angry at someone who uses the privilege example as to why you shouldn’t talk about your sensitivity.

for example my dad bought the wrong toilet paper this toilet paper is very scratchy and thin. I was complaining how much it was irritating me. Then my brother goes on to say that I’m so privlege and that some kids don’t even have toilet paper and stuff like that and even used the word of how spoiled I am. Which I started getting mad cause I literally am sensitive to other stuff it won’t matter how I grew up Im very sensitive. So was wondering if any of you guys with sensitivity issues would get mad too if someone was saying stuff like this?

I would've said "Oh i didn't realize we are poor in a third world country.". As a female you probably have to have that talk with your dad as to why your hair doesn't protect your bum. (obviously your using it for more than #2)

Dads aint going to realize that, that's a mom thing.
(I'm a dude but as a autist I think about everything.) I mean if your dad was like "we just cant afford it right now." ok cool, but if its just like "Well I was lazy". Then different story.

Also like the one above said, due to my faith I would never find petty remarks offensive, I just kick into troll gear and get twice as smart-alecky.
just gotta be like "dad this stuff will give me a uti" and your dad will correct his mistake. simple stuff really sure, not something young people would ever discuss with their adult parent, but might as well if you want what you want.
I'm sure he wouldn't want to pay the copay over a uti and the prescription cost lol

Sometimes we forget by beating around the bush, we are also making the issue not seem as significant. saying "irritating" isn't going to do jack.

As for hypersensitivity, oh yeah I had hypersensitivity, was also allergic to eggs, all tree nuts, latex, and touch.

Yes touch. You ever lightly scratch a itch to have 14 red swollen nail lines across your skin? the swelling makes your nails only look 3 times as thich on your skin but hey. although it was fun too, you could walk into class after you have your friend slap you with something in his hand, and you would see the entire swollen imprint of his hand and the lego or pencil or whever we decided to put into his hand, was hilarious. to bad i grew out of it for the most part you could strangle yourself and lie to your boss saying your throat is swelling and you have go to the hospital, no way they would chance you dying at work haha, awh, i miss that super power

 

[Suzette]

Brothers! I think they have been the bane of many siblings NT and ND alike! Some seem hardwired to find our weaknesses and use them to torment us. It is not kind and no one will say you should accept his rough treatment. In short, your brother is deliberately being a jerk just to watch you squirm.

However, if you can, try to imagine your bother (oh, freudian slip typo!) as a crack in the sidewalk, annoying but there is nothing to do but step over it.

I just saw a brilliant comeback for those petty bullies. When they make their accusations you just respond "Okay". Try to say it in a bland voice without any inflection. If you fail to get upset (on the outdide) he may just give up. No tears from a stone my darling!

I wish I had that piece of advice growing up. It could have saved me years of severe bullying by my brother.

 

[Mis-fit]

So for those dealing with any hypersensitivity issues would y’all be angry at someone who uses the privilege example as to why you shouldn’t talk about your sensitivity.

for example my dad bought the wrong toilet paper this toilet paper is very scratchy and thin. I was complaining how much it was irritating me. Then my brother goes on to say that I’m so privlege and that some kids don’t even have toilet paper and stuff like that and even used the word of how spoiled I am. Which I started getting mad cause I literally am sensitive to other stuff it won’t matter how I grew up Im very sensitive. So was wondering if any of you guys with sensitivity issues would get mad too if someone was saying stuff like this?

In a word... YES! What your brother did is what is referred to as "Invalidating" you. To invalidate means to discount, make out to be meaningless, insignificant, lacking of value, pointless. When someone discounts your feelings and makes them out to be meaningless, insignificant, lacking of value and pointless, it will make us mad! The way to deal with him is to take his opinion, turn it around and invalidate "IT" not him, it. Discount his opinion, make it out to be meaningless, insignificant, lacking of value and pointless. Then it will no longer bother you what he says, or what his opinion is, because you will see it for what it is, insignificant.

Now your brother may have not said this meaning to hurt you, but it seems by what he said that he did. If he his not aiming to hurt you and he says something like this again, invalidate what he said. If you invalidate him, as a person, that is being inappropriate, for he has a right to his opinion, even if he is being mean, he is still a person. But if you tell yourself that what he said "is" meaningful, significant, valuable or that he has a point it will hurt your feelings and you will get mad, you don't have to value his opinions. Just invalidate what he says internally, you don't need to tell him you disagree with him and that he is pointless, just think it to yourself. He may grow frustrated if he is trying to get to you, but if he was not, then there should be no problem. If he is trying to get to you, then he won't be able to and that will frustrate him. Just smile and walk away, or sit there and smile. You don't have to say anything, but if you do, try to be nice.

 

[22222]

Your saying the paper was scratchy and thin didn't make a poor person lose their toilet paper. It's great that your brother likes thin, scratchy toilet paper but that doesn't mean you have to.

 

[Matthias]

So for those dealing with any hypersensitivity issues would y’all be angry at someone who uses the privilege example as to why you shouldn’t talk about your sensitivity.

for example my dad bought the wrong toilet paper this toilet paper is very scratchy and thin. I was complaining how much it was irritating me. Then my brother goes on to say that I’m so privlege and that some kids don’t even have toilet paper and stuff like that and even used the word of how spoiled I am. Which I started getting mad cause I literally am sensitive to other stuff it won’t matter how I grew up Im very sensitive. So was wondering if any of you guys with sensitivity issues would get mad too if someone was saying stuff like this?

Toilet paper is a recent invention. Many older people alive today had to use newspapers when they were younger. The toilet paper you described is probably much better than what most people have had to use throughout history so you are definitely lucky and privileged that any toilet paper is available.

 

[watersprite]

Toilet paper is a recent invention. Many older people alive today had to use newspapers when they were younger. The toilet paper you described is probably much better than what most people have had to use throughout history so you are definitely lucky and privileged that any toilet paper is available.

This is not on the op’s topic.
+
Not many people subscribe to a paper version of newspapers these days.

 

[Matthias]

This is not on the op’s topic.
+
Not many people subscribe to a paper version of newspapers these days.

The question asked was, "So was wondering if any of you guys with sensitivity issues would get mad too if someone was saying stuff like this?"

My answer - No I would not because I'd recognize that the other person was right about me being privileged to have so much stuff available to me that most people throughout history did not have. I'd rather feel better being thankful for what I do have despite any hypersensitivities than feel worse complaining and getting mad at other people for expressing their opinions.

 

[couerovertout]

So for those dealing with any hypersensitivity issues would y’all be angry at someone who uses the privilege example as to why you shouldn’t talk about your sensitivity.

for example my dad bought the wrong toilet paper this toilet paper is very scratchy and thin. I was complaining how much it was irritating me. Then my brother goes on to say that I’m so privlege and that some kids don’t even have toilet paper and stuff like that and even used the word of how spoiled I am. Which I started getting mad cause I literally am sensitive to other stuff it won’t matter how I grew up Im very sensitive. So was wondering if any of you guys with sensitivity issues would get mad too if someone was saying stuff like this?

I’ve gone through very similar, frustrating things, such as people telling me I’m spoiled for sensitivities I cannot control. How picky I am while eating, especially. I dislike many foods due to texture or smell. These people are oblivious to the fact that we are different and do not mean badly! I wish they could get it through their heads... It’s not up to us!

 

[Rasputin]

So for those dealing with any hypersensitivity issues would y’all be angry at someone who uses the privilege example as to why you shouldn’t talk about your sensitivity.

for example my dad bought the wrong toilet paper this toilet paper is very scratchy and thin. I was complaining how much it was irritating me. Then my brother goes on to say that I’m so privlege and that some kids don’t even have toilet paper and stuff like that and even used the word of how spoiled I am. Which I started getting mad cause I literally am sensitive to other stuff it won’t matter how I grew up Im very sensitive. So was wondering if any of you guys with sensitivity issues would get mad too if someone was saying stuff like this?

Yes I would. Buy your brother some cheap paper towels to use.

 

[Nemesis_2k7]

So for those dealing with any hypersensitivity issues would y’all be angry at someone who uses the privilege example as to why you shouldn’t talk about your sensitivity.

for example my dad bought the wrong toilet paper this toilet paper is very scratchy and thin. I was complaining how much it was irritating me. Then my brother goes on to say that I’m so privlege and that some kids don’t even have toilet paper and stuff like that and even used the word of how spoiled I am. Which I started getting mad cause I literally am sensitive to other stuff it won’t matter how I grew up Im very sensitive. So was wondering if any of you guys with sensitivity issues would get mad too if someone was saying stuff like this?

i hate it when people like your brother make ignorant and obnoxious comments like he did. i have the same issue with TP. certain brands can cause a rash. how is that entitlement? its an honest, real, problem. i find it takes a special kind of stupid, to minimize peoples issues. and then go so far as to call them 'entitled' or 'picky'. its just.. pathetic. it really is. sorry. i have zero time for people like that. because i dare say, if THEY had the issue, THEN, it would matter.